lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #11  February 20,2008, 2:40pm
lucky173's Avatar

says "I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported"

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2008

NY

Posts: 1,510

See profile



ScottK, you make a great point about guys creating their own mental pic of someone when not seeing the pics until a later stage. I hadn't thought about that at all, so thanks!

I also see CP30's point about guys starting communication ONLY based on the photos. I'm fairly certain I've had this happen, as it seems too often that some guys starting the communication with me haven't read my profile at all.

So now, I usually keep my pics hidden and share them at the beginning of communication. Because fair is fair if I've seen his photos. I'm currently at the first stage of open communication with someone and I've decided I'm not going to progress further until he shares his photo. I've sent nudges, they are going ignored. Yet he wants to continue communicating?? Something not realy cool about that.

It's not shallow to say that a physical attraction IS important also.
 
  Reply With Quote
beafree is offline beafree Post #12  February 20,2008, 3:16pm
beafree's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Jan 2008

Las Vegas, NV

Posts: 8

See profile

I post my photo I want any guy that chooses to communicate with me to know how I look. I am very confident in who I am. I believe that I have a wonderful personality and I believe that I am attractive. I want a man to be interested in all of me and not posting my picture creates a problem. If he sees me and he isn't interested I'd perfer to know sooner instead of later. That's not shallow it's real. Also when a man puts in his must haves..a partener that is considered attractive by most standards..I close the match..
 
  Reply With Quote
Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #13  February 20,2008, 3:53pm

It's almost time folks.....

Unregistered

Joined: Jan 2008

MA

Posts: 3,852

See profile

Bea I agree with you exactly & do just the same. I too immediately close out anyone who lists "attractive" as one of their requirements - I think "attraction" is a given between 2 people in a relationship, but the fact that some people (male and female) list it in their must haves or profile sends another message that they are just players.
 
  Reply With Quote
5usan is offline 5usan Post #14  February 20,2008, 4:30pm
5usan's Avatar

Newbie

Joined: Nov 2007

Florida

Posts: 3

See profile

Gabriel3653,62696 wrote :
The answer to all of this is very simple. You can talk about modesty, security or whatever, but the bottom line is unattractive people do not post their photo. Enough said.
I agree, Gabriel3653. Also, confident people do post their photo, and who would want someone that is not confident?
 
  Reply With Quote
goddess-chrystal is offline goddess-chrystal Post #15  February 20,2008, 5:40pm
goddess-chrys…'s Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008

Canada

Posts: 5

See profile

faintchimes,62461 wrote :
I'm not overweight. I just am tired of meeting men who are attracted to me solely for my looks.
I agree as well, that is so true, I am not over weight, I am 120 or less. It's good if people liked who for who you are not only in looks, looks should be a bonus not the main thing. I hope people don't mind me saying this but I found it to be a fact, it doesn't matter how ugly or nasty the guy looks, he thinks that he should have the most sexy women by his side. I would like to point out as well that I do not know how to upload photo's on here, I went to edit profile and do not see anything to add a photo with. That's another problem I have as well here. Any help would be greatly needed.
 
  Reply With Quote
goddess-chrystal is offline goddess-chrystal Post #16  February 20,2008, 6:03pm
goddess-chrys…'s Avatar

is at home.

Newbie

Joined: Feb 2008

Canada

Posts: 5

See profile

5usan,62792 wrote :
Gabriel3653,62696 wrote :
The answer to all of this is very simple. You can talk about modesty, security or whatever, but the bottom line is unattractive people do not post their photo. Enough said.
I agree, Gabriel3653. Also, confident people do post their photo, and who would want someone that is not confident?
Can someone please tell me how you upload a photo here?
 
  Reply With Quote
Emme is offline Emme Post #17  February 20,2008, 7:35pm

.

Veteran

Joined: Dec 2007

Boston

Posts: 1,274

See profile

Gabriel3653,62696 wrote :
The answer to all of this is very simple. You can talk about modesty, security or whatever, but the bottom line is unattractive people do not post their photo. Enough said.
Doesthis explains why you have no photo posted on your profile here?
 
  Reply With Quote
lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #18  February 21,2008, 3:29am
lucky173's Avatar

says "I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported"

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2008

NY

Posts: 1,510

See profile



Gabrie3653 - very true, sometimes unattractive people don't post their photo, then again sometimes they DO! Not to be harsh, but, I've gotten a few photos that made me cringe, literally! And although I know what I like to look at, I am by NO means picky about the guy needing to look like he's stepped off the pages of a magazine. Attractive comes in many forms. I've also been pleasantly surprised by photos I've gotten that were initially hidden.

