Old Fashioned Romance & Courtship

First, let me say that people should do in relationships what works for them. Whatever that is.But whatever that is, you need to be upfront, open, and honest about it with your partner. I think there is a common, basic standard of behavior for everybody, like saying please and thank you. Then there are standards of behavior that you personally expect from your mate that you need to be clear about. If you appreciate a man coming to the door when hepicks you up, stop going outside when he pulls up and honks the horn. When he asks what the problem is, tell him you don't like that honking the horn business. If a man likes it when a woman takes initiative and calls him to go out sometimes if the interest is mutual, he needs to tell her that and tell her why. Open your mouth and tell people what it is you want or don't want from them. Eliminates all kinds of confusion, second guessing,and hurt feelings.


Second, I believe that being equal partners and occupying different roles based on gender are not mutually exclusive - if both partners desire and agree that certain roles shouldbe occupied based on gender or any other criteria they have, then the partnership is equal. They both get what they want, don't they? I know it's not a politically correct thing to say, but some people - some WOMEN - honestly don't have a problem with gender-specific roles in a relationship; it is what they want, what they desire, what they choose. If they get what they want and are happy and loved, and their mate is happy in their role and is loved, andno one's being oppressed or hurt or abused or taken for granted, what's the problem? Why isn't that equal? It is to me. Equal partners, in my estimation, does not mean we divide the chores, responsibilites, problems, and bills straight down the middle. Equal partners in a relationship means that he and I discuss what we want out of that relationship, what we will each bring to it, what we want and expect from each other, and the things we will do to make it work for us;and both of us then set to the task of equally contributing to the success of the relationship and each other's happiness. That's what equal partners is to me.