cookiemonster7 is offline cookiemonster7 Post #1  February 5,2012, 6:12am
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So, I was supposed to meet a match today who I was on the fence about, and it appears that he's archived me! We had started communicating via text yesterday.

Does anyone actually do this before they meet someone? It seems to me like a huge signal that he's changed his mind, but I am trying to be less cutthroat with my closing and archiving of matches if they do something "wrong" (like take too long to respond to me.)

What gives? If he texts me should I still go out with him? I'm thinking no.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #2  February 5,2012, 6:14am
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How would you know that he archived you? I thought that only closed messages were sent.
 
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cookiemonster7 is offline cookiemonster7 Post #3  February 5,2012, 6:18am
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He now appears in my "Archived Matches" tab instead of "Communicating" - I have a setting that automatically archives them, if they've archived me.
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #4  February 5,2012, 6:19am
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It's quite possible that he believes closing / archiving is OK since he's moved communication outside of eH. Why don't you call him and find out?
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #5  February 5,2012, 6:23am
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Is that really how it works? I thought that if I archived someone it was not relayed in any way to them, just a place to store them in my lists. I had no idea that every time I archived someone it appeared on their list, too. Are you sure about that?
 
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cookiemonster7 is offline cookiemonster7 Post #6  February 5,2012, 6:24am
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tweet37 wrote :
It's quite possible that he believes closing / archiving is OK since he's moved communication outside of eH. Why don't you call him and find out?
I suppose I could... I've just never encountered anyone in my years of eHarmony who's done the archive thing before meeting. I just don't want to miss the hint, if you know what I mean.
 
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cookiemonster7 is offline cookiemonster7 Post #7  February 5,2012, 6:28am
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Ephemera wrote :
Is that really how it works? I thought that if I archived someone it was not relayed in any way to them, just a place to store them in my lists. I had no idea that every time I archived someone it appeared on their list, too. Are you sure about that?
Yeah I always thought that's how it worked - in your settings you can choose to automatically archive a match if they archive you. You can, however, keep your settings as is, so if someone archives you, you don't archive them automatically, and vice versa. My opinion is that if someone archives me I'll archive them right back... haha.
Maybe I'm wrong though?
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #8  February 5,2012, 6:41am
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I prefer to close a match prior to a first meeting - one way or the other, I will never need to look at her profile again.

That said, I also mentioned it in an e-mail, to avoid exactly your concern / reaction.

This doesn't bother me, and I would show up for the meet as scheduled. If it makes you more comfortable, you might send a message confirming the meet, or a message as you're about to depart, with the pretext of giving notice of your expected arrival time.
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #9  February 5,2012, 10:04am
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cookiemonster7 wrote :
So, I was supposed to meet a match today who I was on the fence about, and it appears that he's archived me! We had started communicating via text yesterday.
If he made plans to meet you, that's all that should matter, isn't it? How he chooses to organize his matches isn't really important.
Last edited by nick222; February 5,2012 at 10:13am.
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #10  February 5,2012, 10:06am
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My settings say that I can choose to have matches that close me automatically archived. There is no option to have matches that archive me automatically archived.
 
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