PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #1  February 5,2012, 9:27pm
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Grr... I was on a good 4 day run of no instant closes (but not much communication either) and then I got 5 insta closes and the one new match I was communicating with (answered her stage 3 questions, sent her mine) closed me as well... And we are back to square 1 again.

I think "What If" people are more likely to instaclose... I should keep some stats on that or something.

I guess instacloses are better then no communication at all/waiting to respond, but its still annoying.

At least the 1 great match I had that I skipped straight to OC with is in "waiting to respond" and has looked at my profile twice without closing me (maybe a record for people who dont actually respond).
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #2  February 6,2012, 12:52am
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If you are getting matches...then is definitely the profile that's putting them off. So either consider a better rewrite..or continue with the same results.....

But complaining about instacloses when you know what the problem is and not changing it ...is not going to get results...Good Luck...
PG-13 wrote :
I got 5 insta closes and the one new match I was communicating with (answered her stage 3 questions, sent her mine) closed me as well...
I think "What If" people are more likely to instaclose... I should keep some stats on that or something.
 
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charmed59 is online now charmed59 Post #3  February 6,2012, 6:52am
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Closes aren't always bad. These could be ladies that aren't into the outdoors, or who live too far away for them to want to start a relationship.

Having read your profile on the other thread, though it may not attract women, I can't see it being bad enough that ladies would close him just because of the profile. Unless there is something specific in there that just isn't a match, like the love of outdoors, or distance.

For the record, I'm not anywhere close to the OP's age range, but I don't camp. Not one of those things I compromise on. If their profile said they'd like someone to share their love of camping with, I did close them. We would make a bad match.
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #4  February 6,2012, 8:47am
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Just for reference sake Wise, these closes occurred before I came anywhere close to disclosing my current living situation. So its a separate problem from the much discussed one over on the other board.
 
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ConfusedonEH is offline ConfusedonEH Post #5  February 6,2012, 9:37am
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How do you know you have been instaclosed? I would like to know if someone instacloses me?
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  February 6,2012, 10:05am
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ConfusedonEH, he is talking about women closing him before they start communication. No questions have been answered by either side. If someone closes you they should either move to your Archived tab or even Closed tab automatically, depending on the setting you choose.
 
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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #7  February 6,2012, 12:43pm
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Pg-13,
I agree with Charmed59- closes aren't always bad. If she saw that she was lacking some quality that was very important t oyou (like love of the outdoors) don't you think she did the right thing by closing?
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #8  February 6,2012, 2:40pm
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Don't know why you are focusing on this. No one is going to hit it off with every profile. I close most of my matches. And some of those I send questions to, gasp, close me as well.
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #9  February 6,2012, 10:02pm
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Tango, I consider instacloses to be the people that I send 5 questions to that close me after looking at my profile. As I said when I started posting on the board, I feel like the majority of matches that I find interesting and that look compatible close me after I send the 5 questions out (I had 3 more today).

As far as people who close me before any questions get sent, I don't really care about that...

By sending questions, I'm showing interest and I'd at least like to get through some part of GC before I get the door slammed in my face.
 
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boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #10  February 7,2012, 8:43am
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PG-13 wrote :
Tango, I consider instacloses to be the people that I send 5 questions to that close me after looking at my profile. As I said when I started posting on the board, I feel like the majority of matches that I find interesting and that look compatible close me after I send the 5 questions out (I had 3 more today).

As far as people who close me before any questions get sent, I don't really care about that...

By sending questions, I'm showing interest and I'd at least like to get through some part of GC before I get the door slammed in my face.
I think the hardest part is you aren't going to know why it is happening. That said, I know I'm personally inclined to go through GC unless I know there is no change I would ever be attracted to someone or there is a big red flag in their profile. However, there is no way of knowing if other women approach it the same way.

As was mentioned in the thread earlier I take this to mean you might need a profile overhaul vs. making small incremental tweaks. I have some thoughts but to keep this thread on track, will go post them on your profile review.
 
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