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let's talk about sex love, love, LOVE! yes there's love, but how about love and SEX? let's be real, because in the world of dating and love, we want to know pleasure in the bedroom. let's talk about what guys like, girl's

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mike1955 mike1955 is offline
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Back in February I was matched with a wonderful woman on EH. We began dating and quickly knew that we wanted to be exclusive. We do live 125 miles apart so we only see each other on weekends, but we generally spend the entire weekend together. Last weekend we decided we had come to the point in our relationship that we were ready to make love for the first time. She is 55 and I am 54. She is post monopause by about 4 or 5 years. She is also the first post menopausal partner I have had. Things didn't progress much past finger stimulation because of dryness. Next time we will be better prepared with lube. Are there any other "surprises" that likely may emerge as we progress in this relationship, so I can try to be prepared? I am talking about things like libido and drive, emotions, as well as other physical changes that occur with menopause. We are both looking at this as likely being a LTR, so it is well worth the effort to work through any problems that may arise--I would just like to be somewhat prepared for some of the major ones so I can take them in stride as they come along!!
- June 30th, 2009, 07:53 am
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Mokkesofie Mokkesofie is online now
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The dryness could be due to being post menopausal but it could also be because she was nervous since it was the first time. I'm 56 and I know I was a bit nervous being intimate with a man after my divorce. Having had children and the natural change that time does to your body can make any woman a bit insecure. I went into menopause very early and have taken HRT for ten years now and I don't feel any different sexually than what I did before menopause, I would say on the contrary. If she's against HRT then there are lots of natural products that can help, ask at any health shop.
- June 30th, 2009, 01:31 pm
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55Production 55Production is offline
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This is a woman who has been post menopausal for 5 years or so. SHE might know a little something about her own body. Talk to her. If you can't talk to her you're not really ready to sleep with her! Sex is an intimate experience and the first time is the worst time so talk about this and RELAX with her.
- July 6th, 2009, 04:02 pm
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Skyking6976 Skyking6976 is offline
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I've dealt with this as well. Mine were pre-menopausal. I always had lubricant around...several kinds and flavors to make it interesting.

Sadly, those relationships didn't last. For the pre not post menopausal women I've dated they did lose their sex drive..one completely. I know this is not true for all women going through this phase of life.
- July 7th, 2009, 10:40 am
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yvrs0926 yvrs0926 is offline
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Well I am not post menapausal and do not have the dry thing going on but I agree you need to ask her. However, if you don't get the answer you are looking for she could be like me. I am extremely nervous (even though I do not show it) the first several times I am with a man. I have no problem with anything until it comes to an orgasm. I saw on Oprah recently and I knew this was me, "While men can take about three to five minutes, on average, to achieve an orgasm, it can take women up to 13 minutes. "Foreplay for men is everything that happens about three minutes before sex," Dr. Brizendine says. "Whereas for females, it's everything that happens the 24 hours before sex. Because if she gets upset or angry about something, then she's not in the mood by the time sex is going to happen."

Just thinking about or visualizing sex sends blood rushing to a penis. But it takes much more to put women in the mood. "Temperature and comfort are very important to achieving orgasm," Dr. Brizendine says. "Researchers in the lab found that if they didn't keep the woman's feet warm, they had difficulty reaching climax. So cozy socks may not be sexy, but they get the job done." - from Neuropsychologist Dr. Louann Brizendine - author of The Female Brain

I am totally attracted in every way to the man I am seeing, but we hardly ever see each other. So when we do we don't spend that quality time (flirting, etc.) and we dive right in (due to time constraints) I am physically ready but just not mentally and it doesn't happen.

Hope this helps.
- September 4th, 2009, 01:13 pm
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Robecology Robecology is offline
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Skyking6976 wrote :
I've dealt with this as well. Mine were pre-menopausal. I always had lubricant around...several kinds and flavors to make it interesting.

Sadly, those relationships didn't last. For the pre not post menopausal women I've dated they did lose their sex drive..one completely. I know this is not true for all women going through this phase of life.
I'm in a similar situation to Skyking. Keep the lube around, include lots of oral before and during, and you'll not only lose the lube problem, but gain her pleasure...
and don't forget the post attention...a fresh rinse, a hot towel, and you'll be extending your pleasure -and again, hers as well.
Last edited by Robecology; September 18th, 2009 at 06:20 pm.
- September 18th, 2009, 06:15 pm
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