mustlovehockey86 is offline mustlovehockey86 Post #1  February 8,2012, 5:34pm
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My one match and I have had varying response times. At first though the guided communication we would each respond once a day. Then when we got to the email stage, he took 4 days to respond, but when he did he stated that first emails are always awkward and he wrote an interesting email and said hope to hear from you soon!. I was reluctant to respond soon but was going to busy for the next few days so I responded right away. Two days later he responded with another good email. Once again I was going to wait to respond, but I had plans for the next few days and just responded within a few hours when I got home from work. Once again he is taking his time to respond. I realize something I wrote in the email may have put him off, or maybe he is busy but I question our random response times and wonder if he thinks I am too attached because I respond quickly. Does anyone have any advice on this? And guys how do you feel when a girl responds right away?
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #2  February 8,2012, 5:49pm
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Word of advice:

Too much email. Once you get to OC, you should seriously consider an actual meet in person (in a safe place, obviously) and get to know someone that way. Even the most generic hour-long coffee date can reveal 20x the information that gets spread out over the course of a 2-month long GC/OC email chain.

I like when a girl responds right away - it certainly beats the alternative of having good GC and then nothing at all. So far in my first month on EH, I have gotten to OC with 4 matches, one hasn't responded in 2 weeks (but still checks my profile every 3 days which is puzzling) I've been on 2 dates with one, have a weekend date lined up with another and have a date early next week with the third. As is the case with all 3 of them, i asked them in my first OC that I enjoyed the GC process but a phone call or a get together is way more personal and ultimately its why we signed up. All 3 responded with numbers.

You are not on EH to exchange emails, you are here to date and look for a relationship.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #3  February 8,2012, 5:52pm
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You need to just breathe....Do things in the manner and speed in which you want to...Do not project or try to assume a negative onto him based on this...

People get matched and go through GC to Open Comm. all in a day, or a week....Exchange phone numbers and then call once or twice to plan the date....
If they are local....than it's really about getting to that first date within a week or two max depending on how long to get to the phone call planning part..

But to worry and hold off on your end because you are worried about it being a negative....that thought needs to go! Relax...have fun....and hopefully end up getting to that first date...

Keep in mind that as each step progresses....there are times that someone may just stop communicating...or they find something that just doesn't match with them...so they poof...

Keep communicating with other men....still be trying to flirt and date men out in the real world....Just make sure you are living your life and are not all consumed with one aspect..

It's either going to be moving forward or stalled and stopped....Only pay attention to those moving forward....

Good luck and have fun!!!
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #4  February 8,2012, 6:02pm
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I believe that response time is influenced by level of interest. But, that isn't concrete. Some people are legitimately busy while others are not computer savvy. Then you have those who prioritize matches and will respond according to level of interest.

I am going through this right now and although I am not a fan of delayed response communication, I will give someone the benefit of the doubt if said person briefly explain her situation. If not, then I will administer a finite time period in which after that time is exceeded, I will respond appropriately with a close and move on.

As for advice, simply inquire about his response time in a non confrontational manner and hopefully you will receive the answer you are seeking.

B.Y.
Last edited by BabyYoda; February 8,2012 at 7:49pm.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #5  February 8,2012, 7:01pm
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mustlovehockey86 wrote :
My one match and I have had varying response times. At first though the guided communication we would each respond once a day. Then when we got to the email stage, he took 4 days to respond, but when he did he stated that first emails are always awkward and he wrote an interesting email and said hope to hear from you soon!. I was reluctant to respond soon but was going to busy for the next few days so I responded right away. Two days later he responded with another good email. Once again I was going to wait to respond, but I had plans for the next few days and just responded within a few hours when I got home from work. Once again he is taking his time to respond. I realize something I wrote in the email may have put him off, or maybe he is busy but I question our random response times and wonder if he thinks I am too attached because I respond quickly. Does anyone have any advice on this? And guys how do you feel when a girl responds right away?
I view response time as an indication of interest. I would never view a prompt response as being clingy or too attached.

However, I would view having to wait several days for my match to respond as a lack of interest, be this correct or incorrect. If the interest was there but they took several days to answer my e-mail because they were too busy that would still be the same end as they would be too busy to be dating me.

And if I was to suspect that a match was purposely waiting for a certain number of days to respond, that is game playing and that is a deal breaker for me.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #6  February 8,2012, 11:52pm
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There are no set "response times ". He may have a plethora of matches to email , set up dates with and meet....That's what most people do when they get to eH mail...since it is a dating , not. pen-pal site .
Setting up dates an meeting people takes priority over eH mail exchanges.

Have either he or you exchanged contact info or suggested setting up a meeting?........Good Luck...
mustlovehockey86 wrote :
Then when we got to the email stage, he took 4 days to respond
I responded right away. Two days later he responded

I was going to wait to respond, but I had plans for the next few days and just responded within a few hours

Once again he is taking his time to respond.

I question our random response times
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #7  February 9,2012, 3:07am
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I'm a quick responder. I get an email that a match has communicated, and I follow-up. I call that efficiency and keeping things off my plate...easy to do with a smart phone. I like when my matches are the same way.

Why are you in email exchange limbo-land? One of you should suggest meeting. At this point, I would have at least talked to the guy and have a date on the books if he seemed interesting or have moved on if he seemed clueless about asking for a date or was otherwise not my cup of tea.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #8  February 9,2012, 4:36am
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arrange to meet and stop being penpals.
 
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mustlovehockey86 is offline mustlovehockey86 Post #9  February 9,2012, 8:01am
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Thanks for the advice but we live far away and setting up a meeting isn't easy.
 
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barbarella_42 is offline barbarella_42 Post #10  February 9,2012, 8:36am
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How about phone calls, then?
 
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