Profile review please, swm-34


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NotGettingYounger is offline NotGettingYounger Post #1  February 7,2012, 2:21pm
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I promise I will return the favor when a woman post one of these.

The one thing I am most passionate about: Enjoying life, improving myself and my surroundings, maintaining solid family and friendly ties. I am a single father of a 16 year old daughter who I love very much. I have a great life but with a big hole where a cute girl should be.




The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: Someone to have substantive conversation with, who likes to give and is comfortable taking.



Basic Information

Occupation: Real Estate Age 34 Height 6' 2" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: Several times a week Smokes: Never

In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

Clark Howard- Save more, spend less...


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • Being who, when, and where I am.
  • Being sane in an insane world.
  • My health.

Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Making improvements and repairs around the house
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Managing my finances


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I am quite sociable outside of work.


The things I can't live without are:

  • Nothing really. I'm a trooper.
  • The clearance rack at Lowe's.
  • K&W cafeteria. A soild meal for less than $4.
  • A really hot shower.
  • A good mattress.


The first thing people notice about me:

Beatrice at Lowe's once told me when I walked up, "You're a very intense person." I'm not real smile-y. There are things to do and I intend to do them. I save my smiles, humor, etc. for those who I care about.


Some additional information I want you to know:

I am really good at a lot of things. Interacting with women I am attracted to isn't one of them. Think of the most staggeringly stupid thing a guy you liked ever said to you, and assume I will say that, and it won't even occur to me that it is inappropriate. If you can get past that, you've struck gold.


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

Eating out, traveling, conversation with friends.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I just finished Uncle Tom's Cabin, which I picked on a whim and I was blown away. It might be the best piece of fiction I've ever read, like a great novel and a thesis rolled into one.


According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

  • Dependable
  • Genuine
  • Intelligent
  • Hard Working
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #2  February 7,2012, 3:04pm
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NotGettingYounger wrote :

The one thing I am most passionate about: Enjoying life, improving myself and my surroundings, maintaining solid family and friendly ties. I am a single father of a 16 year old daughter who I love very much. I have a great life but with a big hole where a cute girl should be. This is a random mish mash of information and the last sentence and just pathetic and screams desperate. Passion - think why you chose your career, a hobby you love, a cause you believe in and work for or fight for. Pick one thing and expand on it. How did you get into it, what do you get out of it, etc.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: Someone to have substantive conversation with, who likes to give and is comfortable taking. ??? Give what and take what? Explain because as written it doesn't make any sense.

Basic Information

Occupation: Real Estate Age 34 Height 6' 2" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: Several times a week Quite a few people may see that as alcohol issues and have a knee jerk reaction Smokes: Never

In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

Clark Howard- Save more, spend less... I have no idea who this person is....a self help book??? Explain. People are looking for reasons to close you out - don't give them one with a vague answer. You have no chance to explain anything once someone hits that close button.

The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • Being who, when, and where I am. This reads arrogant and once again I'm not clear on what you have in mind here
  • Being sane in an insane world. Again at first glance can read super arrogant and looking down your nose at the world while sitting your high horse.
  • My health.
Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Making improvements and repairs around the house
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Managing my finances
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I am quite sociable outside of work. A realtor who is not social at work???!!!! Last time I checked realtors can't survive if they are not social.

The things I can't live without are:
  • Nothing really. I'm a trooper. Since you did fill out the rest, the doesn't really make sense. It doesn't have to be a literal response as you well illustrated below
  • The clearance rack at Lowe's.
  • K&W cafeteria. A soild meal for less than $4.
  • A really hot shower.
  • A good mattress.

The first thing people notice about me:

Beatrice at Lowe's once told me when I walked up, "You're a very intense person." I'm not real smile-y. There are things to do and I intend to do them. I save my smiles, humor, etc. for those who I care about. This really comes across as highly off putting. My impression is that you are kind of an unpleasant person. The type to be rude to strangers because they don't matter, they are not part of your "special" circle.

Some additional information I want you to know:

I am really good at a lot of things. Interacting with women I am attracted to isn't one of them. Think of the most staggeringly stupid thing a guy you liked ever said to you, and assume I will say that, and it won't even occur to me that it is inappropriate. If you can get past that, you've struck gold. This is an ad for you and as such it's a good idea to present what's good about you. Nothing in your profile gives me any earthly reason to get past anything. Much easier to hit close and move on to men who are nicer.

