Stab_7 is offline Stab_7 Post #1  February 4,2012, 7:42pm
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Hi! I have only been on the site for about a month (paying member) but I feel like I haven't had much success. Please review and let me know if anything stands out! Thanks!


The One Thing I am most passionate about:
I am passionate about making a good life for my daughter and helping her to develop into a healthy and happy young lady. I love singing, listening to live music and discussing politics and world issues.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Honesty is definitely number one. I am a person who is very trustworthy and I expect that in retrun from anyone I am close to. I feel that communication is also a huge part of a healthy relationship.

Basic Information:

Occupation:Public policy
Age: 29
Height: 5'7"
Wants Kids: Maybe
Kids at Home: Yes
Religion: Spiritual but not religious
Drinks: about once a week
Smokes: Never



The most influential person in my life has been:
My best friend from college. She has dealt with a lot of adversity in her life and has come trhough it with a positive attitude and a remarkable strength of character.



The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • My beautiful daughter. She is the most wonderful little girl anyone could ask for.
  • My Family. Through thick and thin we know we can rely on each other.
  • Roller Derby. This sport has reignited a pasison in me, introduced me to many wonderful people and helps me to maintain an active and healthier lifestyle.
Three of my best life skills are:
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things
  • Maintaining a network of close friends
The one thing I wish more people would notice about me:
I can be really light hearted and I have a knack for making my friends laugh! I tend to be shy at first so my fun loving side sometimes gets overlooked.



The things I can't live without are:
  • My daughter
  • Roller Derby (noticing a pattern here?!?)
  • My family
  • Coffee
  • Music
The first thing people notice about me:
My openness. I try not to judge and to always try and view situations from the other person's perspective. I think it is because of this that people often confide in me even when they don't know me very well.


Some additional information I want you to know:
I am laid back and can have fun in just about any situation!


My interests:


I typically spend my leisure time:
I enjoy reading, playing with my daughter and taking her on adventures. I also anjoy taking walks, hiking or going trail skating when there is no snow on thr ground. A night in with a good movie once in awhile is a nice break from my generally hectic schedule.


The last book I read and enjoyed:
The last book I read was The Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. I have recently read a few of his books and I really enjoy his unique world view.



My friends describe me as:
  • Perceptive
  • Caring
  • Loyal
  • Intelligent
 
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Stab_7 is offline Stab_7 Post #2  February 4,2012, 7:47pm
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Sorry, I am a Female! Haha
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  February 4,2012, 11:09pm
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Stab_7 wrote :
Hi! I have only been on the site for about a month (paying member) but I feel like I haven't had much success. Please review and let me know if anything stands out! Thanks!

First off--- This chat site and eharmony matching service are entirely separate. The people on this site are not necessarily active members on Eharmony dating. Many of them have at some point in the past were members of Eharmony. All of them have used some sort of dating site to meet people at some point.

How are you measuring success in terms of matches ?communications ? dating?


The One Thing I am most passionate about:
I am passionate about making a good life for my daughter and helping her to develop into a healthy and happy young lady. I love singing, listening to live music and discussing politics and world issues.

The last part of what you said could go elsewhere

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Honesty is definitely number one. I am a person who is very trustworthy and I expect that in retrun from anyone I am close to. I feel that communication is also a huge part of a healthy relationship.

Honesty---if I had a dollar----Who doesnt want honesty? Think of something else please....you need to be different. Get away from cliches and try to personalize your profile.

What is something you value in someone you will want to marry beyond the obvious of honesty, trust., etc.

Basic Information:

Occupation:Public policy
Age: 29
Height: 5'7"
Wants Kids: Maybe
Kids at Home: Yes
Religion: Spiritual but not religious
Drinks: about once a week
Smokes: Never



The most influential person in my life has been:
My best friend from college. She has dealt with a lot of adversity in her life and has come trhough it with a positive attitude and a remarkable strength of character.




The three things which I am most thankful for:
  • My beautiful daughter. She is the most wonderful little girl anyone could ask for.
  • My Family. Through thick and thin we know we can rely on each other.
  • Roller Derby. This sport has reignited a pasison in me, introduced me to many wonderful people and helps me to maintain an active and healthier lifestyle.
Roller Derby---this is good---IT STANDS OUT---CATCHES THE EYE....This would be the better thing to put under Pasionate about and talk a little more as to why it matters to you and what is your roll.

