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scfc scfc is offline
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emanze, wrote :

Hi everyone!


So I met a guy online who was perfect sounding. Everything I like....In his 40's, established in his career with good friends, friendly, positive outlook, a gentleman. And he had a cute bald head!


But on his very first email to me he asked to see more pictures. Not, "Hey, you sound intriguing, I'd like to learn more about you" but can I see more pictures.


I thought that was a little rude. I already have three, very clear pictures up. To me he came across as being very shallow and I was veryput off.


Is this normal? Because it was a definite first for me. Am I being unreasonable?


Thanks
Hi, Emanze:


I had the same situation happened to me, a guy I fairly like and after several email exchanges, he asked to see more pic of me, and I already have a full body pic on the site, he only has a head shot, I felt it was rude and why would he asked for pic after we had talked several times, so I politely say it's making me uncomfortable, he closed communication right there and then. I think some men are just shallow, I understand most people are visual but it's just not worth my time. I say go with your gut feelings, if it doesn't feel right to you, it doesn't feel right to you.
- May 5th, 2009, 09:22 pm
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Bandmate wrote :

emanze, wrote :


Hi everyone!


So I met a guy online who was perfect sounding. Everything I like....In his 40's, established in his career with good friends, friendly, positive outlook, a gentleman. And he had a cute bald head!


But on his very first email to me he asked to see more pictures. Not, "Hey, you sound intriguing, I'd like to learn more about you" but can I see more pictures.


I thought that was a little rude. I already have three, very clear pictures up. To me he came across as being very shallow and I was veryput off.


Is this normal? Because it was a definite first for me. Am I being unreasonable?


Thanks


I have had women do the same thing and i gladly sent them more pictures because i want them to take a good look and see if they find me attractive or not,as a woman you cannot judge what motivates a man.I could have said to myself what right does she have to want more pictures these should be enough,in doing so i am attempting tochoose for her what is enough for her to determine attractivenessand itis not my place to do that so i sent more pictures,we met,went out for awhile and broke up,i guess for other reasons.I suggest that if a man ask for more pictures he may just be trying to decide for himself if he finds you attractive,isn't that honesty ? you can say what he should want,and what he should appreciate,and what he should be looking for all day long...but that's the chance you take with dating...the chance that your and someone elses standards may not line up...and it is always best to find that out sooner than later.
Exactly! I found out he is too shallow for me. He's closed and I'm now moving on to someone with more depth. Thanks for your reply.
- May 5th, 2009, 10:40 pm
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emanze emanze is offline
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scfc wrote :

emanze, wrote :


Hi everyone!


So I met a guy online who was perfect sounding. Everything I like....In his 40's, established in his career with good friends, friendly, positive outlook, a gentleman. And he had a cute bald head!


But on his very first email to me he asked to see more pictures. Not, "Hey, you sound intriguing, I'd like to learn more about you" but can I see more pictures.


I thought that was a little rude. I already have three, very clear pictures up. To me he came across as being very shallow and I was veryput off.


Is this normal? Because it was a definite first for me. Am I being unreasonable?


Thanks


Hi, Emanze:


I had the same situation happened to me, a guy I fairly like and after several email exchanges, he asked to see more pic of me, and I already have a full body pic on the site, he only has a head shot, I felt it was rude and why would he asked for pic after we had talked several times, so I politely say it's making me uncomfortable, he closed communication right there and then. I think some men are just shallow, I understand most people are visual but it's just not worth my time. I say go with your gut feelings, if it doesn't feel right to you, it doesn't feel right to you.
Yea, that's what I'm talking about. You were honest enough to call him on it and he responded by, well,showinghow shallow he reallywas.Doesn't sound like a big loss.


I agree about going with your instinct. It's serving me well so far. Thanks for sharing your experience.





- May 5th, 2009, 10:46 pm
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It could be a number of reasons that he asked for more pictures. Maybe the pics you have posted are not clear;you are with other people and he's trying to figure out which one is you; arethe pics current; etc... It could beany number of things. I agree with Jacquiem. Ask if the pics posted aren't a good enough representation of you.
- May 6th, 2009, 12:05 pm
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GMack wrote :

It could be a number of reasons that he asked for more pictures. Maybe the pics you have posted are not clear;you are with other people and he's trying to figure out which one is you; arethe pics current; etc... It could beany number of things. I agree with Jacquiem. Ask if the pics posted aren't a good enough representation of you.
Yup,totally get that. I've seen profile pictures of people with babies when they aren't their children (just confusing). Or with women hugging them (which were, often, their ex's). Or fuzzy, or from 20 years and 20 pounds ago.


