How should I deal with this?


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kelygirl83 is offline kelygirl83 Post #1  July 10,2008, 3:16pm
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Okay. I am a plus size girl. I make this known by posting pictures in my profile showing that I am not Barbie. But what am I suppose to do when I get this in Must Haves/ Can't Stand:


Excessive Overweight...... I can't stand someone who is overweight.





Do I close it out because I know my looks will dissappoint them?
 
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LawyerDan is offline LawyerDan Post #2  July 10,2008, 3:20pm
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This is a tough question. If you seriously have a photo that represents you then he may not consider you to be overwieght. However, if you feel uncomfortable about the question it probably won't get better the further is gets in the communication so closing him out might be your best bet.
 
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hazmat is offline hazmat Post #3  July 10,2008, 3:25pm
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He sounds pretty specific when he says he "can't stand someone who is overweight". He's not even giving wiggle room about what personality you might have. Don't waste your time. Toss him back.
 
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kelygirl83 is offline kelygirl83 Post #4  July 10,2008, 3:26pm
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Its the full bodied picture of this one you see to your left of this message. I will admit I am 100 lbs over weight. I honestly find his statement kind of insulting but I have recieved this a couple of times and the other one that is similar too.
 
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kim9610 is offline kim9610 Post #5  July 10,2008, 3:27pm
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LawyerDan,166094 wrote :

This is a tough question. If you seriously have a photo that represents you then he may not consider you to be overwieght. However, if you feel uncomfortable about the question it probably won't get better the further is gets in the communication so closing him out might be your best bet.
I think you are becoming nicer in your posts


(You will get more women that way!)
 
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123_red is offline 123_red Post #6  July 10,2008, 3:40pm

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kelygirl83, wrote :

Okay. I am a plus size girl. I make this known by posting pictures in my profile showing that I am not Barbie. But what am I suppose to do when I get this in Must Haves/ Can't Stand:


Excessive Overweight...... I can't stand someone who is overweight.





Do I close it out because I know my looks will dissappoint them?
I am going through this. Opposite of you. I am very slim, he likes Big Boobs, and Long Hair. I have short hair, and love it, small boobs, he said he is looking at the whole me, he likes. I still feel uncomfortable. Knowing his preferance, I would always feel not comfortable, when a big boobed long haired woman was around.



I guess it is about your level of how you feel. He may be like this guy and say to heck with it I really like your personality. Ask your self what I have. Knowing how he feels, even if he said it did not matter would it bother you.


Hope this helps. May
 
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kelygirl83 is offline kelygirl83 Post #7  July 10,2008, 3:45pm
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123_red,166127 wrote :

kelygirl83, wrote :


Okay. I am a plus size girl. I make this known by posting pictures in my profile showing that I am not Barbie. But what am I suppose to do when I get this in Must Haves/ Can't Stand:


Excessive Overweight...... I can't stand someone who is overweight.





Do I close it out because I know my looks will dissappoint them?


I am going through this. Opposite of you. I am very slim, he likes Big Boobs, and Long Hair. I have short hair, and love it, small boobs, he said he is looking at the whole me, he likes. I still feel uncomfortable. Knowing his preferance, I would always feel not comfortable, when a big boobed long haired woman was around.



I guess it is about your level of how you feel. He may be like this guy and say to heck with it I really like your personality. Ask your self what I have. Knowing how he feels, even if he said it did not matter would it bother you.


Hope this helps. May
Thank you, May.
 
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Red Sox Girl is offline Red Sox Girl Post #8  July 10,2008, 3:47pm

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123_red,166127 wrote :

kelygirl83, wrote :


Okay. I am a plus size girl. I make this known by posting pictures in my profile showing that I am not Barbie. But what am I suppose to do when I get this in Must Haves/ Can't Stand:


Excessive Overweight...... I can't stand someone who is overweight.





Do I close it out because I know my looks will dissappoint them?


I am going through this. Opposite of you. I am very slim, he likes Big Boobs, and Long Hair. I have short hair, and love it, small boobs, he said he is looking at the whole me, he likes. I still feel uncomfortable. Knowing his preferance, I would always feel not comfortable, when a big boobed long haired woman was around.



I guess it is about your level of how you feel. He may be like this guy and say to heck with it I really like your personality. Ask your self what I have. Knowing how he feels, even if he said it did not matter would it bother you.


Hope this helps. May
Red, I find it really weird that a socially skilled guy would make his "preference" clear to you when it seems to be different to you. Unless I'm missing something, I'd kick him to the side of the road. He should be able to be considering the "whole you" without verbalizing how you differ from his "preference" & making you feel insecure even in a tiny way.
 
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PeteyKirch is offline PeteyKirch Post #9  July 10,2008, 3:49pm
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At first I read it as that is on your Must Haves/Can't Stands and I was about to say bit of a hypocrite?


I mean if you are overweight, but yet can still keep an active lifestyle I wouldn't bother me. It's to the point where you are bed/couch ridden. I'm always a fan of curvy girls. I don't mind skinny girls just as long as they are healthy and aren't purging after every meal.
 
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graceventually is offline graceventually Post #10  July 10,2008, 4:24pm
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kelygirl83, wrote :

Okay. I am a plus size girl. I make this known by posting pictures in my profile showing that I am not Barbie. But what am I suppose to do when I get this in Must Haves/ Can't Stand:


Excessive Overweight...... I can't stand someone who is overweight.





Do I close it out because I know my looks will dissappoint them?
I'm plus-sized too, (although 26 pounds less so thanI was in April....) and I would be scared off by that comment. I have a photo of me seated on my eH profile and a reference to the fact that I've been losing some, but still. I just don't think that I'd be comfortable with a person who "can't stand" overweight.
 
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