Three of my best life skills are:
  • Raising and/or caring for children
  • Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things
  • Maintaining a network of close friends
The one thing I wish more people would notice about me:
I can be really light hearted and I have a knack for making my friends laugh! I tend to be shy at first so my fun loving side sometimes gets overlooked.




The things I can't live without are:
  • My daughter
  • Roller Derby (noticing a pattern here?!?)
You cant do that pattern when you repeat the same thing all over the profile it gives the impression that it rules your life and youre a fanatic. Thus, you dont have time to date. This is true if you talked about god, religion, your children, your athletic activity such as running.
  • My family
  • Coffee
  • Music
The first thing people notice about me:
My openness. I try not to judge and to always try and view situations from the other person's perspective. I think it is because of this that people often confide in me even when they don't know me very well.


Some additional information I want you to know:
I am laid back and can have fun in just about any situation!



My interests:


I typically spend my leisure time:
I enjoy reading, playing with my daughter and taking her on adventures. I also anjoy taking walks, hiking or going trail skating when there is no snow on thr ground. A night in with a good movie once in awhile is a nice break from my generally hectic schedule.

Understand you have a child who you take care of and do things with.....You need to put here what interests you have if you were to go out on a date without your child. You dont mention things you like to do that a guy will say hey I interest that too. BE SPECIFIC---say what types of music/movies/TV shows you like.


As a guy I want to feel like I have something in common with you based on interests or hobbies or even liking the same TV shows or bands.

The hectic schedule comment says YOU DONT HAVE TIME for a relationship. why bother communicating with you.

The last book I read and enjoyed:
The last book I read was The Anansi Boys by Neil Gaiman. I have recently read a few of his books and I really enjoy his unique world view.




My friends describe me as:
  • Perceptive
  • Caring
  • Loyal
  • Intelligent
see above in blue.

Also at your age...your profile pics really do matter. You need to look attractive to get responses. Guys will look at the pics first before reading your profile.

What are your age and distance settings for matches? Do you inititate communication?

I dont know what your were expecting but finding your dream catch doesnt happen overnight.
 
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Stab_7 is offline Stab_7 Post #4  February 5,2012, 6:01am
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Thanks for the feedback. I do not expect to find something special in a month, or even a year, but it seems that I get a LOT of matches and next to no communication. I have been putting myself out there and sending GC requests and they just seem to go nowhere. It may be due to some of the stuff you addressed in my profile.

I like to think I am a fairly attractive lady. I do believe my profile photos reflect that.
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #5  February 5,2012, 7:01am
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Don't take this the wrong way, but I would seriously cut down on the instances of your kid appearing in your profile. There is nothing wrong with mentioning and alluding to having kids... but you're looking for a date not a baby sitter, so keep it to a minimum. It always flabbergasts me that people put pictures of their children on a dating site. Your kid has no say in whether his image gets plastered all over the internet for strangers to see. Talking about your children has always seemed to me like something best left for the guided communication stage.
 
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Stab_7 is offline Stab_7 Post #6  February 5,2012, 4:22pm
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Reverse_Dragon wrote :
Don't take this the wrong way, but I would seriously cut down on the instances of your kid appearing in your profile. There is nothing wrong with mentioning and alluding to having kids... but you're looking for a date not a baby sitter, so keep it to a minimum. It always flabbergasts me that people put pictures of their children on a dating site. Your kid has no say in whether his image gets plastered all over the internet for strangers to see. Talking about your children has always seemed to me like something best left for the guided communication stage.
It's quite obvious that you do not have children. My daughter is a huge part of my life and I want to weed out those individuals that are not interested in someone who already has kids. Why would I waste my time with someone who is offended or put off because I love my daughter enough to want to talk about her? I understand I don't want to go on endlessly about her, but it is what it is and I have a kid.
 
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Shelaw is offline Shelaw Post #7  February 5,2012, 5:34pm
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I am a mom, too. In fact, not only do I have 2 biological children, I have devoted the past 15 years to being a surrogate mother to hundreds of children, all who call me "Mom." But my dating profile is about ME, the woman, not the mother. I say in mine that I have children (in answer to the question about children), that I am passionate about helping children who are in need, and that my son is the person who has influenced me the most. Beyond that, I leave out the kid stuff. Your profile leaves the impression that a man will not only be dating you, he'll need to include your child.

