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notyet notyet is offline
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we are not a church. and if we were, those of us who have volunteered to lead this group would not be qualified for leadership in many congregations. i am divorced. the two other admins are women.

we who are members of this board are a collection of individuals posting various views and opinions about our understanding of christianity on a non-christian website. we are also for the most part a collection of singles looking for mates- which i believe in the end makes all of our motives, and thus posts, suspect.

i have learned over many months that most of us posting here agree on very few things.

but i have also learned that i learn best by communicating with those i disagree with. if i only speak to those who agree with me, or read those papers or watch that television show that i agree with- i never stretch my understanding of any topic.

i want what passes for leadership here to reflect our diversity of opinions. i want the variety of opinions expressed here to have cover. and i want the variety of opinions expressed here to be able to buy into the success of the group. (success being that we have civil discourse, honest debate and encouragement in our profession of faith or struggle with that faith.)

but in regards to "civil discourse", personal attacks will not be tolerated. honest disagreement should be respected and expected. we can and do all have various beliefs about what we collectively call "christianity," but we can discuss our differences civilly. i expect to moderate this group rarely. we are all adults.

i would like to take this opportunity to publicly apologize to any i have offended. i have recently, and probably have been in an ongoing fashion, offended TW. TW, it was not intentionally and i do sincerely apologize. please forgive me for my offense.

in an effort to support our group- your group- i have asked for a few volunteers to serve as administraotrs. i am looking for a diversity of background and belief. again- this is not a church and i am not looking to run it as one- we are not going to find doctrinal purity here. but i do hope we find civil discourse and encouragement.

so toward those ends- rix is one of our new admins. he has been on eha since march of '08 and was posting in this forum when i joined not quite a year ago. i often do not agree with him. but i respect him and his honesty. he has consistently respectfully contributed to the discussions here.

i am hoping to hear back from three others. and if any of the rest here have an opinion as to how best run this place- drop me a line and let me know. i am listed as the owner but it is not my group. i did not create it. it was here when i joined last year and i suspect it will be here long after i stop posting. i am the third owner. but ultimately, it belongs to all of you and to eharmony. it will be here as long as you participate and EH tolerates it. i believe they will as long as we show an interest in our chosen topic and treat each other with respect.

so have fun, good luck in your search. and hopefully, we will see each other on the boards.

alan
Last edited by notyet; October 20th, 2009 at 10:13 pm. Reason: wording...
- October 20th, 2009, 04:50 pm
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coeuri coeuri is offline
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Thank you.
- October 20th, 2009, 08:32 pm
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notyet notyet is offline
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thankfully, both meri and chawks have accepted my offer. i am waiting to hear from one more (a rather radical selection but a needed one-i believe) and whatever your suggestions might be.
- October 21st, 2009, 10:32 pm
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Cloud_Strife Cloud_Strife is offline
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notyet wrote :
i have learned over many months that most of us posting here agree on very few things.

but i have also learned that i learn best by communicating with those i disagree with. if i only speak to those who agree with me, or read those papers or watch that television show that i agree with- i never stretch my understanding of any topic.
I just want to point out that your personal learning style is not one I adhere to.

To suggest that one cannot learn something from someone they agree with is like saying an apprentice cannot learn from his master, a student cannot learn from his mentor.

You don't have to be in contention with someone to learn. In fact I think if you ask most people, it would be their least favorite type of relationship for the process of learning, not their favorite.

I want to suggest that agreement should be sought after and not dismissed as if people in agreement cannot "spur" one another on and learn things from each other.

Of course you have a right to your personal learning style, but I don't think it a learning style that encourages the best environment for learning for the group as a whole.
- October 22nd, 2009, 10:59 am
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dwreese182 dwreese182 is offline
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Cloud_Strife wrote :
I just want to point out that your personal learning style is not one I adhere to.

To suggest that one cannot learn something from someone they agree with is like saying an apprentice cannot learn from his master, a student cannot learn from his mentor.

You don't have to be in contention with someone to learn. In fact I think if you ask most people, it would be their least favorite type of relationship for the process of learning, not their favorite.

I want to suggest that agreement should be sought after and not dismissed as if people in agreement cannot "spur" one another on and learn things from each other.

Of course you have a right to your personal learning style, but I don't think it a learning style that encourages the best environment for learning for the group as a whole.
I did not take that as him suggesting you can't learn from people you agree with. But, I think what he meant, and I'm certainly not putting words into his mouth, is when you close the rest of the world out you are limiting yourself to only your way of life and being completely left in the dark about other cultures, beliefs and life styles, of which there is plenty to learn from. If you close these people out, you cannot do anything but speculate and make assumptions about why people act the way they do and will be left, sadly, a closed minded person. You can only learn so much from books and from other people. To talk to people from different walks of life, and even better to experience it, is true knowledge. I am not that knowledgeable about Christianity as a whole but I would guess that Jesus said somewhere to be open and loving to all people of every walk of life.

I mean no insult whatsoever by these next couple comments. You seem to be only interested in talking to a very select group of people and push away anything that might be out of your "comfort zone". I have no idea how old you are, what your life experiences have been or what your actual personality is, you could have been around the world and back a couple times for all I know, but it seems to me you need to open up a bit. Christianity is only the majority if you group all the sects together, there are about 4 billion other people out there with different beliefs than you and many of them are very fascinating.
Last edited by dwreese182; October 22nd, 2009 at 11:52 am.
- October 22nd, 2009, 11:47 am
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notyet notyet is offline
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Cloud_Strife wrote :
I just want to point out that your personal learning style is not one I adhere to.

