Profile review request - 32/F

The one thing I am most passionate about:

I am passionate about learning as much as I possibly can and having a greater understanding of the world around me.
Non answer----passionate about is why you chose your career, is there something you volunteer for or fight for, is there a hobby or interest you love and would never give up for a relationship.


Thee most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Acceptance. I am looking for a man who will accept me as I am, who will like and love me even if there are times that it may be hard to do so. I'm looking for a man that I will be more than enough for; one who will think (and eventually say) "She's the one I've been waiting my whole life for".

Acceptance as an answer is good....but what you say can give the impression that you are stubborn and unwilling to change so the guys just have to deal with you....which would make you a hypocrit if you want to try and change them.

This can also come off as you want a man to accept you when you wont even accept yourself.

The most influential person in my life has been:

My grandfather was the most influential person in my life other than my parents. I was his only grandchild and he was my only living grandparent. He was my first and really, only babysitter and my best friend. He truly loved me unconditionally. He was passionate about his career, his family, and learning more about the world around him. He encouraged me to do well academically and professionally and was proud of the accomplishments I achieved, no matter how small. I know what a real man and true love is supposed to look like because of his outstanding example.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

I am thankful for my loving and supportive parents and their long, happy marriage. Thanks to them, I know what love and commitment looks like.
I am thankful for my friends, as they are as close and important to me as family.
I am thankful for having been blessed to live in comfort and security for my entire life.

Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
Being a good friend and companion

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I am sensitive, can be shy, and need reassurance. I think people make assumptions about what a shy, sensitive person who could use some encouragement now and then looks or acts like and perhaps I don't fit their view of that type of individual. Wit, heels and lip gloss tend to throw folks off; look deeper!

The things I can't live without are:

Wet wipes.
Books.
Music.
Clearance racks.
Really big purses.

The first thing people notice about me:

People tend to notice my sense of humor. I consider making someone laugh to be one of the highest compliments, closely followed by "You're so funny!".

Some additional information I want you to know:

I don't understand the appeal of the 'Twilight' series (which I, admittedly, have neither read nor watched. . . the whole way through. Ahem.) phenomenon. Like not even a little bit.

Why waste your time on this?? You are trying to sell yourself to men. Men arent into twilight...they could care less. The additional info is telling about yourself like what you like to do, what your dream are, do you have a dream vacation you would love?

My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I enjoy spending time with my friends either in our respective homes or out on the town; reading both fiction and non-fiction; and watching a variety of television shows and movies. I do enjoy working out, but my motivation to do so ebbs and flows more than I'd like it to.
Be specific. What TV what movies???

Also..you havent mentioned anything you like to do for fun outside of a house. a guy wants to say they share interests in what you do for fun outside of the home. you dont say any of this. the guys know little about you.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I recently finished Josephine Carr's "The Dewey decimal system of love". It's a short little book, but I kept putting it down so I could savor it. Is it the best, most profound book ever written? Probably not. But Carr so accurately captures the type of woman who chooses to become a librarian it's as if she interviewed me for the book. Plus, it's funny!

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

Funny
Dependable
Articulate
Intelligent

Hi. So, I hear all the time from family, friends, and strangers alike about how "beautiful" I am (think a cross between a pre-plastic surgery Janet Jackson, Jill Scott, Kerry Washington, and every other black female contestant on "American Idol". Apparently. I'm on the thick side, with freckles, and a good dresser.) and constantly get asked why I'm not married, yet I am the unluckiest girl when it comes to dating and love. I'm not even going to tell you how long it's been since I've had sex. It's A LOT longer than you think. We've all been there -- nothing worse than a dry spell! Anyway, I'm trying eharmony AGAIN. I don't get many responses from my matches, though to be perfectly honest, I find the majority of them. . . disappointing. Why do you find so many of your matches disappointing? What are you looking for that they lack? Can you accurately determine that from a profile? Hate to be so glum, especially since you're probably thinking "Well, THAT'S why she's so unlucky in love!" Your - whomever the collective "your" is on the Interwebs - feedback is greatly appreciated, and probably needed. Just be gentle, please. And thank you very much.

The one thing I am most passionate about:

I am passionate about learning as much as I possibly can and having a greater understanding of the world around me.

I would expand on this answer -- what inspired your passion, and what are you doing to foster your passion?

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Acceptance. I am looking for a man who will accept me as I am, who will like and love me even if there are times that it may be hard to do so. I'm looking for a man that I will be more than enough for; one who will think (and eventually say) "She's the one I've been waiting my whole life for".

I'm not sure about this answer. I think I understand what you mean, but consider whether you could phrase it in a more positive manner.

The most influential person in my life has been:

My grandfather was the most influential person in my life other than my parents. I was his only grandchild and he was my only living grandparent. He was my first and really, only babysitter and my best friend. He truly loved me unconditionally. He was passionate about his career, his family, and learning more about the world around him. He encouraged me to do well academically and professionally and was proud of the accomplishments I achieved, no matter how small. I know what a real man and true love is supposed to look like because of his outstanding example.

