bgallag is offline bgallag Post #1  January 28,2012, 6:20pm
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Joined: Jan 2012

Maryland

Posts: 8

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The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate for my family and friends.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for someone who is laid-back, and who has a sense of humor.



Basic Information

Occupation: I am job-searching right now. Age 34 Height 5' 0" Wants Kids: Maybe Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: A few times a year Smokes: Never
In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

A friend and a mentor to me. She is a wonderful and kind person. She tutors children with special needs, and also mentors adults. She is very laid-back, patient, and a good listener, as well as giving sound advice. I try to learn from her traits and emulate her.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • I am thankful for a wonderful, loving, and supportive family.
  • I am thankful for supportive and loyal friends.
  • I am thankful for the area in which I live in.

Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Maintaining an organized life
  • Being a good friend and companion
  • Maintaining a network of close friends


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I am an extremely loyal person.


The things I can't live without are:

  • My family
  • My friends
  • Pets
  • Books / internet
  • iPhone / techie gadgets


The first thing people notice about me:

I think they notice my smile.


Some additional information I want you to know:

Feel free to ask!


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I enjoy spending time with family and friends. I also enjoy reading at home, talking on the phone, and mystery-shopping. I also enjoy using the internet and iTunes. Once a month or so, I will attend a social group in Baltimore. I also just joined a book-club here in Annapolis, that also meets once a month. Currently, I am also taking a class, and I am thinking about pursuing more classes at the community college. Of course, I also enjoy watching television during the week, or a good movie or two during the weekend. About every couple of weeks I try to catch a new movie that's out.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

The last book I read was "The Help". It was a great book, and I wanted to read it before I saw the movie. I also love anything by John Grisham. Hoping to get his new novel for Christmas, as I have his entire collection. I am an avid reader, and I also like to write, be it poetry or short stories.

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

  • Funny
  • Dependable
  • Caring
  • Loyal
Last edited by bgallag; January 28,2012 at 6:25pm. Reason: Title.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #2  January 28,2012, 10:17pm
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Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

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Fotr all of you to have your profile critiqued...simply copy and paste your profile reponses into here.

You click on the button for setting up a new thread...then past your profile. Then make some edditing changes in case it destroys spaces between the paragraphs.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #3  January 28,2012, 10:24pm
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Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

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bgallag wrote :
The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate for my family and friends.

non answer.....passionate about is why you chose your career, is there an interest or hobby you love and will not give it up for anyone, is there something you volunteer for or a cause you fight for.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for someone who is laid-back, and who has a sense of humor.



Basic Information

Occupation: I am job-searching right now. Age 34 Height 5' 0" Wants Kids: Maybe Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: A few times a year Smokes: Never
In my own words

I understand the job issues now...even though you may be unemployed you need to say what field you are in. This is a big issue with many in your age range.

The most influential person in my life has been:

A friend and a mentor to me. She is a wonderful and kind person. She tutors children with special needs, and also mentors adults. She is very laid-back, patient, and a good listener, as well as giving sound advice. I try to learn from her traits and emulate her.


The three things which I am most thankful for:


  • I am thankful for a wonderful, loving, and supportive family.
  • I am thankful for supportive and loyal friends.
  • I am thankful for the area in which I live in.
Three of my best life-skills are:


  • Maintaining an organized life
  • Being a good friend and companion
  • Maintaining a network of close friends

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I am an extremely loyal person.


The things I can't live without are:


  • My family
  • My friends
  • Pets
  • Books / internet
  • iPhone / techie gadgets

The first thing people notice about me:

I think they notice my smile.


Some additional information I want you to know:

Feel free to ask!

another non answer---this is where you tell them what your interests are...what you do for fun.....something so they think they have something in common with you. What are your favorite musice? TV shows? movies? And why you liked them.

My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I enjoy spending time with family and friends. I also enjoy reading at home, talking on the phone, and mystery-shopping. I also enjoy using the internet and iTunes. Once a month or so, I will attend a social group in Baltimore. I also just joined a book-club here in Annapolis, that also meets once a month. Currently, I am also taking a class, and I am thinking about pursuing more classes at the community college. Of course, I also enjoy watching television during the week, or a good movie or two during the weekend. About every couple of weeks I try to catch a new movie that's out.