Mine aren't. They arethree clear shots of me.


And, really, how would a stranger know if they are a good enough representation of me???Maybe if I sent a picture of my cleavage, then hemight make the date???
- May 6th, 2009, 04:24 pm
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GMack wrote :

It could be a number of reasons that he asked for more pictures. Maybe the pics you have posted are not clear;you are with other people and he's trying to figure out which one is you; arethe pics current; etc... It could beany number of things. I agree with Jacquiem. Ask if the pics posted aren't a good enough representation of you.
That would be the considerate thing to do,however when you feel that not only do you have the right to determine the standards of attraction for your self but have the right to determine them for others as well the thought never crosses your mind,you run the show and the other person is just a bit part player.
- May 9th, 2009, 05:36 am
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damyankee damyankee is offline
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emanze wrote :

MazarineSunset wrote :


I'm very honest and blunt, usually.


I would ask him WHY does he want more photos? photos of what? What is he looking for? If he wants to see me in daily life, doing my hobbies, with my dog, etc to get a feel for my personality, fine. I'll get/ take more photos and post them. But I will also ask the same of him.


Why not offer to exchange a photo for a photo? he sends one, you send one? communication, by e-mail or photo, is a two-way street.


If he's looking for a particular shape and size - he can go buy a mannequin. I'm not a model, and I won't / don't want to be one. I haven't seen a 'model' male specimen in my age bracket on here and I'm not looking for one. If he IS looking for a model, then I'm not wasting my time. (which is one reason I dropped my EH membership. Not one ever got past questions to real communication - so I stopped wasting my time & $$).


And I won't buy stories of "I have no one to take photos', I don't have a camera', etc. These days you can pick up a digital camera for less than 1 month's membership to EH - not to mention camera phones, etc. If you're going to E-date, you must e-communicate! Including photos of YOU living life.








Nah, I can't do that. Pictures of me in my daily life would be ofme sitting at a computer. Not very alluring.


Just no way. Itreeks of shallowness. People usually tell me my photo's don't do my justice (thank God) so that's a relief. But, even still, it's just a photo. As you said, if he wants to date a mannequin, go buy one.


I'm looking for a human being, icky faults and all. Finding a man mature enough that feels that way isthechallenge.


Oh, andI like that you say it like it is. It's a relief in the dating world where noone does that!
I agree that asking for alot of pics is shallow and sounds like he is very superficial. It's like everything else goes out the window if you are not a particular size, shape, hair color etc. Seems there are alot of men in eH as well as other sites that base way too much importance on your beauty, appearance, shape. There has to be an attraction, yes, but how about meeting the PERSON inside the body also, and lots of times, the attraction grows from there. I mostly eliminate men who start that with me and meet the ones who are interested in ME.........the outside is a shell and looks fade, personality and what's inside is what's left in the long run.They will never know what they missed. LOL
- May 9th, 2009, 11:41 am
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damyankee wrote :


emanze wrote :


MazarineSunset wrote :


I'm very honest and blunt, usually.


I would ask him WHY does he want more photos? photos of what? What is he looking for? If he wants to see me in daily life, doing my hobbies, with my dog, etc to get a feel for my personality, fine. I'll get/ take more photos and post them. But I will also ask the same of him.


Why not offer to exchange a photo for a photo? he sends one, you send one? communication, by e-mail or photo, is a two-way street.


If he's looking for a particular shape and size - he can go buy a mannequin. I'm not a model, and I won't / don't want to be one. I haven't seen a 'model' male specimen in my age bracket on here and I'm not looking for one. If he IS looking for a model, then I'm not wasting my time. (which is one reason I dropped my EH membership. Not one ever got past questions to real communication - so I stopped wasting my time & $$).


