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sometimessassy's Avatar

sometimessassy is waiting for her Prince Charming...

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Okay so I started talking to this guy about a month and a half ago. We exchanged emails, IMs, and text messages. We haven't been able to meet face to face because first he went on vacation, then I left right after he got back for vacation.


So while I was on vacation, I didn't really hear from him, and I figured oh well, another guy has gone "poof." Well omce I got back o signed into my IM and he started talking to me like nothing happened. The next night he mentions and I quote "I found out my girl friend cheated on me last night." WTF. Apparently he had gotten a girl friend while I was gone.


Seriously. And I had to bite my tounge so I didn't ask why the heck he was still talking to me. Why would he even communicate with me through a "dating site" if he had just gotten a girl friend. GRRRR.


And he has been IMing me and I still talk to him, I can see him as a friend, whatever fine. I have lots of practice having "guy friends" seeing as the games girls play annoy me. BUt now am finding that guys play just as many games.


I am starting to hope that not all men are like some of these men I have met so far. I guess I'm not really asking for advice, I just really needed to vent.


- July 22nd, 2008, 07:55 pm
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kay08's Avatar

kay08 eHA is useless. Email me: misskay08@gmail

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How frustrating! I really don't understand people that use a site like this if they aren't looking for a serious relationship... though maybe this guy was, and just happened to be fickle.
- July 22nd, 2008, 08:01 pm
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HoneyBee13's Avatar

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Apparently lots of people use online dating services to meet friends! It has happened to me. My personwas married and didn't mention it until we metand he turned it on me by saying I never asked if he was married. I know, how naive of me to assume he was single. So I feel your pain.My theory is that people will be in a relationship, but the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. So they keep looking for someone better to come along. What easier way than online. They don't have to do any "real" cheating. They get to hide behind the computer and if someone better does come along, then they can make plans to meet that person. Of course they could careless if they hurt you because they always have someone waiting at home.
- July 22nd, 2008, 08:12 pm
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Blue_Angel is finally able to access eH advice after too many weeks of an error msg!!

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HoneyBee13 wrote :

Apparently lots of people use online dating services to meet friends! It has happened to me. My personwas married and didn't mention it until we metand he turned it on me by saying I never asked if he was married. I know, how naive of me to assume he was single. So I feel your pain.My theory is that people will be in a relationship, but the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. So they keep looking for someone better to come along. What easier way than online. They don't have to do any "real" cheating. They get to hide behind the computer and if someone better does come along, then they can make plans to meet that person. Of course they could careless if they hurt you because they always have someone waiting at home.
and in the end I feel sorry for people that do this because the real issue is them and not feeling like they measure up deep down inside


- July 22nd, 2008, 08:31 pm
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Blue_Angel wrote :

HoneyBee13 wrote :


Apparently lots of people use online dating services to meet friends! It has happened to me. My personwas married and didn't mention it until we metand he turned it on me by saying I never asked if he was married. I know, how naive of me to assume he was single. So I feel your pain.My theory is that people will be in a relationship, but the grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. So they keep looking for someone better to come along. What easier way than online. They don't have to do any "real" cheating. They get to hide behind the computer and if someone better does come along, then they can make plans to meet that person. Of course they could careless if they hurt you because they always have someone waiting at home.


and in the end I feel sorry for people that do this because the real issue is them and not feeling like they measure up deep down inside


I never thought of it from that perspective.I guess it is just another way people are insecure. But I still think they want to have their cake and eat it too!
- July 22nd, 2008, 08:43 pm
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Yeah, I don't get it either.


All I can think of, is that some people are joining to "trade up".


They really aren't interested in finding "a relationship, as they are already in one...


They are here to see if they can find someone "better" than what they have now, and if so, they will trade up.


So if you aren't "trade up" material, at least in their eyes, you end up in their "friend zone", and well, quite honestly, thats not why I am here.


Yes, friends are nice to have, but I am on here to meet and hopefully fall in love/marry, not to just "make friends" with a bunch of people.





- July 22nd, 2008, 08:53 pm
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Walking_Rain's Avatar

Walking_Rain is sitting on a toadstool waiting for Alice.

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I am here to find a lover and maybe marry again. Not that it has done me any good. That is the reason most of us are here, is it not?


This particular guy is not worth your time. Move on.


- July 22nd, 2008, 09:14 pm
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kay08's Avatar

kay08 eHA is useless. Email me: misskay08@gmail

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And I thought it was annoying to receive matches who openly state in their profiles they're simply looking for friends... at least I've not run into someone concealing a marriage or anything of the kind.
- July 22nd, 2008, 09:15 pm
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Natch's Avatar

Natch has obtained said haircut, but has no proof.

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If his name is Don I dated him.











Joking, joking. Just jumping on the bandwagon. No, I'm not gay. Straight as an arrow.
- July 22nd, 2008, 09:58 pm
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Well, look at it from the other point of view. He's paying for this as well, to look for friends and not getting the most out of this site.


You're right, it makes no sense for someone to JUST look for friends on a site thats supposed to match people up for dating, possibly more.


However, that being said, if i end up with a new friend from this, I consider it a success. Its one more person you would not have met otherwise to enrich your life. I personally had a year and a half relationship from a match here. Its unfortunate that the relationship didn't progress further, BUT we remain very good friends and I would not have met her any other way. I suspect that she will be a part of my life for a very long time. For that, I am thankful.
- July 22nd, 2008, 10:00 pm
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