lissa783 is offline lissa783 Post #1  February 5,2012, 7:18am
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I have had the worst experience with eh this time. My 3 months is almost up, I have not gotten a match in over a week. I finally get a match and he is over 200 miles away. Location is set to 60 miles with highest importance. It seems that eh is not listening to what I am looking for. It has matched me with people who say they smoke and drink on a regular basis and have children, all of these things are not what I am looking for and I have clearly stated that with high importance. Last time I was on here I got a lot of good matches and several dates, this time only 2 people started contact with me and not a single person I sent questions to responded. Very disapointed customer here.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  February 5,2012, 9:52am
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It sounds like eH IS listening to what you want, you just want something (or someone) who eH cannot match you with. Your settings may be too tight. There may just be no one who fits your criteria, period. You don't expect them to fabricate matches for you, do you?

While I understand having most of your settings set as "most important" that makes it less likely eH can find someone. Would someone who lived 75 miles away be so bad? How about a guy who was one year older than your max age? One year younger? You also have to consider that you have to match their settings as well. And, your profile needs to be appealing, with decent pictures.

If you are using your "old" account (that is the one you used the last time you were on eH) then you can't be matched with the same people you were matched with before. You also can't be matched with someone you closed who may be it active again.
 
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OlderButWiser0549 is online now OlderButWiser0549 Post #3  February 5,2012, 10:40am
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lissa783 wrote :
I have had the worst experience with eh this time. My 3 months is almost up, I have not gotten a match in over a week. I finally get a match and he is over 200 miles away. Location is set to 60 miles with highest importance. It seems that eh is not listening to what I am looking for. It has matched me with people who say they smoke and drink on a regular basis and have children, all of these things are not what I am looking for and I have clearly stated that with high importance. Last time I was on here I got a lot of good matches and several dates, this time only 2 people started contact with me and not a single person I sent questions to responded. Very disapointed customer here.
This pretty much parallels my own experience on eHarmony. I had a one-year subscription that ended last August and the results were OK; but since signing up for another 3-month stint on New Year's Day, eHarmony's performance has been pathetic. Lots of dead profiles, many matches way outside my stated preferences, matches with no photos and/or incomplete profiles... the works.

All I can suggest is to go elsewhere, try another dating site. I'm having pretty good luck on OKCupid and will probably give Match.com a try soon.

I certainly won't be subscribing to eHarmony again.
 
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lissa783 is offline lissa783 Post #4  February 5,2012, 12:34pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
While I understand having most of your settings set as "most important" that makes it less likely eH can find someone. Would someone who lived 75 miles away be so bad? How about a guy who was one year older than your max age? One year younger? You also have to consider that you have to match their settings as well. And, your profile needs to be appealing, with decent pictures.
.
No you are right, 75 miles wouldn't be too bad, but I live in CT and my last match was in NJ. I am not driving over several states just for a date. Also yes, a year off would be ok, but when my max age is 33 and it is matching me with 39 year olds, sorry but over 10 years over my age is too much. Deal breaker is smoking for me and I have been matched with smokers, I won't waiver on that one at all. I also don't want to be matched with people who drink several times a week, just not my thing. It is not listening to me, I would rather get no matches than bad matches. I won't be signing up for this service again. I am having much better luck with other sites. I am sure this works for some people, but just not me. I also do believe I have decent pictures on my profile, but decent is in the eye of the beholder, and no my picture on here isnt one of them. I just threw something up on here.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  February 5,2012, 12:42pm
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I'm just wondering if there is any tweaking you can do to get more/better matches. FWIW, I wouldn't eliminate the "several times a week" drinking selection, only because that could mean many things. I know people who have A drink every night with dinner (ie wine), but do not drink to excess or to get drunk, so stating otherwise would be deceptive.

Lessen the importance of your distance or extend it out one notch. You might actually end up with more matches closer to you by doing this. Also, do you have the height preference set at Very Important? If so, make it Not Important. That one is a weird one and I think it can hinder you being matched with men who fit your preferences. It did for me anyway.

Use these last few days to mess around with your settings a bit. Actually, adjust all of them at once and then leave it. If you keep messing with your settings you won't get many matches at all. The system is touchy when you adjust too much.
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #6  February 5,2012, 5:48pm
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Admittedly I only had my eH profile active for a month or so before getting into a LTR with a colleague, but I have some advice on the subject. It parallels Andie's. I turned nearly all of my setting wide open. Doing this resulted in tons and tons of matches. More than I could reasonably contact even had I wanted to. It's not like it takes much effort to scan through them and delete the ones who are inappropriate. Too far - close, too young - close, not attractive - close, can't spell - close, sounds crazy - close, etc. It's a pretty small amount of sweat equity to find someone to love, and eliminates the possibility of some incredible person escaping unseen because they lived a quarter of a mile to far away, or were otherwise an out-lier on you personal spectrum of possibility.
 
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ScubaSteve21 is offline ScubaSteve21 Post #7  February 5,2012, 9:00pm
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well i do agree with you, my one month is almost gone and I dont know if I wanna get charge the 44.99. I send out a lot of communication, only 4-5 girls responded, the rest closed. I was like you not getting any matches until i changed my settings
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  February 6,2012, 10:16am
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lissa783 wrote :
No you are right, 75 miles wouldn't be too bad, but I live in CT and my last match was in NJ. I am not driving over several states just for a date. Also yes, a year off would be ok, but when my max age is 33 and it is matching me with 39 year olds, sorry but over 10 years over my age is too much. Deal breaker is smoking for me and I have been matched with smokers, I won't waiver on that one at all. I also don't want to be matched with people who drink several times a week, just not my thing. It is not listening to me, I would rather get no matches than bad matches. I won't be signing up for this service again. I am having much better luck with other sites. I am sure this works for some people, but just not me. I also do believe I have decent pictures on my profile, but decent is in the eye of the beholder, and no my picture on here isnt one of them. I just threw something up on here.

Its likely you are constraing your matches too much not just on the distance or age but on other settings such as religion.

If you have your settings at 75 miles that should cover all of new york city then correct???

The genral recomendation are to have your settings for age span 10 years like if you are 28..have them pan 23-33 or 25-35 or some other range.

With distance you should have it for 100 miles.

The other settings you may have some high priortiy on some other criteria that is kilkling your matching.

In your area you should be getting 4 per day.
 
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ShinyShoes is online now ShinyShoes Post #9  February 6,2012, 8:16pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
Also, do you have the height preference set at Very Important? If so, make it Not Important. That one is a weird one and I think it can hinder you being matched with men who fit your preferences. It did for me anyway.
Under what tab is the Height Preferences? I'm looking under Basic, Distance, Personal, and Background and Beliefs and I can't find it.
 
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needbeachnow is offline needbeachnow Post #10  February 6,2012, 8:47pm
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ShinyShoes wrote :
Under what tab is the Height Preferences? I'm looking under Basic, Distance, Personal, and Background and Beliefs and I can't find it.
I did not see that as an option anymore... I think they took it away
 
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