The dreaded "premarital sex" question


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ThePriestess is offline ThePriestess Post #21  August 12,2008, 1:10pm
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theschu, wrote :

I'm a Christian guy that's waiting until marriage...
I hope you at least make sure to get your potassium.
 
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AnEarForYou is offline AnEarForYou Post #22  August 12,2008, 2:06pm
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lada,212479 wrote :

"I'm a Christian guy that's waiting until marriage and I'm looking for a woman that's on the same page (past mistakes not taken into consideration). "


not give any consideration? You gonna require documentation of hymen in situ?
Lada, I thought he meant the opposite. I think he is saying it will be acceptable to him if the girl may have messed up the virginity thing already, but wants to wait for marriage before doing it again. I think he needs to clarify though, to us, and the people he approaches with this.
 
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theschu is offline theschu Post #23  August 12,2008, 2:14pm
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Sorry, yes, I'm much more concerned with a woman's current thoughts/actions than the past. After all, we've ALL done things we're not proud of.
 
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neardc is offline neardc Post #24  August 12,2008, 2:50pm
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Definitely important to clarify exactly what you are looking for (and where the lines are that you don't want to cross).


BTW, there are a number of groups on eH Advice for folks who think along the same lines, so you should be able to find some like-minded people here to share experiences with, discuss issues, etc. (take a look at the groups that japaneseblueeyes belongs to and you should be able to find all/most of them).


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bravethestorm is offline bravethestorm Post #25  August 12,2008, 4:31pm
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I've had a few matches send me a question with my views on premarital sex in the guided questions. Most of those were asking for the opposite reason and had repeatedly on their profile how sex was one of their favorite things...must have inany relationship etc...so I closed them.


I think that type of question you have to be careful about how you ask it as it can come off as either an expectation that you want sex right away or that you want to wait until it means more than just a physical act. To me the waiting is a plus as my own beliefs are that sex is designed for marriage or a commited relationship that is close to that point.


It is one of those "deal breakers" though...and for good reason...as if you really want to wait until marriage...you don't want a tease who has a goal simply to get you into bed with no strings attached. I would suggest being honest when the subject or situation comes up...or it feels the right time to state your feelings on sex. The right woman for you will be one with similar expectations at this point in her life including waiting until marrriage or who has had sex and now wants to wait.
 
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japaneseblueeyes is offline japaneseblueeyes Post #26  August 12,2008, 7:59pm
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neardc,212690 wrote :

Definitely important to clarify exactly what you are looking for (and where the lines are that you don't want to cross).


BTW, there are a number of groups on eH Advice for folks who think along the same lines, so you should be able to find some like-minded people here to share experiences with, discuss issues, etc. (take a look at the groups that japaneseblueeyes belongs to and you should be able to find all/most of them).


(I spent most of my childhood in Davis; it's a nice town!)
Does this mean I am famous? Or infamous? [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-innocent.gif[/img]
 
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theschu is offline theschu Post #27  August 12,2008, 8:15pm
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Perhaps a bit of both[img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img]
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #28  August 13,2008, 7:44am
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JBE, meet theschu.


theschu, meet JBE.


A bientot mes amis.





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southernbelle20 is offline southernbelle20 Post #29  August 13,2008, 10:51am
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Obviously this is a legitimate question, or it probably wouldn't be an option--in our society being promiscuous or waiting for marriage really are important aspects of a relationship. If you value the importance of not having premarital sex, then I'd hope that you'd expect your "mate" to have the same value. If a match doesn't appreciate that value and closes communication (or whatever) then you were probably finished talking anyway, right?


Main point: don't sweat it. When you've found a good match, she won't mind the questions you ask.
 
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japaneseblueeyes is offline japaneseblueeyes Post #30  August 16,2008, 4:41pm
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noseyparker,213538 wrote :

JBE, meet theschu.


theschu, meet JBE.


A bientot mes amis.





*** civic duty for the day is done [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-cool.gif[/img] ***
Merci beaucoup! [img]library/editor/plugins/emotions/img/smiley-embarassed.gif[/img]
 
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