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40 Something Will someone please tell those kids in the thirty somethings group to stop partying and to please quiet down? Thank you! :P

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sundaegirl1967 sundaegirl1967 is offline
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sundaegirl1967 is putting another log on the fire...damn it's nippy.

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Absolutely, the man needs to make the first move.
- October 20th, 2008, 02:32 am
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luckysunday luckysunday is offline
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zenmerlin, wrote :

I am posting this here because I am interested in what people in this age group think.

I tend to be somewhat shy; I tend to be a good listener. Ok here it is we are at an online dating site I’m not sure what the rules are. Personally I would be very flattered and open to have a woman take some interest in me and start the ball rolling.

So I am wondering do women feel comfortable taking the first step?

As I was writing this I had the idea that I am shy, my match is shy how will we ever meet??????

Cupid help, please intervene.

If I really like someones profile, I would do the first move. I think, that you can always wingetting to know someone, even if it's not a "match". ( like there is nothing wrong with your profile, so I probably would contact you first). If I feel the guy has really high expectations or is totally into sports (or something else) and I am not, I see if he contacts me first, because I would like to know if someone could picture himself with a partner who is different from his expectations. If people don't do anything for a few weeks, I might send an icebreaker. If their profile contains only minimal information, I wait , too, to see if they are actual able to talk more. If they don't respond, I close them- no point in keeping a long list.


Just remember- what do you have to loose? Life is all about relationship to people.
- October 20th, 2008, 08:01 pm
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txgrl63 txgrl63 is offline
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zana wrote :

My response was for real life...


On the net, I have no problem making the first move... as Peg099 says -- you have nothing to lose anyway, as you dont really know the person and they dont know you... the rejection isnt so bad as it is in real life :P
I guess I am in the minority too. I have no problem initiating contact on Eharmony. If I think a match is someone I might be interested in I am not going to sit there and hope they notice me first. I am paying for my account and what is the worst thing that could happen? They close you out or ignore you. Big deal!


In real life there is no way I would make the first move!
- October 21st, 2008, 10:10 am
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I am in the definite minority...I would make the first move on a dating site (I paid money, too), and I would make the first move in "real life." However, only doing the latter if I had a clear indication there was a good chance (have I caught him staring at me several times).
- October 22nd, 2008, 02:22 am
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PhilWoch PhilWoch is offline
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On eHarmony I am flattered when she makes the first move. In real life I need to be the one to make it. That's one reason I've never dated.
- October 22nd, 2008, 04:18 am
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I'd like to think it didn't matter. but since I don't move, and neither do they, the line is unchanged. I think it is more apathy on my part.
- October 22nd, 2008, 01:04 pm
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I think everyone likes for someone to be interested enough to initiate contact. Some men have posted that they want a woman to initiate so that they know she's interested; and some women post that they will NOT initiate. So, how are they supposed to meet?


I initiated all but about 5 times on eHarmony; never met anyone in person in 3 months. On another site, several men contacted me first, and I've met 3 of them in about a month. I personally feel fine with initiating, and probably wouldn't be interested in a man if that bothered him, but we all need to do what's comfortable for us.


In real life, I asked a coworker with whom I had been chatting for a couple of months if he wanted to go to a movie (just friendly-like), and he stopped talking to me for SIX WEEKS!! A year later he said that he didn't like "pushy women." So I guess you ask at your own risk! (Of course, that's always true.) That guy and I are actually pretty good friends, now.
- October 22nd, 2008, 11:04 pm
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I have a hard time initiating comunication as well, but if we both sit there and are interested in each other, and we are both afraid that the other one might not be interested, how are we suppsed to get to know each other if one of us doesn't step up to the plate and say something?
- October 24th, 2008, 11:46 pm
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JewelinHiscrown JewelinHiscrown is offline
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zenmerlin, wrote :

I am posting this here because I am interested in what people in this age group think.

I tend to be somewhat shy; I tend to be a good listener. Ok here it is we are at an online dating site I’m not sure what the rules are. Personally I would be very flattered and open to have a woman take some interest in me and start the ball rolling.

So I am wondering do women feel comfortable taking the first step?

As I was writing this I had the idea that I am shy, my match is shy how will we ever meet??????

Cupid help, please intervene.

LOL!- welcome to the group, and, the 'odds' are in your favor zenmerlin, there are at LEAST twice as many women on here then men, however, I have met (literally also) a 'shy guy" from the chat room....he had posted a topic not even related to relationships, but that of past experiences in the armed services, I responded to his post, and, lets say, the rest, is 'history'....its actually when you STOP 'looking' that you 'find'...I always HATED hearing that, but, ironically, its very true....Far and I have been with each other now for 3 months and even though we live 5 hours away from each othr, things are awsome.....being 'shy' can be enduring, and I'm sure there is a woman who will bring you out of your 'shell' as well.... not sure about all the woman 'talkers' on this board that will compensate for your lack of conversation, but there certainly are a lot of woman who have OPINIONS here...LOL- good luck, and have FUN!!!!
- October 25th, 2008, 03:12 pm
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DeborahRNinSC DeborahRNinSC is offline
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With me, absolutely! I want a man who is attracted to me and has enough courage to initiate contact with me. I'm not afraid to approach a man but have learned that things go much smoother if it's his idea. Just my opinion!
- November 18th, 2008, 10:36 am
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