Deleted eH profile, but considering again..


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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #11  February 10,2012, 9:09am
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Perky!

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Baggage, bitterness, and ingratitude are DEET to healthy human relationships.

...and victims never win. We are all ultimately responsible for our life choices.
 
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cbm64 is offline cbm64 Post #12  February 11,2012, 9:11am
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SteveManchesterEngland wrote :
We're talking about your profile here and already with no prompting you;ve off loaded a load of bitterness about a girl who "dumped me twice".

What I read is someone you lacks judgement, doesn't take responsibility and allows himself to be forced to do things ie. forced to accept the photo, forced to date this girl.

My point is..... if you're going off on a tangent and off loading this baggage onto Emma when it really has nothing to do with the topic, you're likely to be like this when you're emailing people or in person.

Even if it just takes a little bit of nudge.


Reverse the roles here and imagine a girl who told you this in an email or conversation:-

"The girl who took my profile photo is a narcissist (wife of a friend who's way too good for her, so I put up with her for his sake and their son's sake). .......... and it doesn't help that she guided me into dating a crazy man who, having met him and talked to him for a while, should've known something was amiss with him. He apparently turned down marriage proposals in the past and tried to come onto her. No surprise now that he dumped me twice. But I digress"


I think your profile photos are part of the problem but suspect you also talk to people and off load baggage that puts them off.

I think you're reading too much into this, and your suspicions are false. I don't unload baggage on people on short notice like this. Not that many people I've spoken to since this happened are aware of it or other stuff that's happened in my past. - especially the women that I've approached and/or dated since this happened. What set me off was thinking about this guy (with whom I've had other dealings not having to do with dating/relationships or that woman in particular), the fact that I had suspected all along both photos may have been subpar, and finding out that my suspicions were apparently not totally false just set me off. I regret that I allowed him and the woman I spoke of to set me off like that.

Also:
  • I wasn't forced into accepting the photo. Yes, I had misgivings about it, but then again, many people aren't all that crazy about their photos. So I thought it was just me being hypercritical at the time. It was only a few months ago that I began to suspect both photos may have had something to do with this.

  • I wasn't forced into accepting the date. I chatted with that women via e-mail and had several phone conversations with her. She seemed normal enough at first, and we really did hit it off. I was hardly dragged into that "kicking & screaming." And I do admit that I should have seen some warning signs. Still, some feedback from my photographer friend would've been nice. to know - perhaps I could've put "two & two together."

Nevertheless, I went off on a tangent that I should not have done. I'm not going to discuss this any further.
Last edited by cbm64; February 11,2012 at 9:57am. Reason: Rephrasing things
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #13  February 11,2012, 11:21am
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Perky!

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My guess is the guy was honestly trying to help you. Why would someone take time out of his day to take your picture? Do you really think he was trying to sabotage you getting a date on an online dating site? He set you up with someone he thought you might like. You didn't. It happens. Let it go and move on instead of reading ulterior motives into everything. The quality of the photo is amazing. The pose is not, but is something some guys might think would work.

What guys think makes them look attractive or cool or whatever to women, is often quite different than what actually does. I have seen it all among my matches, and the reasons they give for a particular shot can mind boggling.

My suggestion would be to have your sister take your photos. Or if, as you basically said in earlier posts, everyone around you is either incompetent or out to get you, a professional photographer will do. At least this way you get to blame a perfect stranger in the next go-around when you aren't having much dating success. As Steve points out, there are likely other reasons playing into your results besides the two photos. Might be worth considering.

Best of luck!
 
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