What is this social group for?

The last book I read and enjoyed:

The last book I read was "The Help". It was a great book, and I wanted to read it before I saw the movie. I also love anything by John Grisham. Hoping to get his new novel for Christmas, as I have his entire collection. I am an avid reader, and I also like to write, be it poetry or short stories.

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:


  • Funny
  • Dependable
  • Caring
  • Loyal
see above
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  January 29,2012, 5:46am
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Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,322

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Have you thought this profile and wording out? It is hard to determine if you are male or female, looking for friends, or have any interests besides books and TV /movies.

Is this all you are will to say about yourself on a profile? Also "looking for a job" is not an occupation, rather..... state your field or profession.

If you think some things through and answer some of the sections and questions with interesting, different aspects of yourself...you may be able to transform this into a profile people will read and respond to....Good Luck...
 
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Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #5  January 29,2012, 6:15am
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is watching the little sleeping mousies.

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Joined: Aug 2009

East Coast

Posts: 1,158

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To me this reads as a ESL profile; which I've nothing against, but you really should get a friend or teacher to guide you through it. Without trying to hurt or offend I do need to say that it sounds like you might be a couch potato/television junkie. And that might work for some, but not probably for many. Honestly - I'd scrap it and start all over. There is probably so much more to you than you've shared it that profile. I know it could be so much better and more representational of you. Don't lose hope and really put your all into it.
 
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bgallag is offline bgallag Post #6  January 29,2012, 9:08am
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Joined: Jan 2012

Maryland

Posts: 8

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Thank you for all of your help! I am not ESL. I just wasn't sure what to put, or the length of the answers. I know guys don't like to read. . j/k. But what is too little or too much of an answer?

But these are all good tips, thanks again.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #7  January 29,2012, 9:28am
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Joined: May 2009

Posts: 6,322

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You can go through this section and view other profiles and their reviews. Yes conciseness is better...but saying not anything someone can relate to will not catch anyone's attention either...Try putting some thought into it before writing...

If you want it this vaugue and generic it's best you have knock-out gorgeous pics..because the wording as it is here will prompt most people to move on to more thoughtful, interesting ones...Good Luck..
 
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bgallag is offline bgallag Post #8  January 29,2012, 2:48pm
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Joined: Jan 2012

Maryland

Posts: 8

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Okay, here are my new answers. Please let me know what you think? And please tell me what is so wrong with it? Most of the critiques are pretty vague. Thank you

The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate for volunteering for the causes I care about. Right now I am volunteering at a homeless shelter.


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for someone who is laid-back, and who has a sense of humor.



Basic Information

Occupation: Secretary Age 34 Height 5' 0" Wants Kids: Maybe Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: A few times a year Smokes: Never


In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

A friend and a mentor to me. She tutors children with special needs. She is very laid-back, patient, and a good listener, as well as giving sound advice.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • I am thankful for a wonderful, loving, and supportive family.
  • I am thankful for supportive and loyal friends.
  • I am thankful for the area in which I live in.

Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Maintaining an organized life
  • Being a good friend and companion
  • Maintaining a network of close friends


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I've been told that I come up with witty one-liners sometimes.


The things I can't live without are:

  • My family
  • My friends
  • Pets
  • Books / internet
  • iPhone / techie gadgets


The first thing people notice about me:

I think they notice my smile.


Some additional information I want you to know:

I did the bar scene when I was younger and got rather tired of it, so I decided to try online dating.


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I enjoy spending time with family and friends. I also enjoy reading at home, talking on the phone, and mystery-shopping. Once a month or so, I will attend a social group in Baltimore, which is basically to meet other young adults in the area. I also just joined a book-club here in Annapolis, that also meets once a month. Of course, I also enjoy watching television during the week, or a good movie or two during the weekend. About every couple of weeks I try to catch a new movie that's out. I am also pursuing my associates degree.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

The last book I read was "The Help". It was a great book, and I wanted to read it before I saw the movie. I also love anything by John Grisham.


