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40 Something Will someone please tell those kids in the thirty somethings group to stop partying and to please quiet down? Thank you! :P

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ohseejane ohseejane is offline
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I'm overweight (250 pounds) but haven't put anything in my profile about exercising (ten minutes of walking a day and occasional trips to the pool) or about how I want to lose weight because it may just seem pathetic. I would be willing to go lift weights or hiking or play golf if I was asked to go along. Up to now I have been fairly sedentary, but I would like to do more. I'm not a BBW and proud of it--I'm a BBW and concerned about my health. But I don't know how or if I should say that in my profile. I'd love to have a man's opinion on this or hear from some women who have worked through a similar problem.
- July 29th, 2009, 01:37 am
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Icouldwriteabook Icouldwriteabook is offline
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You might want to mention that you are "active" and maybe list some of your activities. If you don't currently have any physical activities but would like to do things with someone you might say something like "I really would like to find a partner to get out and do physical things with such as hiking, working out, etc.
That way that give them the idea that even if you are overweight you are not a couch potato.

Don't mention how you want to lose weight (maybe in the first conversation or two but not on the profile) because while 'pathetic' might not be the correct word but I am sure there are plenty of people who are "gonna lose the weight" that never do so it may not be believable.

How many of us have bought or kept a too small article of clothing because we are "gonna lose weight"?

I totally understand where you are coming from because I was married to someone who was very sedentary and never wanted to do anything with me so I became that way myself (I take accountability for it too).
Now I have also had a lot of first or second dates and it seems to be dinner so often and not physical activities so I was still not active. I wasn't progressing to the point of doing physical stuff with the guys yet.

So, while I like going out to dinner I was still feeling very sedentary so I one, have joined a gym (still sporadic at attending it) but also joined some local hiking groups. So I now have been out on several hikes, gotten some great exercise and met new friends too! Check out Meetup. com. I don't know what they have to offer in your area but it is great for social groups too.

Another issue I have is that I tend to prefer men on the slimmer side even though I am not so that limits me somewhat and yes, a lot of slim people think that heavier people are not active or don't want to be and that can be very far from the truth.

Hope this helps. Good luck to you.

P.S. You might want to move this post to "Ask a Guy". You will probably get more responses.
- July 29th, 2009, 07:45 pm
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melman melman is offline
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One big problem with most of the matches that I've communicated with, is that they list hobbies and interests in their profiles that are either completely false, or are actually more of a "wish list".

Time and again I've seen profiles with an apparent mutual interest, I'll ask about it, to try to get the conversation going, and the reply is "well, I'm not really too interested in that" or "yeah, I really ought to get started on that". As if she's waiting for a match to come along and change her life to something that she perceives to be better. I have no time for that. I'm not looking to create a life for someone.

So if, for example, you are heavy, and you say you're interested in fitness and exercise, you'd better be prepared to back it up. Get started on a program of your own and be ready to talk about it. Do some basic reading and get going!
- August 7th, 2009, 09:52 am
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Ziterrious Ziterrious is offline
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ohseejane wrote :
I'm overweight (250 pounds) but haven't put anything in my profile about exercising (ten minutes of walking a day and occasional trips to the pool) or about how I want to lose weight because it may just seem pathetic. I would be willing to go lift weights or hiking or play golf if I was asked to go along. Up to now I have been fairly sedentary, but I would like to do more. I'm not a BBW and proud of it--I'm a BBW and concerned about my health. But I don't know how or if I should say that in my profile. I'd love to have a man's opinion on this or hear from some women who have worked through a similar problem.
Well I'm a guy and here is my opinion for what its worth.

Do NOT put anything in your profile that is NOT true, that's just wrong.

If your willing to do those activities you mentioned then go try them like Icouldwriteabook said. What's that saying..."just do it" But don't go do it just to impress your profile up abit, do it because it makes you feel good and you like doing them.

If you feel the need to mention in your profile that you need a nudge to get going well keep it positive like,
I would love to try new and different physical activates, such as hiking, canoing. biking, (or whatever you can think of here) just send me an invite.

and final note is .... BE HAPPY with you and with who you are the rest will fall in place.
- August 13th, 2009, 04:11 pm
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melman melman is offline
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But please, please have activities and interests of your own. Don't just talk about things that you want to do.
- August 13th, 2009, 08:23 pm
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ohseejane wrote :
I would be willing to go lift weights or hiking or play golf if I was asked to go along. Up to now I have been fairly sedentary, but I would like to do more. I'm not a BBW and proud of it--I'm a BBW and concerned about my health.
I would say exactly what you just said... it's completely NOT pathetic.. it's honest and grounded and respectable.
- December 18th, 2009, 05:29 pm
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