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40 Something Will someone please tell those kids in the thirty somethings group to stop partying and to please quiet down? Thank you! :P

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Harlequin Harlequin is offline
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Has anyone else hear of the "Lagos Nigeria Romance Scam"? Well I have...heres how it goes...these people (jerks actually!) cruise the internet dating sites, like eHarmony, Yahoo, Live, Match.com...and pay for the memberships with stolen credit card info. They find a target and initiate a contact with someone on one of the sites and once they think they have a victim, they romove their profile from the sites. They use stolen pictures from other websites (think facebook/myspace). They will "groom" a prospective love interest with letters, poems and promises of undying love...and then spring it on you. They traveled out of the country to Lagos, Nigeria and had a credit card frozen or stolen, they were arrested, or someone was hurt and ask you for money. I read while doing the research for this that on average 75% of the dating sites have bogus profiles...I would actually like to know the real number, it kinda sounds high. The reason I know this is because I had a free profile on Yahoo on a whim before coming over to eHarmony and was contacted by one of these con artists. After doing my own research on the phone numbers he gave me, physical addresses and doing a check on the IP address of all his texts and emails...I soon found out the truth, he even asked me for money...yeah right, like I'm going to send some stranger I have never met 2000 for a plane ticket.

Everyone please be on your guard...if in doubt about the origination of an email..you can go online and just do a check by "IP" and it will give you the country of origin for it.
- July 10th, 2009, 04:20 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline
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Dear Harlequin,

Very sorry you had this experience with someone you met on another site. Now that you are on eHarmony, I want to let you know that we do our best to identify and close individuals who misprepresent themselves on our site. However, whether you meet someone online or off, you must use your sound judgement and instincts to evaluate each person's character and intentions.

To help members have a safe and successful eHarmony experience, we provide our Safety Tips, http://www.eharmony.com/safety/tips. These tips can help members identify matches who may not be using our site appropriately and advise members not to hesitate to e-mail their concerns to matchconcerns@eharmony.com.

I hope you will not feel the need to report any of your eHarmony matches; however, should you have concerns of any kind, please report your concerns immediately. We take all such reports seriously, and our Risk Management team will follow-up with you as they investigate and appropriately handle the situation.

All the best,

-Renee
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Last edited by eH_Advice_Host_Renee; July 11th, 2009 at 03:51 pm.
- July 11th, 2009, 03:49 pm
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dixielee dixielee is offline
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Thanks for the great advice! What are some of the resources you used to check addresses and the IP address? I'm just not that computer literate!
I personally haven't come across this particular scam, but know it is alive and well out there. I'd just add, beware of anyone who comes on too strong, is too demanding or anyone who asks you for money. No matter how careful a particular dating sight is, there is always someone who will slip in for the purpose of picking up a person to cheat, harm or steal from.
Good luck out there in dating land!
- July 12th, 2009, 04:44 am
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Bree2009 Bree2009 is offline
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What do you mean check by IP? Curious. I have had several bad and creepy experiences with men so I would love to hear more. One example was a man who was on a site (not eh) and had 3 profiles with different names, hobbies, birthdates, etc. I called him on it and never heard from him again. Another time I was supposed to meet a man out and decided to google his email name and found him on multiple dirty sex sites. Other times, I found out men were really married. It is such a disappointment so girls don't get your hopes up when you first see a profile and the man sounds perfect......Now I am sure this goes for women too but I can only talk about men. Looking forward to hearing about this IP address thing. Thanks.
- July 14th, 2009, 08:22 pm
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QuietGuyInTheCorner QuietGuyInTheCorner is offline
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When you receive an email, you SHOULD be able to look at "complete headers" for it - you will see a section on smtp relays, listed in reverse order ( YOUR server is listed first ).. Most of these will be listed by name.
I use a free-ware program called "sam spade" to do all my name and IP research. It will report where the name (or ip) originates, who owns it, etc. If any of the smtp relays (especially the last one listed ) is just a number ... BEWARE!

