How to word "lets just be friends"

I agree with a lot of the advice. You sound like an intelligent interesting man. At 23, being under employed as you are might not be such a big deal.That's the age of potential. Actually at that age, living with parents can be a bigger deal since you need at least one of you to have your own place for private time!

But getting close to 30 you are really fully grown up and looking for an intelligent, emotionally healthy, interesting woman you really do need a career or vocation of some sort.

Even women younger than you, of a more serious, long term bent, recognize that at 30 one is grown up -living your potential. A 30 year old can change and grow of course, but if earning a living hasn't ever happened, it would be foolish for any of those to expect that will change. As people have noted, graduate school is usually still ok for some women since it shows a commitment to do what it takes to have a good future.

Nearing 30 most women want to think about having kids and most don't want to commit to a househusband. It's fine as a couple to decide to have a stay at home Dad, but most women want the freedom to decide together over time not have it already decided. And women who want kids usually want to feel that they can count on a man to pull through if, heaven forbid, a child had some serious health need, or she did and he had to support the family. A job where you don't make so much, but is a real career is also ok for some. (Like artist, craftsman, serious performing musician, frequently employed actor - all of these normally have some day job. Clergy person -some of may also need a supplemental job to support a family too, you get the point.)

I think that if you had a good job, making decent, even if not great income, and could say you moved in to live with your parents after being laid off and stayed while you saved up enough to buy a condo, it wouldn't be an immediate turn off. As others have noted, even without college degrees, people save up enough to support themselves, and you have a lot of pluses they way you put it.

Perhaps you might also consider counseling if you can find one you can afford and if you think you're getting in your own way.

I have both spiritual but not religious AND Christian as settings for matches-

I have myself identified as Christian, non denominational

as far as not living on my own... the last 12 years... 3 years living on campus in college, 3 years living with different groups of friends, 5.5 years living with just my girlfriend and I, and now .5 year living with my parents. So I'm not sure where "huge deal breaker" fits into this. If you take out the past half year, this is a similar set of living experiences to many of my friends (except their girlfriends turned into fiancees/wives).

Only one person has ever asked "do you live alone" amongst the early 5 ?s GC.

Similar to what barbarella said, although I believe the OP does have a BA.
Most people don't dig the shirtless pics, but he will need to stand out in some type of way.

Never having lived alone probably won't stop you from getting a first or second date. It'll hit you after that, when third or fourth dates fail to materialize.

I personally would be less bothered by the living alone thing than I would be by the fact that at nearly 30, you cannot support yourself and apparently never have done so in your adult life.

Where are you going to be in 15 years, PG-13? I know a man who has spent years looking for a woman to live off of. He moves from roommate to roommate, wherever the rent is cheaper, refusing to look for a job for years while he burned through savings in pursuit of his dream (but only when pursuing the dream didn't take too much time away from hanging out and having fun). By the time this Harvard grad figured out that he needed to rejoin the work force, it was too late: He's been out so long that he's unemployable. Meanwhile, he's pushing 50 and no woman will give him the time of day because he reeks of being a loser.

Is that what you want for your future? I'm asking because honest to god, that's the path you're on. So many people here are trying to help you avoid it.

The big problem is that you are almost 30 and unable to support a family. Healthy women want a man who obviously has the character to do that.