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eH_Advice_Host_Kate eH_Advice_Host_Kate is offline
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Greencrayola16 –

Wow! Glad to hear it. This is exemplary of how to use eHarmony. When you communicate with all your matches, you will naturally see how some drop out of the picture. I’m glad to hear that you’ve been on several dates. Keep in touch and let us know how things go.

Missie316 – sorry for the delayed response. If you have already sent these matches a Nudge, then yes – so that you can feel more free to move on to other matches, you may want to close them. Generally speaking, after you’ve sent the Nudge (which appears on your match’s profile 1 week after you’ve sent a communication) you may want to wait another week, and if you haven’t gotten a response from them, close the match.

Estee – Sorry to hear that things got off to a slow start for you. I hope things have picked up. It may not be too late to pursue communication with those closed matches. If they have closed the match, you can always send a final message so they can re-open the match and start communicating. If you close the match and change your mind, you can contact our Customer Care team and see if they can request to re-open the match. They are also available when you have difficulties with issues like uploading photos: http://help-singles.eharmony.com/

All the best,

~Kate
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- July 2nd, 2009, 10:19 am
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living_in_paradise living_in_paradise is offline
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I have a question. There was a guy who initiated comm with me so obviously heis at least someone interested in me with both what he has read and what he sees in my photos. We have gotten to the step right before open communication but he has not initiated open comm yet and I was wondering why. We have almost everyhting in common from our profiles, I think he is nice looking and we do not live very far apart (as he had mentioned mot minding ong distance relationships). I cannot initiate open comm. It is up to him, which is weird to me. He has not done this yet and I was wondering if anyone had any thoughts on why. The answers to the last set of q's is the only thing I can think of, however there were not any offputing responses. Hmmm???
- July 3rd, 2009, 05:21 pm
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ty_999 ty_999 is offline
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Guys, don't wait for the women to initiate. They'll have plenty of dudes in front of you messaging them if you wait too long. Ladies, if you're interested in a particular guy, don't wait around to initiate either... cause it may never happen his end! Be proactive! Simple as that.
- August 6th, 2009, 12:27 am
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Teanney Teanney is offline
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I am new, I have initiated at least 7 communications via the list of questions and none have closed me nor have they responded. If there not interested they should close me, I think it is rude to do nothing after you receive some communication.
- August 8th, 2009, 04:10 pm
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jmc1951 jmc1951 is offline
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Everybody has a different take on this one but I am a rather typical female and would never initiate communication. If my matches don't communicate with me they are not interested or they are otherwise engaged. I close them after they have been on my list about a month. When all is said and done in most of the animal world the males initiate contact and the females choose which males they want to play with. In EH if a man wants to communicate but is too passive then I would probably not find him too attractive anyway. I like to be winked which is kind of flirty and fun and allows me to respond positively up front. Guys who are shy might consider using it since nothing is lost. Best to all
- August 8th, 2009, 07:55 pm
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shast shast is offline
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I have been struggling with this question.. a little old fashioned and really don't want to be the initiate... Looking for love.... but don't think I will stay on a site that matches me with non paying clients who can't possibly respond... that makes -0- sense to me... what are they thinking? Why would I want to throw my hard earned money right down the drain...I thought this site had more integrity than that.
- August 8th, 2009, 08:08 pm
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CreolePrincess CreolePrincess is offline
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CreolePrincess It is so complicated, ya'll, and it doesn't even have to be.

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It's a weird thing indeed, but I've found that once I and a match have made it through GC to OC, he vanishes. I used to think it was something that I was going wrong, unti I came to this board and found it was not unusal at all. It's all part of the game. So, I started to initate responses, even if I was only marginally interested. As it was explained to me, it's a numbers game. Increase your numbers and increase your odds. So unless the person is completely repulsive, I would respond, give them about 10 days, and if no response, close out. For the few that did respond, I would look at them a little closer, and if they didn't appeal, close them out as well. And if someone initated with me, I always responded back.
- August 8th, 2009, 11:34 pm
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IcecreamMoon IcecreamMoon is offline
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IcecreamMoon Nothing to see here at all...

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298 posts is called "new" around here?
- August 8th, 2009, 11:47 pm
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woddywo woddywo is offline
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I think the action of who initiates communication 1st is part of whether an attraction is made. Some people like to take the lead, some like to be noticed and persued. Hopefully this is why e Harmony will work, everyone gets to be themselves in their search.
- August 22nd, 2009, 07:39 am
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missgapeach missgapeach is offline
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I have found that the men ususally leave it to me to initiate communication. I have had 3or more would get to the Must Haves and then I wouldn't hear from them again..Is that really giving us gals a chance, men?
- August 26th, 2009, 04:20 pm
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