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gizz104 gizz104 is offline
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sorry guys Im sure this has been done a million times..heres to a million and one. Anyways, so I am 21 and a single mom to the most beautiful eleven month old little girl. I understand that MOST men my age or close to it do not not neccessarily want someone who has a child. Personally, I am looking for a long term relationship which is why I am here. Like a lot of you I am not into the club/bar scene. I am not here looking for a daddy for her, wait a sec..I dont exactly know how to describe it. I mean Im not here to find someone soley because I do not want to be a single parent. I prefer real relationships as opposed to flings, and am looking for that "special someone". So personally if I started dating someone it would be quite sometime before they were even introduced to my daughter. Right now I am not a paying memeber because I am not really sure if it is worth it. I mean what if everyone is driven away by the fact that I have a child. Anyways, now that this has dragged on forever. Would you, personally, date someone with a child, or would you be willing to build a longterm relationship(given that you were both interested). Any single parents feel free to share your experiences in the world of love.
Last edited by gizz104; July 27th, 2009 at 06:19 pm.
- July 27th, 2009, 02:57 am
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stevex stevex is online now
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As a 21 year old guy I have gone back and forth on this topic. Originally I would have said, no, kids were a deal breaker. I than begin to wonder if perhaps I was giving up the chance to me with a great person because she might have children from a previous relationship. So my current philosophy is that her having children won't stop me from communicating with her or perhaps going out wit her and seeing if there is chemistry.

Now it would be a definite if her desire was to find a father for the baby, as some women are indeed looking for that. While if the relationship worked out I would gladly accept the duties of a stepdad if the situation was to arise; however, if there was any indication that she was looking for that right away I would likely be very turned off by it.
- July 27th, 2009, 04:44 am
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gizz104 gizz104 is offline
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stevex wrote :
As a 21 year old guy I have gone back and forth on this topic. Originally I would have said, no, kids were a deal breaker. I than begin to wonder if perhaps I was giving up the chance to me with a great person because she might have children from a previous relationship. So my current philosophy is that her having children won't stop me from communicating with her or perhaps going out wit her and seeing if there is chemistry.

Now it would be a definite no if her desire was to find a father for the baby, as some women are indeed looking for that. While if the relationship worked out I would gladly accept the duties of a stepdad if the situation was to arise; however, if there was any indication that she was looking for that right away I would likely be very turned off by it.

You basically explained what I was tried to explain, but made it much more understandable. Like I said I am not looking for a father for her, but if the relationship progressed to marriage I would expect him to take on the role of stepfather. Nicely put, thank you. I am wanting a serious relationship, but it would be quite sometime before the two where even introduced because I do not want to bring people in and out of her life, and I would not want to introduce them with the impression that she was now his responsibility also.
- July 27th, 2009, 06:18 pm
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gizz104 wrote :
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You basically explained what I was tried to explain, but made it much more understandable. Like I said I am not looking for a father for her, but if the relationship progressed to marriage I would expect him to take on the role of stepfather. Nicely put, thank you. I am wanting a serious relationship, but it would be quite sometime before the two where even introduced because I do not want to bring people in and out of her life, and I would not want to introduce them with the impression that she was now his responsibility also.
With your response it appears that you have a good head on your shoulder and that there would be a lot guys that would be okay with the fact that you have a child. if you haven't yet gotten on eHarmony I highly suggest it and you are surely to find a guy that will care about you and maybe your child later on down the road.
- July 30th, 2009, 03:31 pm
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CharlieV1 CharlieV1 is offline
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perhaps you can clear up a misconception that I may have. Ideally I wouldn't mind seeing someone with a kid. My concern is the jealous dad coming after me. Which recently happened and this newly single mom was just a room mate living here. Needed a place to stay for a few weeks. But the baby dad thought I liked her. The way I was trying to help. Sent me a threatening e-mail and was about ready to get violent.
Some pregnant woman seek to date other men when they were with the father obviously just a few months earlier. What changes so quickly?

Unless he is controlling like the guy I encountered but that puts your potential suitors at risk if he's dangerous.
- August 29th, 2009, 09:42 am
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Well, I understand how everyone wants to find someone. I have a friend who had a child and has now found someone great who also has a child. Both of them had full custody and now they make such a cute family. However, I have met many guys with kids and depending on the circumstances I often find it a major turn off. Call me old fashioned, but I know how not to get pregnet and I would like to be married once and have children with that person. Maybe that's why I'm almost 27 with no children. I'll be honest, moving from the north to the south I'm now seeing myself as a minority.
- September 4th, 2009, 07:01 pm
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I also have a 5 year old son. Who I love very much! It is also hard for Men, because some women don't want a Men with a kid. They are just more discrete about it. I am single, and on e-harmony; but on my profile I mention my son. Because I am not ashame. They either Love it or Hate it. I have been closed by a lot of matches, because I have a 5 year old. But there are Fine single moms out there anyway!!!! So I am not bothered
- October 6th, 2009, 09:30 pm
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