My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

Eating out where, what kind of food, traveling where? beach or mountains, town next door or across the world?, conversation with friends. This section leaves a lot to be desired. People read this one carefully to try and get a glimpse of your life, what they might have in common with you, how they might fit in. This really doesn't say anything. Add information and add details.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I just finished Uncle Tom's Cabin, which I picked on a whim and I was blown away. It might be the best piece of fiction I've ever read, like a great novel and a thesis rolled into one.


According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

  • Dependable
  • Genuine
  • Intelligent
  • Hard Working
My detailed comments above. Keep in mind that I'm not commenting on you as a person, only on how your profile comes across to someone who doesn't know you. You really need to work hard to present yourself as someone who is actually nice and approachable. As written, I'd close your profile in a heartbeat if matched.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #3  February 7,2012, 3:51pm
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NotGettingYounger wrote :
I promise I will return the favor when a woman post one of these.

The one thing I am most passionate about: Enjoying life, improving myself and my surroundings, maintaining solid family and friendly ties. I am a single father of a 16 year old daughter who I love very much. I have a great life but with a big hole where a cute girl should be. First, you are a man, right? So, you should be looking for a (beautiful) woman, not a "cute girl". This is my opinion as a woman and not a "girl".




The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: Someone to have substantive conversation with, who likes to give and is comfortable taking. This part is OK but not great. Can you expand just a tiny bit?



Basic Information

Occupation: Real Estate Age 34 Height 6' 2" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: Several times a week Smokes: Never

In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

Clark Howard- Save more, spend less... Really? Do you know the guy? Pick someone you have actually met and interacted with in person.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • Being who, when, and where I am.
  • Being sane in an insane world.
  • My health.
Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Making improvements and repairs around the house
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Managing my finances

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I am quite sociable outside of work. And....???


The things I can't live without are:

  • Nothing really. I'm a trooper. Yet, you finished out the list with...
  • The clearance rack at Lowe's.
  • K&W cafeteria. A soild meal for less than $4.
  • A really hot shower.
  • A good mattress.
You can actually expand these things a little - Why a good mattress? Why a hot shower? You can show humor is this part with one liners.


The first thing people notice about me:

Beatrice at Lowe's once told me when I walked up, "You're a very intense person." I'm not real smile-y. There are things to do and I intend to do them. I save my smiles, humor, etc. for those who I care about. Eh... could be worse, I guess. What you are telling me here is that you have a permafrown (I have one too) and that you look mean. Is this how you want your potential dates to invision you before they have even had the chance to meet you in person??

Some additional information I want you to know:

I am really good at a lot of things.(comma, not period here) Interacting with women I am attracted to isn't one of them. Think of the most staggeringly stupid thing a guy you liked ever said to you, and assume I will say that, and it won't even occur to me that it is inappropriate. If you can get past that, you've struck gold. You're just handing a reason to close you to them on a shiny platter. A shiny gold platter, that is. If you want to include some of this, cool, but add some "good" stuff too. This is far too negative.


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

Eating out, traveling, conversation with friends. So does my mom. What else you go? Time with your daughter? (good place to put info about that little bit of your life)

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I just finished Uncle Tom's Cabin, which I picked on a whim and I was blown away. It might be the best piece of fiction I've ever read, like a great novel and a thesis rolled into one. I like this part.


According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

  • Dependable
  • Genuine
  • Intelligent
  • Hard Working

See my notes in color above.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #4  February 7,2012, 4:58pm
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I am not your target audience.......but I agree point by point with Dancing Fool on your rprofile.

These concepts she is talking about is universal for all profiles. You need to get away from cliches and say something that is more personable. The women reading your profile will want to know hoe they fit in to your life, do you have something in common like interests?

Another issue I saw...you should clarrify. You mention you have a 16 yr old daughter and your are open to kids. With you being 36, this means your age range is rougly 30-40....so...how are you goign to handle dating someone in their early 30s who hasnt had children yet? Do you want to start again with a baby?

You have to remember in profiles people are looking for reasons NOT to date you. You have alot of them. They way you wrote can be read two very drastically different ways depending on who reads it.

You may very well be a great guy but it comes off not well.

A big flag is you drinking many tims a week. That sreams an alcoholic problem or one you will have in the future.