The other side of this is that you won't ALWAYs get usable information - for example, anyone using Yahoo! mail will have an smtp that originates in California, no matter where in the world they sent it from.
Last edited by QuietGuyInTheCorner; July 16th, 2009 at 12:47 am.
- July 16th, 2009, 12:45 am
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ErikaD ErikaD is offline
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Dear all,

I am so sorry about my english - I am from Lithuania. But my experience in eharmony with scammer was very icky. One man start very fast relationships - he asked about my email, after we start comunicating on gmail, and every day he write me how much he loves me and how much I done for him My letters was very gingerly, but he wrote words like from songs. After he asked about one thing - have I saw how looks american,s passport. Of course I was not. After he send for me his passport copy, and ask of mine - he want to start things about my legalize in USA.After he said he recieve a contract in Nigeria and he need money for his manager there. Of course he asked my help. So... All his documents and photos I had send to my friend in USA (she is lithuanian)and ask her about all this muck. And thanks for her my hunch was right - passport was not original, pics - from internet, certificate about his works - from India, numbers of his cars and location where he live - not same...And all letters from a site Love letters. After my friend send for me good page Emails from scammers & deceptive emails and I understand this way of scammers. I had not send my passport and money for him, of course. But my first contact was a sharp sense of disappoinment.
- July 18th, 2009, 09:22 am
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chawks64 chawks64 is online now
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chawks64 can finally put country music back n the lineup again.

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The fact that I have no excess money (and have a rule against giving it to potential mates anyway) tends to make the scammers run for the hills.

To every cloud there is a silver lining...
- July 18th, 2009, 04:17 pm
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sprklnbliz sprklnbliz is offline
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I have had several guys try this scam. None were on this site. There are varied accounts but it is absolutely ridiculous. It makes you question and doubt everyone that you talk with. If I start communicating with anyone and they say they are out of the country I do not communicate further.
- July 18th, 2009, 06:11 pm
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Portland_Princess Portland_Princess is offline
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Portland_Princess No longer shopping from the clearance rack of men!

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I have had really bad luck with eHarmony. The first guy I met (fortunately never in person but via email and Skype) was a scammer (fortunately I figured it out before he got a penny from me. He was dumb enough to claim he was from the same city I was from and some of the things he said didn't add up. Then he had to work "off shore" on an oil rig but also didn't realize my ex husband did research for the EU on the exact same rig he claimed to work on. He claimed his daughter was in a boarding school in Nigeria and had a problem with getting back into the country (I lived as an expat for nearly 20 years and knew that was a crock of ***). I reported him to eHarmony and his account was closed. Later on, I researched his name and found out that he was using someone else's photograph, as well as a "daughter" that he had found her photo online.
Then I met a charmer who is to date MIA. LOL I thought since he was in Portland, at least he was semi local! Joke was on me!
It's not eHarmony, it's me (I've got to start listening to my inner voice that tells me when something is too good to be true, it is). And that's the problem with these scammers too. If something is too good to be true, it probably is (and for some reason with online relationships, some of us tend to suspend reality in hopes of meeting "the one" and that lets scammers and abusers and players have abundant pickings online.
- July 24th, 2009, 09:12 pm
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eH_Advice_Host_Renee eH_Advice_Host_Renee is offline
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Dear Portland_Princess and Everyone,

I am sorry to hear that you've had these experiences with eHarmony matches. However, I am very glad that you saw through the first match and reported his behavior to us!

Regarding the second match, our Safety Tips echo your comments about listening to your inner voice when someone seems too good to be true. As mentioned in my previous post, our these Tips encourage members to use your "sound judgment and instincts to evaluate each person's character and intentions." Because we know that it is easy (and normal) to get excited about a match whom you think is really terrific, our Tips warn members not to let your "high hopes cloud your ability to exercise reasonable caution."

As you get to know your matches, I always think it can't hurt to review our Safety Tips from to time to time. Being encouraged to listen to your instincts and being reminded of the type of behavior you should be wary of -- along with all the other Tips, will truly help you have a safe and secure eHarmony experience.

Our Safety Tips are always available at the bottom of all our site pages, or you can click here:
http://www.eharmony.com/safety/tips

All the best,

-Renee
eHarmony Advice Host

p.s. just wanted to remind everyone that our tips also provide suggestion on how to research a match.
- July 25th, 2009, 06:19 pm
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