To suggest that one cannot learn something from someone they agree with is like saying an apprentice cannot learn from his master, a student cannot learn from his mentor.

You don't have to be in contention with someone to learn. In fact I think if you ask most people, it would be their least favorite type of relationship for the process of learning, not their favorite.

I want to suggest that agreement should be sought after and not dismissed as if people in agreement cannot "spur" one another on and learn things from each other.

Of course you have a right to your personal learning style, but I don't think it a learning style that encourages the best environment for learning for the group as a whole.
you are probably right. your learning style is not the same as mine- which is why i referenced my learning style. i am not an educator. nor am i in anyone else's head. i only know what i know and i know how i learn. which is what i referenced. but i will keep what you have told me in mind.

but please do read what i posted above again. i am not in favor of contention. i am in favor of a variety of opinions stated and hopefully defended. and i am definitely in favor of all of us flexing the muscle between our ears and learning. but contention, anger and personal attacks are out.

here is the thing about learning. if you already know something- you cannot learn it. if i know how to install carpet- you cannot teach me to install carpet. i already know how to do it. but perhaps you have a better technique! if i am not willing to listen to you, you cannot teach me this new technique. i will say- the way i install carpet is good enough. and it may be for me. and it may be that your way is not as good as mine. but unless i listen to you and let you make your presentation- demontration- i will never know which method is best.

to learn, i have to be willing to listen to someone i may think of as valueless. after i hear what you have to say, then i can make my judgement. but i cannot judge what you have to teach until i actually listen to your instruction.

as with all analogies, this one is faulty- do not push it too far. it will fail if carried to the extreme. and i never said learning could not take place from one with whom you agree.


dwreese182 wrote :
I did not take that as him suggesting you can't learn from people you agree with. But, I think what he meant, and I'm certainly not putting words into his mouth, is when you close the rest of the world out you are limiting yourself to only your way of life and being completely left in the dark about other cultures, beliefs and life styles, of which there is plenty to learn from. If you close these people out, you cannot do anything but speculate and make assumptions about why people act the way they do and will be left, sadly, a closed minded person. You can only learn so much from books and from other people. To talk to people from different walks of life, and even better to experience it, is true knowledge...
yes, dwreese, you nicely encapsulated what i intended.

dwreese182 wrote :
...Christianity is only the majority if you group all the sects together...
this goes to my other point about allowing a diversity of opinion. many of these various christian "sects" (to uses dwr's word) would or have disfellowshipped from one another- which is why there are so many christian denominations. as a charismatic, calvinist, post-tribulation rapturist, anti-replacement theologist, anti-dispensationalist i fit in no known denomination. and many have separated fellowship over such beliefs.

but i hold fast to those varied beliefs. had i only continued on in what i had been taught as a child, i would have never progressed in faith and understanding. to clarify, my theology stated above is not my faith. my faith is in my god who saves me now. but my theology is what i believe about how he interacts with me and the world. and had i never listened to those who differed with beliefs i was raised with, i would have never progressed in my understanding of what god has spoken through the bible.

so let everyone post any belief about our shared faith. i trust that truth will out. god's word will stand in the end. i am not afraid of disagreements in interpretation. i am not looking to disfellowship anyone- partly since i know that there are many who would disfellowship me or at least bar me from "church membership" or a teaching/leadership roll. and i believe that every topic is of benefit- even the death of children and where they go when they die- i may very well post there next
Last edited by notyet; October 23rd, 2009 at 03:23 am. Reason: format
- October 22nd, 2009, 03:05 pm
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coeuri coeuri is offline
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I am so glad room is being made for differing beliefs. I have always believed that a God who can create a universe is bigger than any box called a denomination can hold. There is so much richness in the depth of souls.
- October 22nd, 2009, 07:46 pm
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dwreese182 wrote :
I mean no insult whatsoever by these next couple comments. You seem to be only interested in talking to a very select group of people and push away anything that might be out of your "comfort zone".
Far be it from me to want to push away anyone or anything from the love of Jesus Christ our Savior.

No insult taken. Things are not always as they seem. You've known me a very short time and I think you've come to a conclusion about me too fast.

I'm not here to push people away, I'm concerned about the divisive nature of the topics that we've seen come down the line. That's all. This thing between you and me on the wisdom thread is completely different and I wouldn't tie my actions there to my actions in other threads. I have different reasons for both. I'm not trying to force others out, I'm just using the site as I choose to use it... within the constructs set before me by diligent hard working volunteers.
- October 23rd, 2009, 11:20 am
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FaithNGod FaithNGod is offline
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For me differences cause me to get into study and build upon my convictions or allow the spirit of God to correct me in them. I had jehova witness come to my door proclaiming that jesus is A god and not God. That the first chapter of John was not evidence of Jesus being God. In my challenge and study i have come up with a concrete conclusion that has no holes in the FACT that Jesus is God according to the Word of God. I am now better prepared to give an answer to those who would challenge me concerning this and able to encourage those who might be struggling with this and want to believe. This is one form where contention causes further learning.
- October 23rd, 2009, 05:46 pm
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FaithNGod wrote :
For me differences cause me to get into study and build upon my convictions or allow the spirit of God to correct me in them. I had jehova witness come to my door proclaiming that jesus is A god and not God. That the first chapter of John was not evidence of Jesus being God. In my challenge and study i have come up with a concrete conclusion that has no holes in the FACT that Jesus is God according to the Word of God. I am now better prepared to give an answer to those who would challenge me concerning this and able to encourage those who might be struggling with this and want to believe. This is one form where contention causes further learning.
this has been my experience also which is why i am not afraid of various positions being posted here
- October 23rd, 2009, 10:05 pm
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