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behonestnow behonestnow is offline
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behonestnow is at home.

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Tonight I became an official member of EHarmony.


When I clicked on "My matches" I wasa bit disappointed.....only 6 to choose from.


And out of the 6 one was way out of my range of dating.....so that leaves me with only 5!


How often can I expect new matches to appear? I've only heard good things about this site and I'm crossing my fingers there really is my Mr. Right out there.....


Is there any way to do a search and look for additional people and bypass their searching methods?





- July 20th, 2008, 06:55 pm
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EEDr EEDr is offline
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You will usually get new matches delivered to you each morning. I typically get 4-7 new matches each day. If you click on the "my matches" link you will then see a list of all your matches and a link at the top left of the list will give you the option to search for new matches if you don't want to wait. However, this search method does not always produce results. It takes time for their computer to locate your matches.
- July 21st, 2008, 07:47 am
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Gr8Guyn2008 Gr8Guyn2008 is offline
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Gr8Guyn2008 I wanna know what love is, I want you to show me

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First, welcome to the discussion boards.


Each persons number of matches is different. EEDr says he get 4 to 7 each day. I get one every two weeks to a month. There are some people on the discussion boards that get dozens or even hundreds a day. If you make all your settings "Not Important" and set your distance to thousands of mile then you will get a lot of matches but most of them will not be acceptable to you.


There is no way to search by criteria that you select and change, you only get matches that eHarmony has decided are right for you based on your Personality Profile and the few settings you can make.


As for only hearing "good things" about eHarmony just read the posts on these discussion boards. You will find a few that think that eHarmony is the greatest thing since sliced bread but the vast majority will tell you it is a great waste of money. To find the posts from people that think eHarmony is great check out the Very Happy thread.


Best of luck to you.
- July 21st, 2008, 08:54 am
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japaneseblueeyes japaneseblueeyes is offline
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japaneseblueeyes Prefers the ugly truth to beautiful lies.

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It is not you, it is the system. No way to bypass it either. Lots of people on these advice boards might be in your area so just fill out your profile and start posting!
- July 21st, 2008, 09:20 am
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yetanotherdavid yetanotherdavid is offline
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Welcome to the Advise area. Many believe this is a better place to learn the true nature of people in how they deal socially (play well) with others. Whatever you do, don't look at a company trying to makea buckas ajudge of your character.





What I have noticedis many go in with a negative attitude that no one will find attractive. Adopt the attitude that if someone closes you out, they don't deserve you and move on. Try to get to open communications with as many as you are comfortable with. If they don't answer after a week or more, close them out as they probably are not paying members... it's nothing personal. Same goes if they start communicating and then suddenly pay no attention. Again, it's nothing personal. Not everyone will be that into you and you won't be that into them.





My only suggestion is to be open, honest, up front and communicative with everyone. Don't lead anyone on. Close them out with dignity rather than leave anyone hanging.





Just my two dollars (inflation... two cents isn't worth much any more ;-)
- July 21st, 2008, 09:37 am
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sucrechef sucrechef is offline
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If it makes you feel any better, I had only 10 matches the day I joined (6 of which were too far away). The next day I had 10 more, but all were too far away. Since then, I have adjusted my distance parameters and have had no new matches in the last 16 days.
- July 21st, 2008, 02:23 pm
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trailviews trailviews is offline
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behonestnow, wrote :

And out of the 6 one was way out of my range of dating.....so that leaves me with only 5!


How often can I expect new matches to appear?* I've only heard good things about this site and I'm crossing my fingers there really is my Mr. Right out there.....


Is there any way to do a search and look for additional people and bypass their searching methods
Well, if the 5 you got have potential, that's better than a lot of people are getting.



Anyhow, if you're a subscribing member, I believe you can get up to 12/day (though I don't think they do that often). As a new member, you will probably receive a few every morning. If you live in an area where there are few members (e.g. rural areas, places where other dating sites are more popular), the supply will eventually run low/out, as new sign-ups don't meet demand. At that point, you'll only get new matches when new people who fit your criteria sign up.



Also, there's this link on your "My Matches" page that says, "Find New Matches". That will allow you to manually request the system to find new matches for you.
- July 21st, 2008, 02:53 pm
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kay08 kay08 is offline
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There's nothing wrong with you! eH seems to place a cap on how many matches you will be delivered per 24-hour period. When I joined over a year ago, I would receive nine matches a day without fail. Over the past few months I receive seven a day and, from time to time, fewer than that.


As you probably are aware, you can change your match criteria and flexibility on the criteria (e.g. which religions your matches can be affiliated with, and how important that is to you) which allows you to receive more matches -- however, in my opinion, quality is more important than quantity.


After a lot of experimenting with my settings, I'd rather receive very few matches with whom I truly have potential, than an abundance of matches with whom I share nothing but mutual disinterest. Good luck to you!
- July 21st, 2008, 08:44 pm
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MW77009 MW77009 is offline
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My counsel would be to be patient. I get the feeling many people join expecting to meet the love of their life in a New York minute, just as I get the impression that some have the impression that internet dating means you can order up a boy or girlfriend much like you would order a pizza. Just enter your ingredients and shazaam! There he, she or it appears!


Internet dating is really a complex undertaking. You will get many matches that, for many reasons, do not convert into dates, and even fewer will become more. I believe that if you go about it honestly and realistically and function as an honest participant, you have an opportunity to use this tool for meeting people effectively for dating and a relationship. In the mean time, I suggest you hedge your bets by going out, living your life, and being open to all the opportunities to meet people off line.


As an aside, I have tried two of the other leading sites and EH seems to have been a better source for meeting quality people. The others are riddled with jokers, clowns, and dum dums such that they are like cyberbars.


Good luck.





- July 21st, 2008, 09:58 pm
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2ndsojourn 2ndsojourn is offline
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You aren't showing where you're from or your age and that may make a difference on the potential number of matches you'll eventually recieve. From what a number of posters here complain about, you will probably run out of desirable matches and you may want to save some of your potential matches for later by turning off the matching once you have about 30 matches 'backlogged', and work with that batch untila lot of them areclosed, for whatever reason.


You will find it difficult to manage and communicate with too many matches at the same time (more than 15 - 20) and they will close you out for not communicating. So save them up for later. At some point the pool of eligible and reasonable matches will diminish and theyWILL start sending you 'flexible matches' that you won't like (too distant, wrong age, alcoholics, etc.).


You'll also learn thata large numberof the matches are duds (non-members) so you will have to send out a lot of requests to communicate before you get a bite. Then you will learn that you have to meet a lot of people before you will find the 'one'. To put it simply, it's a numbers thing.


Good luck and welcome to the world of internet dating.


2ndsojourn
- July 21st, 2008, 10:27 pm
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