In the aggregate, about your daughter you say:
I am passionate about making a good life for my daughter and helping her to develop into a healthy and happy young lady.
My beautiful daughter. She is the most wonderful little girl anyone could ask for.
The things I can't live without are: My daughter
I enjoy ... playing with my daughter and taking her on adventures.

Here is how you can downplay your daughter enough to keep it real but not overwhelm a potential match before he ever talks to you:

Revised:
I am passionate about being a great parent. I love rollerblading, music, and intelligent conversation.
[3 things you are thankful for]: My daughter. My family. Rollerblading.
[The things I can't live without are]: My daughter, family, rollerblading, coffee
[Leisure time] I enjoy reading, taking walks, hiking, and trail skating. I'd like to share some of my leisure time cuddled up on the sofa with a good man, a good movie, and a good glass of wine from time to time, too.

You might also want to fix your typos. To some men, typos and misspellings are a sign that you might be less intelligent than they desire.

After that, the most important thing you can do on eHarm is to follow the Guided Communication. If you make the first move with a match, simply send a wink. Nothing more till the man replies. And before you send the ice-breaker, look to see how long its been since he was active. "Today" is good. "Three weeks ago" is not good. Skip the guys who haven't been active lately. Then, pay attention to your "home" page. It will show you who has viewed your profile. If you are ice-breaking with men who then look at your profile but don't respond, then, yeah, something is wrong if it happens a lot. Once or twice is normal; 20 times is not.
 
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Reverse_Dragon is offline Reverse_Dragon Post #8  February 5,2012, 5:40pm
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Stab_7 wrote :
It's quite obvious that you do not have children. My daughter is a huge part of my life and I want to weed out those individuals that are not interested in someone who already has kids. Why would I waste my time with someone who is offended or put off because I love my daughter enough to want to talk about her? I understand I don't want to go on endlessly about her, but it is what it is and I have a kid.
True... I don't yet have children. There is a section of your profile that says 'Have Kids?'... also it is one of the matching criteria. It asks you if you would date someone who has kids... anyone who says no to this will never be delivered to you as a match in the first place. I don't mean to imply you should avoid talking about your kids. I just think your profile should be all about you.

If I read that you are 'most passionate' about your kids, my reaction is likely to be 'Well... duh!'

It doesn't really tell me anything about you as a person, what you like to do, what drives you and makes you light up like a christmas tree. I'm sure your kids do... but what else does? Putting that your kids are important strikes me as the same as putting under hobbies that you enjoy oxygen, nutrition, and H20. Undoubtedly true... just not particularly helpful.
 
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VB_Girl is offline VB_Girl Post #9  February 5,2012, 8:01pm
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I agree with the others that you should limit the amount of times you mention your daughter. Its like beating someone over the head that you have a child when you repeatedly mention that fact. I also think your profile is a bit repetitive. Try and make each section a little unique.

I agree with moving roller derby to the passion section. It's unique and would capture a readers attention instantly.

Consider expanding on the adversities your friend has overcome and how that's helped you.

Finally I think the hectic life implies very little time to date and when you do have time, it's going to feel rushed.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #10  February 6,2012, 7:34am
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I have a daughter and I found my special someone on EH.

I agree with the others.

Your profile is very two-dimensional. You need to show that you are a smart, sexy, vibrant woman who has stuff going on in her life. That is attractive. It appears from your profile that what you mainly have going on is your daughter. A profile is meant to highlight the adult you. The woman a man wants to date. At this stage, although he wants a caring woman/a nurturing woman....he isn't looking for a nanny or someone who's entire life revolves around a child. (Obviously, if he is a parent he understands what it takes to be a good one). Who were you/what did you love before kids??? Have you totally lost that woman?

Other than roller derby you are light on lifestyle stuff. Lifestyle compatiblity is huge. "music" What kind of music? Madonna or Metallica or opera or Garth? See the difference???

What kind of books? Hobbs, or tech journals, romance novels or Grisham? What kind of tv? CSI, Judge Judy or Downton Abbey? What kind of food? Vegan, bbq, sushi....?

You know that old joke you can tell what a woman's personality is from what she drinks? Umbrella drinks or shots of tequila or white zin or jack and coke....your reader hasn't the foggiest idea of you.

Hit each subject once. Give a well rounded picture. Be specific.

Best. K
 
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