And I won't buy stories of "I have no one to take photos', I don't have a camera', etc. These days you can pick up a digital camera for less than 1 month's membership to EH - not to mention camera phones, etc. If you're going to E-date, you must e-communicate! Including photos of YOU living life.








Nah, I can't do that. Pictures of me in my daily life would be ofme sitting at a computer. Not very alluring.


Just no way. Itreeks of shallowness. People usually tell me my photo's don't do my justice (thank God) so that's a relief. But, even still, it's just a photo. As you said, if he wants to date a mannequin, go buy one.


I'm looking for a human being, icky faults and all. Finding a man mature enough that feels that way isthechallenge.


Oh, andI like that you say it like it is. It's a relief in the dating world where noone does that!


I agree that asking for alot of pics is shallow and sounds like he is very superficial. It's like everything else goes out the window if you are not a particular size, shape, hair color etc. Seems there are alot of men in eH as well as other sites that base way too much importance on your beauty, appearance, shape. There has to be an attraction, yes, but how about meeting the PERSON inside the body also, and lots of times, the attraction grows from there. I mostly eliminate men who start that with me and meet the ones who are interested in ME.........the outside is a shell and looks fade, personality and what's inside is what's left in the long run.They will never know what they missed. LOL


What does a man"miss" when he is not with a woman he has no attraction for,you say there must be attraction but don't seem to be willing to accept other people's definitions of what it is
- May 9th, 2009, 05:53 pm
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stevenvictx stevenvictx is offline
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If your pics are clear and full body, I cant see why someone would want more, unless that some sort of code for pics with more skin in them.





Your right, thats a big red flag if it happened to me.
- May 12th, 2009, 04:25 pm
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damyankee damyankee is offline
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Bandmate wrote :

damyankee wrote :


emanze wrote :


MazarineSunset wrote :


I'm very honest and blunt, usually.


I would ask him WHY does he want more photos? photos of what? What is he looking for? If he wants to see me in daily life, doing my hobbies, with my dog, etc to get a feel for my personality, fine. I'll get/ take more photos and post them. But I will also ask the same of him.


Why not offer to exchange a photo for a photo? he sends one, you send one? communication, by e-mail or photo, is a two-way street.


If he's looking for a particular shape and size - he can go buy a mannequin. I'm not a model, and I won't / don't want to be one. I haven't seen a 'model' male specimen in my age bracket on here and I'm not looking for one. If he IS looking for a model, then I'm not wasting my time. (which is one reason I dropped my EH membership. Not one ever got past questions to real communication - so I stopped wasting my time & $$).


And I won't buy stories of "I have no one to take photos', I don't have a camera', etc. These days you can pick up a digital camera for less than 1 month's membership to EH - not to mention camera phones, etc. If you're going to E-date, you must e-communicate! Including photos of YOU living life.








Nah, I can't do that. Pictures of me in my daily life would be ofme sitting at a computer. Not very alluring.


Just no way. Itreeks of shallowness. People usually tell me my photo's don't do my justice (thank God) so that's a relief. But, even still, it's just a photo. As you said, if he wants to date a mannequin, go buy one.


I'm looking for a human being, icky faults and all. Finding a man mature enough that feels that way isthechallenge.


Oh, andI like that you say it like it is. It's a relief in the dating world where noone does that!


I agree that asking for alot of pics is shallow and sounds like he is very superficial. It's like everything else goes out the window if you are not a particular size, shape, hair color etc. Seems there are alot of men in eH as well as other sites that base way too much importance on your beauty, appearance, shape. There has to be an attraction, yes, but how about meeting the PERSON inside the body also, and lots of times, the attraction grows from there. I mostly eliminate men who start that with me and meet the ones who are interested in ME.........the outside is a shell and looks fade, personality and what's inside is what's left in the long run.They will never know what they missed. LOL


What does a man"miss" when he is not with a woman he has no attraction for,you say there must be attraction but don't seem to be willing to accept other people's definitions of what it is
Just because a person doesn't post a picture, it does not mean they are hiding anything. Maybe don't have recent pics or whatever...................the issue is this person is seeing a picture(s) and insisting on seeing MORE..........WHY????? If how she looks is THE most important thing for this guy, then he is superfiscal................MY OPINION ONLY. Everyone is entitled to one.
- May 12th, 2009, 04:41 pm
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