You just read uncle toms cabin.....some may be wondering about your intellectual capabilities because MOST people read uncle toms cabin in high school. Adding that to you havng a kid at 20, and being a real estate agent (not much education required), you drink several times a week (likely beer--thinking you were the high school football team player/party boy), the world is insane--meaning you dont undertand it, being who/when/where I am (getting daddy's little trust fund)...it says this is the first book you read in over 20 years. The only reason you read it is because of your daughter was reading it.


This is an impression your profile gives....

Do you read other books that arent classics? IF you gave a story about what made you read it possibly again it may come off very differently.


Is there a story with your daughter that you two always do together???? If you have one share it, and personalize it by not using cliches.
 
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NotGettingYounger is offline NotGettingYounger Post #5  February 7,2012, 6:19pm
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A lot of this makes a lot of sense. I will say I really did not like the eH format for a dating profile- compared to what I have used in the past it struck me as very narrow and limiting. This would help explain the one problem I knew of before I posted this: the first item being a mish mash because it struck me as a strange first item in a profile and there was no other good spot to put what I see as critical info for a dating site.

I'm going to post my other profile here for (hopefully) one more round of feedback to see if that more freestyle format comes across any more positively. Certainly some of the same issues will come up but I am curious how many.
Last edited by NotGettingYounger; February 8,2012 at 6:04am.
 
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NotGettingYounger is offline NotGettingYounger Post #6  February 7,2012, 6:20pm
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BTW, thank you all for the feedback.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #7  February 8,2012, 11:41am
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Let's focus on one profile at a time. I'm going to move your other profile to it's own thread in the Dating board.
 
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NotGettingYounger is offline NotGettingYounger Post #8  February 8,2012, 12:02pm
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Fair enough, I wasn't even sure if this was the right forum for this except that someone else had theirs posted here. I have redone the original based on the above comments that I can post here.
 
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NotGettingYounger is offline NotGettingYounger Post #9  February 8,2012, 12:09pm
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Here is version 2. Have at it. Thank you for your thoughts.

The one thing I am most passionate about: Raising my daughter as best as I possibly can, history, architecture, historic preservation, self-improvement, genealogy, leaving a good legacy, and success.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: A positive attitude. Someone who enjoys substantive conversation and who will continue to learn and improve alongside me. A beautiful woman to raise beautiful well-adjusted children with.



Basic Information

Occupation: Real Estate Age 34 Height 6' 2" Wants Kids: Yes Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Spiritual, but not religious Drinks: Several times a week Smokes: Never

In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

Two people, my daughter came into my life and inadvertently steered me in a positive direction, and my grandfather who lived through hell in many ways and came out on top of it all.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • Being born in the USA in the era of modern medicine
  • Being healthy, sane, and fortunate and the same for most of my family and friends
  • Being able to succeed outside of the 9 to 5 box

Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Making improvements and repairs around the house
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Managing my finances


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

That I am quite sociable outside of work, that I am not quiet for lack of things to say but because the wise man listens, that I have all sorts of opinions but they are only given out on request.


The things I can't live without are:

  • Foreclosure listings- it's become my livelihood.
  • The clearance rack at Lowe's.
  • K&W cafeteria. A soild meal for less than $4.
  • A really hot shower.
  • A good mattress.


The first thing people notice about me:

I'm tall, generally quiet, often deep in thought, and almost always working on some task.


Some additional information I want you to know:

I have a 16 year old daughter who is an integral part of my life. I was never married and her mother is completely out of the picture and I haven't seen her for over 15 years. I am with her every day and of course she takes priority in my life, though lately she has been far too cool to hang out with her dad.


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

Eating out, especially Mexican, Thai, Italian, and Southern, traveling outside of the country whenever possible, so far I've been to various places in Europe and North and Central America and hope to go everywhere else. Egypt is at the top of the list. Watching comedy and going out for trivia and pool with friends. Taking my daughter to the movies and the beach and teaching her to drive. She also goes along for the travel.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

I just finished Uncle Tom's Cabin, which I picked on a whim and I was blown away. It might be the best piece of fiction I've ever read, like a great novel and a thesis rolled into one.


According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

  • Dependable
  • Genuine
  • Intelligent
  • Hard Working
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #10  February 8,2012, 1:23pm
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I don't think the several times a week drinking thing is that big of a deal. Drinking heavily several times a week, sure, but if you have a beer or a glass of wine 3 nights a week, at least to me that's not an issue at all. But I'm a dude and not a female (hence why I don't usually comment on dude profile reviews).
 
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