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fivestarmichael fivestarmichael is offline
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kade_57 wrote :

Oh contrair Mr Michael I do not have a negative impression of men. It really seems as if I struck a nerve, for you to say you agree with the gentlemen above.....and to be attacked in such a manner! I was merely stating the facts as I have seen and heard them from other gentlemen.....some of whom are held in high esteem.


To have my comments labled as 'victorian' and to be told I think women who pursue and enjoy sex are whores is not only incorrect but insulting. I never used the word whore, nor did I imply that women who enjoy sex are whores. The other comments from your two advocates are equally as insulting.


....and I never, ever said that great sex isn't an important part of a relationship, I just believe it is intended for marriage. That said, any further debate seems to be engendering anger rather than intelligent conversation and engendering thought about why another person may have a differing point of view than yours.





~~Karen
Your struck a nerve by generalizing men. You said that men just want to test the wares before deciding to marry... that is a generalization about men. I have heard plenty of woman say they wouldn't marry a man if the sex was bad. You made this a male/female issue. Women are seeking rich men for security and Men are interested in sex. That is a very antiquated view point. There are plenty of women capable of supporting a child and a man... many women no longer need men for security.


If you agree sex is an important part of a relationship... then why wouldn't you have sex as soon as you realized it was the right time? Wait for marriage? Which marriage? Your 2nd marriage, your 4th marriage? The institution of marriage doesn't mean anything in a society where 50% of marriages end in divorce.
- December 28th, 2008, 02:26 pm
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tranquility2 tranquility2 is offline
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realized this is old
Last edited by tranquility2; November 2nd, 2009 at 10:45 pm.
- November 2nd, 2009, 09:47 pm
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nightling nightling is offline
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Sarah wrote :
Maybe rather than saying you'd wait for marriage (which may rule out some good Christian matches for you). Say you want to wait until you are in a serious committed relationship before sex. I'd take the focus off of the premarital part and concentrate on getting to know your match in all the ways that count and cross that bridge when you get to it. Otherwise you may get closed out because of that stance. It's all in how you word or "don't word things".


Don't "say anything just let your actions do the talking and maybe wait till you meet someone get to GC with them, talk about other things. Nobody likes absolutes, it's too stifling.
Now why should he do that? That is not what he wants to do. He wants to find a woman who agrees with his world view, not compromise on the issue.

I would mention this in your profile. You will not drive off any reasonable women by saying so.

I wouldn't ask their views on premarital sex in the initial question phase because well gee you haven't even met the person face to face yet and that's really personal. If you put it in your profile, few women are likely to contact you if they have a problem with the viewpoint you hold.

Good luck.
- November 2nd, 2009, 10:04 pm
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Fleuellen Fleuellen is offline
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theschu wrote :
Hey all,


I'm a Christian guy that's waiting until marriage and I'm looking for a woman that's on the same page (past mistakes not taken into consideration). I've met quite a few Christians that don't wait and would like to get this information fairly early on but I'm wondering if the 1st question: "What are your thoughts on premarital sex?" is too personal and pushing people away. Any thoughts?


Peace.
I feel you should be upfront, so that women can get a better sense of what they may be getting into. I imagine that most folk would want to avoid religious zealots, of any depiction; particularly in this age of terrorism. fficeffice" />>>
>>
- November 2nd, 2009, 10:28 pm
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dueceloco dueceloco is offline
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dueceloco Someone point me in the right direction, I've been going the wrong way

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Wow!! After reading a lot of the messages written here about premarital sex I can't help but laugh at how sensitive some people became.

I have met two people in my life that waited to have sex before marriage, one man and one woman. The woman unfortunately fell short of her commitment when she decided to perform oral on a fellow she had dated for some time. She also did other things but I'll leave it at she never was vaginally penetrated. She would argue that she waited till she married to have sex. I very strongly disagreed with her on this issue. She is married now 7yrs to a different man previously mentioned.

Now the man I knew who saved himself for marriage also performed oral with his girlfriends. I haven't talked to him since I left the military 10yrs ago,so I have no clue if he's still a virgin.

Now I also have met three women in my past that claimed to have saved themselves for marriage. All three women had sex with me, two were still married to the same man that they waited for to have sex. The stories that they told were all very similar. They felt like they lost the friendship and that they didn't feel sexy anymore to their husbands. At the time all this was happening I was between the ages of 18-20 a us soldier away from home.

What I have learned in my life is that everything we do whether its wait for marriage before we have sex or we jump right and have multiple partners all we really want at the end of the day is for someone to validate us. All we really want is for someone to remnd us that we are loved, desired and cared for. We all want to be sexy to someone, I know I do.

The only real advice anyone can really give to another person is to follow your heart truthfully and love honestly. When problems accur handle them with the support of those that love you.

Dueceloco a friend if you need me
- December 30th, 2009, 07:21 pm
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mrflyer mrflyer is offline
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dueceloco wrote :
I have met two people in my life that waited to have sex before marriage, one man and one woman. The woman unfortunately fell short of her commitment when she decided to perform oral on a fellow she had dated for some time. She also did other things but I'll leave it at she never was vaginally penetrated. She would argue that she waited till she married to have sex.
Thanks to the Clinton scandal, there are a lot of people who think that particular act is not sex.

It depends on what your definition of "is" is.
- December 31st, 2009, 11:10 am
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