Young, and I mean young, widow

However I might twist it, I'm really glad you do laugh.
When I was widowed at 19 and widowed again at 45, it was hard to resurrect but humor served me well, and continues to.

People do fear their own mortality, but you know, many also fear day to day life - it's very, very common. In fact, our societies are rift with ignorance and avoidance, not to mention long gauntlets of "must have's" before most will even imagine creating a pleasant time. And that is my point: widowed young or widowed grown, it is important to constructively build your life.

Because you have extraordinary life experience, you may find that you have the greater vision than your counterparts. When one can see further on the horizon (to the unspeakable) one can also, sometimes, learn to notice openings to common ground. Even those without loss may (turn out to be) as life-understanding, life-tolerant as yourself. I encourage you to go ahead and go out, build your own tolerance of those with less knowledge and continue to develop your sense of humor.

How much do you tell them? Well, it's easy to post that you are a single mother (let the chips fall as they may) but off-line, in person, I'm of the opinion that exposure is earned. Yes, I believe that before a man gains entry to my home he should know I have children. But then again by that time he should also have displayed intelligence, significant interest in me as a fellow human rather than a service and other worthiness (laughter), but it doesn't mean we can't say hello. There may be times when it is worthwhile to just allow a gent to expose his own depths of maturity. If it's swimable and with experience, you'll soon judge when to mention your life responsibilities, which is what they are. As far as telling how you earned that position, well - explain or don't explain, some wifty-heads won't get it anyway. Say what YOU want or just excuse yourself when you need to attend to the kids, just as you would with any other unequivical responsibility. If he expects you to abdicate such things, or he doesn't take care of his accountabilities, I kind of doubt you'd be interested in him very long (rather than it being the other way around). Being young is not too young to be a grown-up.

I tend to think of my own life's survivorships as part of the fabric of my humor - yes, my sense of humor. You see, I'm a "lifer", my re-up stripes run far up my sleeve, however tough it is to (be a) survivor, I'm in life for the long haul. My tolerance and occasional weariness of the uninitiated is not lost on others who have emotional depth. I've had AMAZING interchanges, friendships, relationships with men who have picked me out of the crowd, enjoying my contributions, my reservations, my talents, my tolerances, my well-earned smile, or the fact that I'm simply in existance. We'd connect over our enjoyments or in our capacities. These, quite interesting people, took poignant pleasure in the discovery and seriously, my young widowed friend, good men on the planet are legion. I mean, there are a lot of them. It wasn't some laundry list of perfections, we just noticed one another.

Do you have responsibilities? yes.
Have you had depth of experience? yes
Is this useful at a young age? well, I don't mean to offend at such a profound searing and ultimate loss of ignorance, but is intelligent self-awareness useful? - yes.
Will interesting, provocative men find a responsible, experienced, intelligent woman attractive? (laughter) - oh yes. Will you also have to stand on your own? yes to that too.

Take it from an old broad who has been there.
Choose life: take care of that kid, and from time to time
get a sitter, go out - bring your patience, build some joy.
Good luck to you