Very good!

The three things which I am most thankful for:

I am thankful for my loving and supportive parents and their long, happy marriage. Thanks to them, I know what love and commitment looks like.
I am thankful for my friends, as they are as close and important to me as family.
I am thankful for having been blessed to live in comfort and security for my entire life.

Very good!

Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
Being a good friend and companion

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I am sensitive, can be shy, and need reassurance. I think people make assumptions about what a shy, sensitive person who could use some encouragement now and then looks or acts like and perhaps I don't fit their view of that type of individual. Wit, heels and lip gloss tend to throw folks off; look deeper!

I like this answer, but some men may read into it that you're high maintenance. Consider whether you want to clarify the answer.

The things I can't live without are:

Wet wipes. Do you have kids? This is an unsual choice!
Books. Expand -- what authors, what genres?
Music. Expand -- what bands, what genres?
Clearance racks.
Really big purses.

The first thing people notice about me:

People tend to notice my sense of humor. I consider making someone laugh to be one of the highest compliments, closely followed by "You're so funny!".

Very good!

Some additional information I want you to know:

I don't understand the appeal of the 'Twilight' series (which I, admittedly, have neither read nor watched. . . the whole way through. Ahem.) phenomenon. Like not even a little bit.

I understand that you're going for sarcastic humor, and I like it.

My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I enjoy spending time with my friends either in our respective homes or out on the town; reading both fiction and non-fiction; and watching a variety of television shows and movies. I do enjoy working out, but my motivation to do so ebbs and flows more than I'd like it to.

Provide more detail -- what do you do with friends? What types of books? Which TV shows do you like?

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I recently finished Josephine Carr's "The Dewey decimal system of love". It's a short little book, but I kept putting it down so I could savor it. Is it the best, most profound book ever written? Probably not. But Carr so accurately captures the type of woman who chooses to become a librarian it's as if she interviewed me for the book. Plus, it's funny!

Very good!

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

Funny
Dependable
Articulate
Intelligent

I've only been around here for a day and I just KNEW that ami1uwant would be the first to jump in. I'm laughing out loud. Really.

Your thing sat here for about 5 hrs without any reply. I do have a life outside of this site.

Thank you for your input and suggestions. The "Twilight" thing is a joke and meant to be read as such. It also ties in with my chosen profession, which is librarianship. If it is really that terrible, I will consider changing it. Um, I think "out on the town" and "working out" would imply places outside of my home, but I will elaborate if necessary.

The "twilight"didnt read as a joke. remember you are writing in text so jokes will be easily missed.

"working out" implies what to you??? You dont describe it. "going out of town could easily mean you go to the neighboring town and go to the mcDonalds.

I live in a metro area so "I go out of town" all the time.

THE FOLLOWING IS MY OPINION/FEELING/BELIEF AND MINE ALONE: I think the biggest problem is that as a black woman, I'm not that desirable to many men involved in online dating. Or in person dating, for that matter. Most of my matches are white, which is fine. I'm an equal opportunity dater. I just don't feel that people are as comfortable with interracial dating as they'd like others to believe. I have a gazillion closed matches it seems; many of them are white men. . . and black men. Which I also assumed. Anyway, I'm going off on a whole other topic.

That is absolutely not true. Coming from someone who is currently dating someone originally from latin america. It has everything to do with your profile. The other thing I havent addressed yet are your pictures. If your pics arent any good then you are SOL.

.
Thanks again for your feedback, ami1uwant. Your suggestions have been noted and shall be considered. I do initiate on occasion (meaning, when I find the person at least somewhat physically attractive and/or their profile makes me laugh.) and I have a 60 mile radius. Anything further just seems stupid. And age is seven years younger (25 year-olds have gotten really delectable) and seven years older. I originally had it set to 10, but many of my matches looked far, far older and I couldn't deal.

Well honeylemon, in life we have choices. Ditto for online dating. We can either fix that which is within our control (our profile, our pictures, our clothes, our negative attitude, etc.) and try our best or we can fingerpoint and blame the world for our lack of success, carry our bitterness around like a large chip on our shoulder that unintentionally seeps into all aspects of our life (including our dating profile and casual communications), and wallow around in whiny, defeatist, "woe-is-my-lot-in-life" self-pity. One of these two is far more attractive to potential partners and far more conducive to a successful dating life.

Your choice which you select.

And FWIW, ami1uwant's feedback on the areas of your profile that needed work was spot on.

+1 what ami1uwant told you. At the moment, your profile is holding you back. It's lacking in specifics (passions, what you do with friends, books, tv, music, working out, etc.). Perhaps you're afraid that the more you say the less people you'll appeal to. To a degree, that's true. If you told us exactly who you are, maybe only 15% would be interested. Both those 15% would be really interested! Right now, you're sorta "blah" to most. I would be unlikely to respond to you, unless you happen to be drop-dead gorgeous! Then your words wouldn't matter all that much.