Page full of "Waiting for her response"


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mhawkins258 is offline mhawkins258 Post #1  January 26,2012, 11:30am
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Is it normal to always be waiting for someone to respond? I've sent mostly GC messages, a few test icebreakers and a few eHarmony mail messages. Some about a week ago, some as recent as today. More than half of them have supposedly viewed my profile at one point or another. They all have been active in the last week or more recent. I'm thinking about closing out a few of the older communication attempts, which are GC messages.

I've read a lot on the forums about dialing in my profile, edited my profile with the comments in mind, adding a variety of photos and also got the RelyID. I guess no one could be interested in me but I just find it odd that I don't even get people closing me out if they aren't interested. No specific action at all.

We all know that eHarmony is the one of the more expensive (if not the most pricey...) services around. I have used the service before with much better success in 2008/2009, resulting in relationships. It just seems that the crowd or site structure of matching has changed since then. I feel that sometimes I'm trying to contact someone that isn't even on this site, as if it's a fake or super-old profile.

Is anyone having such a difficult time as I am or is it just me? I might try a more open system like Match, as it doesn't seem so confined. I found out that Chemistry is horrible too lol.

I expect much more out of this than what I'm getting. So disappointing.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #2  January 26,2012, 11:49am
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Making it more like Match is precisely what ruined it with "Sign up for free" icebreakers,smiles, last log in and profile views..

It has encouraged many nonpayers to throw up a profile with a what the heck attitude much as match..also peoples profiles can stay up after their subscription expires

Many of the profiles you may be getting may be nonpaying, so they can send icebreakers,log in and view your profile (but not pics).... so they appear "active"....but....they can not respond to communication.

Closing has also become an inordinate hassle so many don't bother or again, have a what the heck attitude.

You seem to be going about it the best way you can by just sending out the questions to anyone who interests you. Icebreakers don't work and direct to eH mail can backfire
Good Luck....

mhawkins258 wrote :
Is it normal to always be waiting for someone to respond? I've sent mostly GC messages, a few test icebreakers and a few eHarmony mail messages.
 
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mhawkins258 is offline mhawkins258 Post #3  January 26,2012, 12:01pm
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Making it more like Match is precisely what ruined it with "Sign up for free" icebreakers,smiles, last log in and profile views..
Yes that makes sense. Do you happen to know when they added the icebreakers and made it more like "Match"? Because it just feels different than when I was here in 2008/2009.

I guess I'll keep chugging along and hope for the best. It's discouraging but I paid for three months. Might as well make an honest effort until it runs out.

Thanks a lot wiseman. I've learned a lot from your other posts and you should be commended for always sharing your knowledge and being considerate. "Wise" indeed.
 
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  January 26,2012, 12:15pm
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You're handling the eH site well..despite the changes..just keep making the best of it as you are...Thanks...and Good Luck
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #5  January 26,2012, 1:14pm
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mhawkins258 wrote :
Is it normal to always be waiting for someone to respond? I've sent mostly GC messages, a few test icebreakers and a few eHarmony mail messages. Some about a week ago, some as recent as today. More than half of them have supposedly viewed my profile at one point or another.
The ones who haven't viewed your profile are probably not subscribers or are not keeping up with their accounts. It's also possible that they decided they weren't interested from your name, location, age, or photo thumbnail if they were using the phone app, since those are the only things they can see without viewing your profile.

The ones who have viewed your profile and haven't responded probably fall into two categories:

1) Those who have archived you or otherwise never closed you, even though they're not interested, and

2) Those who prefer "open communication" and who you have only sent "guided communication" requests to.

I often ended up in open communication with women who never responded to my guided communication requests. If one doesn't work, try the other.

If you've tried both, and they've viewed your profile, and still haven't responded for a long period of time, they're probably not interested. Personally I tended to leave them open anyway if I was really interested, because there is always the remote chance that they'll respond at some point down the line. If I was on the fence about them at that point, I closed them.
 
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mhawkins258 is offline mhawkins258 Post #6  January 26,2012, 1:42pm
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I'll give those GC attempts an OC message in a little while. I have nothing to lose since I'm not getting anywhere anyways lol.

Great input. Much appreciated Nick!
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #7  January 26,2012, 1:58pm
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mhawkins258 wrote :
I'll give those GC attempts an OC message in a little while. I have nothing to lose since I'm not getting anywhere anyways lol.
That was the way I always looked at it: Leaving them open gives you only a slight chance of gain, but with zero risk of loss, so there's no reason not to. The only reason I could think of would be if the clutter became too much to bear. eH's user interface was already so cluttered and convoluted anyway, though, that it didn't make much difference.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  January 26,2012, 6:39pm
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Wiseman2 wrote :
Making it more like Match is precisely what ruined it with "Sign up for free" icebreakers,smiles, last log in and profile views..

It has encouraged many nonpayers to throw up a profile with a what the heck attitude much as match..also peoples profiles can stay up after their subscription expires

Many of the profiles you may be getting may be nonpaying, so they can send icebreakers,log in and view your profile (but not pics).... so they appear "active"....but....they can not respond to communication.

Closing has also become an inordinate hassle so many don't bother or again, have a what the heck attitude.

You seem to be going about it the best way you can by just sending out the questions to anyone who interests you. Icebreakers don't work and direct to eH mail can backfire
Good Luck....
I would have to agree with this.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  January 26,2012, 6:52pm
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The changes to the site mostly began in 2010.

Don't send IceBreakers because they are seen as a sign of a non-paying member. Send First Questions to any match that does not have any red flags or deal breakers in their profile. Since you were on eHarmony in 2008 and 2009 you will remember that back then they showed what the communication preference of your match was. Unless you got a different type match than I did it was a very rare thing to see a match that preferred Fast Track (skipping GC and jumping directly to e-mail). I can say that out of some 3600 matches I only had one that was adamant about not using GC.

Remember that most (about 90%) of your matches are going to be non-paying members who can't respond. At least today your have the Active Within feature that will tell you when your matches have last logged in to eHarmmony. When they have not been on the site for more than 3 weeks that is a good sign that they are not a paying member.

Also remember that you are 3 to 4 years older than you were in 2008 / 2009 this is likely going to put you in a different demographic for your matches. As a 55 year old I got lots of matches, as a 59 year old I get almost no matches.
 
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Ravenli68 is offline Ravenli68 Post #10  January 27,2012, 8:22pm
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It is incredibly frustrating, and just know that you are not alone. I have been going through the same thing. If you have not already done so, post your profile under "using eharmony" for people to review. Fellow members offer great suggestions on how to improve your profile. Keep pluging away and good luck!
 
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