According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

  • Funny
  • Dependable
  • Caring
  • Loyal
 
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Sassafras54 is offline Sassafras54 — Advice Official Moderator Post #9  January 29,2012, 10:58pm
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Joined: Oct 2009

San Pedro, CA

Posts: 9,085

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Hi bgallag -- it's getting better! It still is not saying enough though. If you don't give your matches a sense of what you're like, all they have to go by are your photos and basic stats -- age, job, etc. So you want to let your personality show ... the way to do that is to say more. Talk to your reader -- pretend a friend who likes and cares about you has asked you these questions, and answer like you'd answer your friend. The idea is not just to literally answer each question, but to answer in a way that reveals who you are.

I get the impression you are shy about talking about yourself? And really most of us never write All About Me, the Novel!! lol But go ahead and just talk. About You -- that's what your matches are interested in.

Some suggestions below ... good luck!


bgallag wrote :
Okay, here are my new answers. Please let me know what you think? And please tell me what is so wrong with it? Most of the critiques are pretty vague. Thank you

The one thing I am most passionate about: I am passionate for volunteering for the causes I care about. Right now I am volunteering at a homeless shelter. Good answer. Now say more: what's it like to volunteer there? What do you do exactly? Why are you passionate about this?


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is: I am looking for someone who is laid-back, and who has a sense of humor. That's probably not really all you're looking for ... if a guy were laid-back and funny, and had no moral compass and was snide and mean and hated kittens, and didn't want a family, and .... you'd still be interested? What is really crucial to you, in a mate?



Basic Information

Occupation: Secretary Age 34 Height 5' 0" Wants Kids: Maybe Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic Religion: Christian Drinks: A few times a year Smokes: Never


In my own words

The most influential person in my life has been:

A friend and a mentor to me. She tutors children with special needs. She is very laid-back, patient, and a good listener, as well as giving sound advice. You're describing her, rather than yourself. Talk about how she's affected your life, what you've learned,. how you feel about her ... talk about yourself, not her.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • I am thankful for a wonderful, loving, and supportive family.
  • I am thankful for supportive and loyal friends.
  • I am thankful for the area in which I live in.

Three of my best life-skills are:

  • Maintaining an organized life
  • Being a good friend and companion
  • Maintaining a network of close friends


The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I've been told that I come up with witty one-liners sometimes. This doesn't really answer the question. What's a personality trait you value in yourself that tends to go unnoticed?


The things I can't live without are:

  • My family
  • My friends
  • Pets
  • Books / internet
  • iPhone / techie gadgets


The first thing people notice about me:

I think they notice my smile. Expand on this -- people notice that you're friendly, or you're funny, or what?


Some additional information I want you to know:

I did the bar scene when I was younger and got rather tired of it, so I decided to try online dating.


My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I enjoy spending time with family and friends. I also enjoy reading at home, talking on the phone, and mystery-shopping. Once a month or so, I will attend a social group in Baltimore, which is basically to meet other young adults in the area. I also just joined a book-club here in Annapolis, that also meets once a month. Of course, I also enjoy watching television during the week, or a good movie or two during the weekend. About every couple of weeks I try to catch a new movie that's out. I am also pursuing my associates degree. Instead of making a list, talk about 2-3 things you really like to do, and say more about them --- why you like them. That tells the reader who you are, instead of just a list of things you do.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

The last book I read was "The Help". It was a great book, and I wanted to read it before I saw the movie. I also love anything by John Grisham. Say why you loved it ... and not just something like "it's interesting" but something that tells us something about you.


According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

  • Funny
  • Dependable
  • Caring
  • Loyal
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #10  January 30,2012, 12:03pm
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posting from the 6th largest city in America

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Joined: Apr 2011

Posts: 1,649

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Add some more specifics!

If I tried to introduce you to a guy and said "He drives a truck, with a gun rack, listens to Garth, watches the GUN channel, is learning woodworking and loves bud and BBQ" you'd get an idea of him. AND whether your life might fit with his.
If I tried to introduce you to a guy and said "He likes his friends and family, talking on the phone, takes classes and the internet" the picture is a little more vague--hard to tell. The latter is you.

Lifestyle is important....keep adding to it. What food do you love? What music? What kind of movies? Are you CSI or Dancing with the Stars? Are you sushi or grits or bbq or vegan? More details lady!!!

Best-K
 
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