Ephemera is offline Ephemera Post #11  January 30,2012, 3:34pm
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is watching the little sleeping mousies.

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Start sentences with a variety of words; not 'she did this', 'she did that', etc.. or I am passionate about this, I am, I am, I am .... You need to make reading your profile interesting, not just a list of things. Think of is as if you are writing a little mini-novel about yourself. Have you looked at other people's profiles yet?
 
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bgallag is offline bgallag Post #12  January 30,2012, 4:18pm
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Thanks Sassafras and K, those were the most helpful answers yet! I understand now. I was not getting any interest at all. I appreciate it.

How about this,

"I love cookouts in the summer and watching movies and reading the rest of the year, as well as attending family gatheringsCurrently. Italian is my favorite dinner. I'll listen to just about anything except for Rap. Currently, I'm in school pursuing my Associates' degree, and I'm volunteering also. A couple of times a month, I'll go to my book club and my social group to meet other people. I'm currently learning more cooking, and trying not to burn down the kitchen.
 
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bgallag is offline bgallag Post #13  January 30,2012, 4:26pm
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I love cookouts in the summer and watching movies and reading the rest of the year. Also attending family gatherings and being with friends, whether it be shopping or eating out. Italian for dinner would be the big night out, but trying new places are always fun and exciting. I'll listen to just about anything except for Rap. Currently, I'm in school pursuing my Associates' degree, and I'm volunteering also. A couple of times a month, I'll go to my book club and my social group to meet other people. Cooking is another skill I'm working on, and trying not to burn down the kitchen in the process.

KikiAZ wrote :
Add some more specifics!

If I tried to introduce you to a guy and said "He drives a truck, with a gun rack, listens to Garth, watches the GUN channel, is learning woodworking and loves bud and BBQ" you'd get an idea of him. AND whether your life might fit with his.
If I tried to introduce you to a guy and said "He likes his friends and family, talking on the phone, takes classes and the internet" the picture is a little more vague--hard to tell. The latter is you.

Lifestyle is important....keep adding to it. What food do you love? What music? What kind of movies? Are you CSI or Dancing with the Stars? Are you sushi or grits or bbq or vegan? More details lady!!!

Best-K
 
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bgallag is offline bgallag Post #14  January 30,2012, 6:23pm
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How about this. If someone wants to re-write it for me, I'd really appreciate that also. I'm getting really tired of looking at it! LOL.

Family occasions are important to me, so spending time with them or friends is key, whether it be trying a new restaurant, seeing a movie, or shopping. Spending time on hobbies is also important, and the main one for me is mystery-shopping. If you talk to me on here I'll explain it to you. Currently, I'm in school pursuing my Associates' degree, and I'm volunteering also at the homeless shelter. A couple of times a month, I'll go to my book club and my social group to meet other people and to see the friends I've made from there. Listening to music really soothes me, so I'll listen to mostly anything except for rap.
 
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notyet is offline notyet Post #15  January 30,2012, 6:53pm
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bgallag wrote :
The most influential person in my life has been:

A friend and a mentor to me. She is a wonderful and kind person. She tutors children with special needs, and also mentors adults. She is very laid-back, patient, and a good listener, as well as giving sound advice. I try to learn from her traits and emulate her.
this just sounds weird to me- the way it is written. who is this person? and what have you specifically learned from her?
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #16  January 31,2012, 1:54am
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Having someone rewrite the entire profile is an excellent idea.

Have a trusted friend with good expression and writing skills help you with it. For example: the two sentences underlined below are strange. "Spending time on hobbies is important"?

As it is written....it is very difficult to get a sense of anything because of disjointed ideas, grammar and technical writing problems.
bgallag wrote :
If someone wants to re-write it for me, I'd really appreciate that also.

Family occasions are important to me, so spending time with them or friends is key, whether it be trying a new restaurant, seeing a movie, or shopping. Spending time on hobbies is also important, and the main one for me is mystery-shopping. If you talk to me on here I'll explain it to you. Currently, I'm in school pursuing my Associates' degree, and I'm volunteering also at the homeless shelter. A couple of times a month, I'll go to my book club and my social group to meet other people and to see the friends I've made from there. Listening to music really soothes me, so I'll listen to mostly anything except for rap.
 
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bgallag is offline bgallag Post #17  February 16,2012, 10:45am
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How can I delete this thread? My profile got re-written. Thank you! Mod, feel free to delete this thread. Thank you all for your help
Bridget
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #18  February 16,2012, 12:40pm
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sorry...its here for all eternity...
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #19  February 16,2012, 1:03pm
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posting from the 6th largest city in America

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