5usan, again another across the board comment. There are plenty of confident people, myself included, that don't have their photo out there all the time, for all to see. The fact that I choose instead to share my photo once I, or someone else requests communication rather than prior doesn't have anythign to do with my confidence.

One guy I was matched with here, had a ton of photos posted. We got through open comm. and continued communicating outside eharmony. I came to learn that he had ZERO self-confidence, and that was quite a turn-off.

So.. I think posting a pic or not posting a pic isn't necessary an immediate indication, in ALL instances, that a person is either A) Unattractive or B) not very self-confident. It all goes both ways.

In re: to the must have's of being attractive by today's standards. I always just ask them about that first chance I get, even if it's slipping the q in with another q, or one of my answers. "Today's Standards"?? Does that strike anyone else as being 'Hollywood' like?? While I know I am beautiful and very attractive to a lot fo men, I also know I don't have that "hollywood, movie-star, waltzed out of a magazine' kind of look about me. At teh same time, I figure by then they have seen my picture so obviously if they're still communicating at the point of sending MHCS's they must be interested in what I look like, no?
 
  Reply With Quote
lucky173 is offline lucky173 Post #19  February 21,2008, 3:49am
lucky173's Avatar

says "I like two kinds of men: domestic and imported"

Veteran

Joined: Feb 2008

NY

Posts: 1,510

See profile



I just posted a reply and now not sure what happened to it, but have one more thing to add/ask. How often have you gotten the question "What do you consider attractive?" I've gotten it too many times to keep track and YES, always from the guys that haven't shared a pic with me yet, but have seen my photos. That's an indication of me that he probably doesn't find himself attractive, OR maybe attractive "enough" for me.

Considering attraction, to me is comprised of soooo many things aside from just physical attributes, that's kind of difficult to define in a little box. However, usually I'll keep my answer short and sweet and once again ask them if they'd simply post their photo for me to see and then I could determine at least that one beginning part of things.

Sidenote, to date, when the q has been asked and when I've answered - they haven't posted pics afterward, AND have just stopped communicating. Don't close me out, but just don't continue to communicate either.
 
  Reply With Quote
mystikchik is offline mystikchik Post #20  February 21,2008, 8:24am

is an atheist and proud of it.

Unregistered

Joined: Jan 2008

California

Posts: 854

See profile



I think no matter how it is spun e harmony is all about winning at the mating game. While it is wonderful to be loved for all our intellectual and spiritual qualities it is utterly naive to think physical qualities can be simply subtracted from the process of finding a mate. In the mating game if you got it you flaunt it. If you don't have it you don't flaunt it.

Although not a paid member of this community, if I was I would, for sure, assume that no picture meant they probably were not all that much to look at or that they at least had some negative feelings about how they looked.

BTW I read over and over again posts from people complaining abou how their dates didn't look like the posted pictures. Why not after you start e mailing each other linking to you tube showing you as you are today playing and working and sitting in front of the camera saying, "Hi".

Tens of millions of people do this everyday from all walk of life from around the planet. What is so difficult for any of you to post a short video of you being you in the 21st century. A video is always going to be more revealing that hammed up pics.
 
  Reply With Quote
Reply


« I'm seeing red flags . . . | Using eHarmony | When was the last FCW? »
Topic Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new topics
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off

Looking for a Great Relationship?

Get started now. Fill out this form and take the questionnaire to receive your matches.

First Name:

I'm a:
seeking

Postal Code:

Country:

Email:

Confirm Email:

Password:


How did you hear about us?


Latest on our Dating Advice Discussion Boards

“Thanks! dmi said it best when he said the variation between races are too wide to exclude any race.” –  sun73

Join the “How much does race play in your dating someone?” discussion

“ If you know, then, that you've already friend-zoned him, I don't see much point in meeting. I misread your op and thought you were just trying to decide how you felt about him. If you know you ... ” –  singinggirl

Join the “Yellow flags...To Proceed or not to proceed, that is the question?” discussion

“You are very Welcome Simplicity...” –  legend29

Join the “Robin Gibbs Dead at 62...How Deep is Your Love?” discussion

“ We also have the same friends. Yesterday there was an outing and I decided to go regardless if he was going to be there or not. Every time he saw me he went somewhere else. One of his friends ... ” –  lynntlb78

Join the “Can I wait and move on at the same time?” discussion

“You will have the option to close a match at any time, but if it is ONLY giving you the option to close, that means the other person has already closed it.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “Question, archive, close...” discussion

“ Very true, this is a high percentage of the members who use free comm weekends.” –  eH_Advice_Host_Eve

Join the “dreaded free weekend” discussion



All times are GMT -8. The time now is 5:55pm.

Discussion Boards Archive

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.4
Copyright ©2000 - 2012, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.
Search Engine Friendly URLs by vBSEO 3.6.0