Yes to Long Distance. Include in profile?


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theycallmeV is offline theycallmeV Post #1  January 30,2012, 9:11am
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hi! I've been on eharmony a few weeks now and I've noticed guys in my area are a lot more responsive then guys who are states away.....

But I'm not really apposed to the whole long-distance thing. Yeah, I can see it slowing down the initial meeting and dating but I don't want to archive or close a match just because of where he lives. If it comes down to it, I could picture myself moving for the love of my life. Yes I have ties here, serious ties, but if I really found the right guy (by this I mean, we've made the effort to meet many many many times and are at the point of committing long-term) and he couldn't uproot his life to live with me, I could see myself willing to move to him.

Now... question is, should I include this detail in my profile? Or does it sound too crazy/desperate?

And if not... any advise on how I can get those long-distance matches to take me seriously? lol!
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #2  January 30,2012, 9:22am
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Better not to mention this in the profile it sounds aimless and desperate. It can look as though you have no life and will uproot everything for anyone. Also... most people are not looking for long distance, or want to uproot for someone..

Be prepared for matches looking for an out-of-town thing....especially stating in the profile.

Much better to simply adjust your distance settings behind the scenes..that way you will receive long distance matches...who will also accept this, and not put off local matches.....Good Luck....
theycallmeV wrote :
I've noticed guys in my area are a lot more responsive then guys who are states away.....

If it comes down to it, I could picture myself moving for the love of my life.

he couldn't uproot his life to live with me, I could see myself willing to move to him.

it sound too crazy/desperate?
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #3  January 30,2012, 10:31am
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You don't need to say anything, but rather accept their behavior for what it is - low interest. You saying that you are willing to move, etc. is not going to increase their interest in you and you are just assuming that it's distance, when in reality it could easily be other things that are causing low interest that don't even have anything to do with you. Also, if you are being matched, it means that they are open to distance matches as well, otherwise you would not get them as matches. Bottom line is that you can't make people do what they are not interested in doing.

Respond to those who are responding promptly and don't worry about the rest. Distance will always be slow because people would prefer to avoid dealing with matches far away. Local matches will always take priority unless someone considers you so exceptional of a match that it's worth it to ignore the distance and make you a priority.
 
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theycallmeV is offline theycallmeV Post #4  January 30,2012, 11:31am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Be prepared for matches looking for an out-of-town thing....especially stating in the profile.

Much better to simply adjust your distance settings behind the scenes..that way you will receive long distance matches...who will also accept this, and not put off local matches.....Good Luck....
True! Thank you, can't believe I didn't think of that!
 
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theycallmeV is offline theycallmeV Post #5  January 30,2012, 11:33am
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DancingFool wrote :
Also, if you are being matched, it means that they are open to distance matches as well, otherwise you would not get them as matches. Bottom line is that you can't make people do what they are not interested in doing.

Respond to those who are responding promptly and don't worry about the rest.
Good point! thanks
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #6  January 30,2012, 11:39am
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Long distance relationships are very complicated. The associated problems are immense.

Unless you live in Wyoming or the far north searching for long distance makes no sense.

(DUDE! I made a rhyme! : D)

Why don't you start local. THEN if you can't find anyone, or aren't getting matches, move further out.

Being far away makes it absolutely no MORE likely that a guy is the love of your life. It only means it will take longer to screen out those who aren't.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #7  January 30,2012, 1:01pm
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Those not looking for long distance will put their distance at something like 50 miles away.

Others are more open to long distances to a point...and this is a short comming of the EH system. Some may be open to moving to certain cities because of their career field but not everywhere in the state. Someone will say I can relocated to Chicago in my career but I cant relocated to Springfield, IL or their field is high tech so they know they could find work in the San Fran/San Jose area but not so in LA.

Someone else may be living in Boston currently but is originally from Philadelphia where they have family so theyd be open to relocate back there.

Just because you two are matched doesnt mean you necessarily fit his criteria based on where you live.

Like I had some communication with some people who were settled in some small town/rural areas where I just could not find a job in my field.

I would not assume anything initially....this came out in talking to them and finding out how open they were to relocating...whether it was me moving there or them to me or we agreed upon a third location we would both move to. Id ask this early in the communication to find out if there even was a shot. If not then id would just move on.

What some people do as a way around this problem is that theyrotate their location every 3 weeks or so to different cities and get local matches. They may live in Denver and open to moving to Seattle, Portland, San Diego, or San Jose but before they decide they want to see what their prospects may be like before deciding.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #8  January 30,2012, 1:05pm
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As for long distances...they can work...but you both have to want it.

Some are open to those two hrs away, but less for those 6 hrs away.

Some will leave long distance open to see if they can get that lost soulmate they are looking for. they are going to be much much more picky with long distances onces than if they were in the same metro area as them.
 
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