AwesomeOne23 is offline AwesomeOne23 Post #1  February 7,2012, 8:59pm
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What to say in the first email can be very nerve wracking. You don't want to send a message so cheesy or creepy that the reader will delete it. But you also don't want to send a boring message, For example, hey, how's it going? What you say in the first email and how you say it will determine whether or not the person reading it will message you back or not. How would you send someone a message that would be enticing and inviting without being to cheesy about it?
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #2  February 7,2012, 11:25pm
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I usually ask about something interesting in their profile or some commonality that will spark some conversation.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #3  February 8,2012, 6:45am
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Asking a (light hearted) question is always good. It gives someone something to respond to.
And while Hey or Hello in a subject line is fine, it can help seperate you from the crowd if say something different there. For example, if she mentioned something in her profile about being a Redskins fan you could send her an email like:
Subject: Redskins Fan?
Body: Days like Superbowl Sunday must be really hard hard for you (maybe insert a smile or lol, maybe not). Who did you end up cheering for?

It's not 'deep' but then again, neither are most conversations when you meet someone IRL. I think the more closely you can mirror that and get to more substantial interaction (phone, meeting in person) the better. If your profile paints you as a person not just looking for a casual fling, then I think it's fine (and frankly, better) to be more lighthearted in initial conversations.
 
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Bethiegirl is offline Bethiegirl Post #4  February 8,2012, 6:54am
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I never send a message without going through GC first, but my rules for the first OC message are as follows: 1) Let the guy know I'd like to continue into OC, and 2) Give him something to respond to that will require him to write more than a one-sentence reply.

For example, I usually just send something like "I really enjoyed getting to know you through Guided communication and would like to get to know you better!" Then I ask about something he said in the GC or in his profile (especially if a point in the "Something to talk about" box stood out to me), but I stay away from anything very personal in the first message! Once in a while, I'll offer up a little more info about myself, but not always...sort of depends on what I asked him about. So far, I've had really good luck with that sort of first message.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #5  February 8,2012, 3:10pm
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What I like--

  1. Mention something that shows you read my profile and think we actually have something in common.
  2. Ask me something that I can respond to.
  3. Keep it short.
  4. Demonstrate that this will not be an e-mail marathon in futility...e.g. provide your phone number and suggest we speak by phone.
  5. (optional) If you can, make me laugh.

Hope that helps.
 
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meanminicooper is offline meanminicooper Post #6  February 8,2012, 5:52pm
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Its been great getting to know you better in this process. You seem very interesting and I would like to hear more about X and Y. I find that email is impersonal and I am a lot better in person or on the phone. Would it be okay to contact you so we can try to schedule a time to have a conversation either in person or over the phone?
 
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AwesomeOne23 is offline AwesomeOne23 Post #7  February 8,2012, 10:52pm
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Thanks everyone, my current method of emailing someone consists of saying hey, how's it going or you seem nice can you tell me more about yourself, etc...and usually when I say this I never get a response back. Questioning someones interests is a good way to break the ice I suppose.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #8  February 9,2012, 12:15am
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You may be used to free and match style sites....Which starts with a shotgun approach of lame emails to attempt to get a hit.

eH works differently..with the questions back and forth... you gather information /material to start the open messaging with..

Stop thinking OKC,POF and match........Just go with the excellent suggestions above...by picking something in the guided communication process and start with that....Good Luck...
AwesomeOne23 wrote :
Thanks everyone, my current method of emailing someone consists of saying hey, how's it going or you seem nice can you tell me more about yourself, etc...and usually when I say this I never get a response back. Questioning someones interests is a good way to break the ice I suppose.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #9  February 9,2012, 4:00am
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AwesomeOne23 wrote :
Thanks everyone, my current method of emailing someone consists of saying hey, how's it going or you seem nice can you tell me more about yourself, etc...and usually when I say this I never get a response back. Questioning someones interests is a good way to break the ice I suppose.
So, let me get this straight. You are approaching me...and you want me to tell you why you should be interested in me?? In other words I need to do all the work when you make the approach? Umm...that doesn't work if you try to pick me up in real life, and it certainly won't get a response from me online either. You have my profile. Read it. We've also just gone through Guided Communication. Surely something came up that could be used as a starting point. And unless you're totally hot and seem perfect for me in every way, "Hi" or "Hey there" with nothing else won't cut it either. I am looking for specific interest in me. I'm really not interested in someone who mass e-mails everyone, hoping that someone...anyone, really...might respond. That's a turn-off if I suspect it.

Try to focus on what interests you about the person. And if you can, try to be funny or witty. That really works with me. Showing your personality matters.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #10  February 9,2012, 6:25am
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I've had experienced that 'so tell me about you' approach to questioning and I feel the same way as Emma. The last time someone asked me that question it was because she wasn't putting the effort in to ask me an intelligent real question.

I've started almost all first emails with a simple introduction, a 'thank you' comment regarding her taking the time to complete the GC process and then a simple question at the end before I sign off. No "how you doing?" etc!
 
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