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AnthonyTh AnthonyTh is offline
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The simple answer is.... there's no 100% absolute loyalty... but sure we can keep up the balance between our partners... and stay healthy in our relationships...

- November 18th, 2009, 09:53 pm
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Cimaronna Cimaronna is offline
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I agree that communication is the key. If you and your significant other have agreed to be exclusive, then you should already know by then the expectations for the relationship. If you do not, it is way past time to get all of this out front. What constitutes cheating should be among the first things discussed during dating.

In my case, most of my friends are men. I do not have physical relations with any of these men. We are exactly that; friends. When I date, this is among the first things made known to my new man. If he is not alright with this, I end things. I have no desire to waste a lot of time dealing with unfounded jealousy, or defending the fact that I have and always will get along better with men than women. Last but certainly not least, it also is not fair to the new man to be expected to deal with something with which he is not comfortable. It's always better to end things than to hurt someone, in my opinion.

I completely agree that expectations are unique for every couple because each one is different. Some are comfortable with seeing others on the side. Others are not. This should be defined from the start to avoid hurt feelings for either partner. Why cause pain if it can be avoided? Life is too short for that!
- November 20th, 2009, 11:45 pm
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iRegaliantBoho iRegaliantBoho is offline
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iRegaliantBoho is finding out more and more how Love is on life-support. Le Sigh.

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Cimaronna wrote :

In my case, most of my friends are men. I do not have physical relations with any of these men. We are exactly that; friends. When I date, this is among the first things made known to my new man. If he is not alright with this, I end things. I have no desire to waste a lot of time dealing with unfounded jealousy, or defending the fact that I have and always will get along better with men than women. Last but certainly not least, it also is not fair to the new man to be expected to deal with something with which he is not comfortable. It's always better to end things than to hurt someone, in my opinion.

I don't think its about defending, but explaining why you do get along better with males rather than females.

a lot of [smart] fellows look at a female with mainly male friends and assume she's got the mentality of a male.

And sadly, the [smart] fellows know that most of our penis-wielding counterparts are at least one of the following:
quick to wrath, impatient, insensitive, EQ-challenged, cocky, disloyal, dild*s.

Its not about jealousy, obviously. I'm eating the meal, so why would I worry about the guy outside the restaurant window ogling?

I'd say its about a wariness that is twofold:

1) Worrying whether she favors friendships with males because lacks the propensity to toggle the tenderness, sensitivity, and understanding that is vital to balance a relationship--why heterosexual men actually tend to date women (and not other men).

2) Worrying that she's just friends with a lot of guys she unwittingly, or purposefully put in the "friend zone"--which to a lot of [not-so-smart] guys means to wait on the back-burner...

I can't say it doesn't ever pay off, either...the chance for them could be being at the right place at the right time, point blank. One-two many drinks or a rut in the relationship (as women tend to cheat for emotional reasons). hell, some gals, when they get hormonal can blow the smallest thing into a reason to use her "spite infidelity card" and even feel no guilt or regret.

To quote a female private investigator:
"Women cheat just as much as men, if not more. They are just better at getting away with it."
- November 25th, 2009, 04:32 pm
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rix rix is offline
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What counts as cheating?... Coitus noninterruptus!

- November 26th, 2009, 05:54 am
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dnnmllr dnnmllr is offline
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dnnmllr "Steady my feet in accord with your promise, Let not iniquity lead me"...

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solarpoolwoman wrote :
Well, you gotta be sure of your feelings to avoid getting hurt and hurting somebody else's feelings.
Question = What Counts as Cheating?
Answer = see following definition
Main Entry: 1cheat Pronunciation: \ˈchēt\ Function: verb
Etymology: 2cheat Date: 1590 transitive verb
1 : to deprive of something valuable by the use of deceit or fraud
2 : to influence or lead by deceit, trick, or artifice
3 : to elude or thwart by or as if by outwitting <cheat death>intransitive verb 1 a : to practice fraud or trickery b : to violate rules dishonestly ing on a test>
2 : to be sexually unfaithful —usually used with on ing on his wife>
3 : to position oneself defensively near a particular area in anticipation of a play in that area shortstop was cheating toward second base>
— cheat·er noun synonyms cheat, cozen, defraud, swindle mean to get something by dishonesty or deception. cheat suggests using trickery that escapes observation <cheated me out of a dollar>. cozen implies artful persuading or flattering to attain a thing or a purpose cozen her grandfather out of a few dollars>. defraud stresses depriving one of his or her rights and usually connotes deliberate perversion of the truth <defrauded of her inheritance by an unscrupulous lawyer>. swindle implies large-scale cheating by misrepresentation or abuse of confidence <swindled of their savings by con artists>.

I wish you well.
- November 27th, 2009, 12:25 pm
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