llw11 is offline llw11 Post #11  February 5,2012, 8:48am
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Ephemera wrote :
I form more of an intellectual connection with someone that I've taken the time to get to know a bit through e-mail (I'm not really much of a phone person). For me a cold meet generally makes no connection at all. Just another face.
I'm finding this as well but i also see the extended email/texting fizzling out after a while as i've experienced this as well. Its hard to find the balance. I can honestly say that I've never found a cold meet first date to be awkward. The last couple I went on lasted about 2.5-3hrs each but there wasn't any connection at all. Would things have been different if we had taken time emailing for a while? Guess I'll never know.
 
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redmaple is offline redmaple Post #12  February 5,2012, 11:50am
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Everyone has a different comfort level with this. When I first started, I was pretty timid and it took me a bit of time to work up the nerve to meet. Even though things didn't work out long term, I'm really thankful for that first guy who was incredibly patient and who helped me warm up to the process. Now, I prefer to meet after exchanging a couple of emails, so usually within a week or so.

One thing that I've found to be helpful is to ask matches how they tend to pace things. I'll say something like, "What's your preference for getting to know people on here? I'm sure everyone has a different style and paces things differently. I guess I lean toward exchanging a couple of emails and finding a time to meet if there's mutual interest, but I'm flexible if that's not comfortable for you." That helps to get us on the same page and I've never had anyone drag things out.
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #13  February 5,2012, 9:23pm
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I always ask right away what they are comfortable with... I haven't gotten a second date with anyone (7 first dates) and they were all over the board as far as how many emails/calls were sent. I do think that the people I got to know better before the actual date lent itself to a better dating experience.
 
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