How long do I wait for the other person to respond?


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LeahNYC is offline LeahNYC Post #1  February 1,2012, 8:21am
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I became a member to see what eharmony is like and it has been a month now. Some of the matches I have gotten are ok and some I'm not interested in. I have recieved a hand full of requestes from those who do not interest me, I admit ; however, I received a communication request last week from a person whose profile I have not seen until that time and I was very interested so respond back, and we have reached stage 4 (eharmony mail). The problem is sending the first eharmony mail is his call; I am unable to send him a message, and it's been two and a half days since he read my answers to "his 2nd questions". Can anyone tell me what this means? Does this mean he is not interested? Or is he hoping that I would email? How long do I wait until I give up on this match?
 
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Goomph is offline Goomph — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  February 1,2012, 8:31am
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At that stage I usually give them until they respond. It is weeks before I close a match at that stage because you never know what is really going on.

If they made it all the way to almost OC, they are somewhat interested and might have a good excuse. Or, they are no longer interested as they are now dating someone they like or got into a relationship.

The fact is, since you do not know why they are not initiating OC and close it after a few days, you might be missing a good match. You have nothing to loose by giving them a few days to respond.

I just went OC with a match today. She had been waiting for two days for me to write, but I did not have the time/state of mind I wanted to allocate for it. So my advice is, please be patient and give people a lot of time.

Good luck !
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #3  February 1,2012, 8:38am
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It's not like you ever run out of room on EH, so just leave that one open, and focus on other matches. He'll either respond, or he won't. If the ball is in his court there is nothing you can do.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #4  February 1,2012, 9:04am
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if the nudge option is available use it. otherwise if you dont hear from him in a week or 2 then consider sending an ice breaker in order to wake him up.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #5  February 1,2012, 10:22am
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If you wait a few more days the Nudge option will become available. I would just be patient however. Once you reach steps 3 and 4 is where the big lag almost always happens. People get nervous at the prospect of something becoming "real" or they just don't know what to write in an e-mail.
Last edited by AndieIsMe; February 1,2012 at 5:58pm. Reason: typo
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #6  February 1,2012, 10:32am
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LeahNYC wrote :
How long do I wait until I give up on this match?
I always waited as long as it took if I was really interested in the person, since there is nothing to lose by doing so. You never know when somebody may stop communication for any number of reasons (membership expired, life got busy, they decided to be exclusive with someone else for awhile, etc.) or when they may start it up again in the future.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #7  February 1,2012, 11:04am
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Leave him open and forget about him. One common mistake that all those new to the online thing make is getting attached to profiles. Don't be too quick to judge whether someone is good or bad (bar blatant red flags in the profile) because all you are really judging is a person's ability to write and market themselves. Some fantastic people may be absolutely terrible at it and some not so great people in real life may be brilliant at it. I would encourage you to keep an open mind, respond to the majority of your matches, initiate communications with everyone who seems normal and actually talk to them, meet them and see what they are like in real life. You really can't judge much based on pixels on the screen.

Trying to meet people from an online introduction is similar to sales. You have to have a stocked pipeline and realize that most of your meets and greets will not go beyond that. No matter how you meet people - online, friends, hobbies, work, etc. - finding that person you mutually click with is hard and rare.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  February 1,2012, 2:25pm
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on this person at stage 4.....

He may be nervous as you. Some newbies tend to look at open communication as a MAJOR step so they will wait and decide who to talk to first.

IT also depends on your conversation and how it went. he could have seen your responses and was disappointed with what you said to him so he marked you as not intresting.

Its possible he is thinking he needs to write an essau which takes time to write or he is thinking about how to open this response with.




As for these other matches.....question for you....why do they not interest you?

Is it looks? something they said in their profile?

Many times people are not good with photos but are much better in rel life.

What drives your attraction...common interests?

Id suggest you just communicate with them and see how it goes. By vommunicating with them through guided communication or open communicatioin you arent committed to marrying them...nor even dating them.
 
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myusernamehere is online now myusernamehere Post #9  February 1,2012, 4:13pm
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Indefinitely. There's no rush.
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #10  February 2,2012, 4:14am
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just as a caution - quite a few reach stages 3 onwards and then nothing happens. Only when you get a phone number should you get excited!
 
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