The dreaded "premarital sex" question


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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #11  August 12,2008, 11:10am
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theschu, wrote :

Hey all,


I'm a Christian guy that's waiting until marriage and I'm looking for a woman that's on the same page (past mistakes not taken into consideration). I've met quite a few Christians that don't wait and would like to get this information fairly early on but I'm wondering if the 1st question: "What are your thoughts on premarital sex?" is too personal and pushing people away. Any thoughts?


Peace.
Theschu, I think at that stage, you have the option to write your own question. You can re-word it so it seems less intimidating. You can say that you're a Christian and you want to know if youe match shares your view of abstaining from sex until marriage. Or you could put that in your profile. Someone who does not share your view, will close the match most likely. You should then feel safe asking your reminingin matches the pre-marital sex question.


I don't think you're looking for someone who will have sex in a 'committed relationship'. You want to wait until marriage. Am I correct? If so, then you must be very clear, to avoid misunderstandings. Be prepares to accept the huge number of matches that will close you.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #12  August 12,2008, 11:12am
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theschu, wrote :

Hey all,


I'm a Christian guy that's waiting until marriage and I'm looking for a woman that's on the same page (past mistakes not taken into consideration). I've met quite a few Christians that don't wait and would like to get this information fairly early on but I'm wondering if the 1st question: "What are your thoughts on premarital sex?" is too personal and pushing people away. Any thoughts?


Peace.
** don't they have a spell check***


Theschu, I think at that stage, you have the option to write your own question. You can re-word it so it seems less intimidating. You can say that you're a Christian and you want to know if your match shares your view of abstaining from sex until marriage. Or you could put that in your profile. Someone who does not share your view, will close the match most likely. You should then feel safe asking your remaining matches the pre-marital sex question.

I don't think you're looking for someone who will have sex in a 'committed relationship'. You want to wait until marriage. Am I correct? If so, then you must be very clear, to avoid misunderstandings. Be prepared to accept the huge number of matches that will close you.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #13  August 12,2008, 11:14am
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theschu,212350 wrote :

Thanks for the feedback. Larson, what do you think about mentioning it in my profile... will I still get the screeching halt (at least from those folks that agree with me?)
They will close you out, if they do not share your belief. Isn't that what you'd want?
 
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theschu is offline theschu Post #14  August 12,2008, 11:17am
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Thanks NP (noseyparker): I don't mind folks closing me out...I can take it
 
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theschu is offline theschu Post #15  August 12,2008, 11:20am
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BTW, for the 1st questions I don't have an option to write my own.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #16  August 12,2008, 11:20am
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theschu,212464 wrote :

Thanks NP (noseyparker): I don't mind folks closing me out...I can take it
Then yur problem is solved. Mention your requirement/belief system in your profile. Leave the matter in God's hands. You're being faithful to your beliefs, and that's what matters.
 
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noseyparker is offline noseyparker Post #17  August 12,2008, 11:23am
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theschu,212468 wrote :

BTW, for the 1st questions I don't have an option to write my own.
Then wait until the 2nd set of questions to pose it, and write it in the context of your stated beliefs. Sometimes people overlook things like that in a profile, so it helps to reiterate your position.


Goo luck...there's many ladies out there who shre your beliefs... they may not be great looking, so please don't use photos as the basis for your shortlist.
 
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mtw is offline mtw Post #18  August 12,2008, 11:24am
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hey theschu- i'd say put something in your profile. It's important to you so I think it's better to get closed out right away than to waste your time and the other person's by being unclear. And a woman could definitely think you mean the exact opposite if she saw that question with no other explantion.
 
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lada is offline lada Post #19  August 12,2008, 11:27am
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"I'm a Christian guy that's waiting until marriage and I'm looking for a woman that's on the same page (past mistakes not taken into consideration). "


not give any consideration? You gonna require documentation of hymen in situ?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is online now Gr8Guyn2008 Post #20  August 12,2008, 1:01pm
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I would not ask the question until I get to Open Communication. That way there is an opportunity for discussion and eliminates the possibility of misundertanding.
 
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