mejonny is offline mejonny Post #1  January 15,2012, 6:57pm
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Hi, I just subscribed to eharmony 6 days ago. I've got 46 views, 3 communications and 3 closes from women I'm not interested in at all, but none from the women I'd like to hear from. Can anyone read my profile and tell me if there's anything that might be turning off my desired potential communicatees?

I have 5 photos, half of them recent as of 4 days ago, I used to be a model/minor actor on TV, and I am generally known as "handsome, really good looking, attractive," so I don' think that's the main issue. It might be something I'm saying that is making most of the women view, but not repsond to me. I have sent many of them the 5 guided communications questions, so following that 1st step advice. Please advise so I can start talking to the women I am interested in! I have 2 friends that met on eharmony (one is getting married in Sept 2012, and I am one of the groomsmen, so I know this works for many people!)

Basic Information

Occupation:Paralegal - Med. Mal/Law Grad/Aspiring Attorney/2012 CA Bar Exam Candidate Age37Height5' 9" Wants Kids:YesKids at Home:
No

The one thing I am most passionate about:

Swimming, running, traveling to new and exciting places, reading, good movies, live music, singing karaoke. One day to race a race car, jump off a plane (with a parachute, of course!), snowboard the highest peak in the world.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:

Ok - here's my short list I narrowed down from my long list: Respect, Loyalty, Honesty, Intelligence, Wit, Humor, Communication, Compassion, Integrity, Passion, Generosity, Sharing, Caring, Emotionally Mature, Career-Goal Oriented, Wise-beyond her years, Good Family Background/Values, soft eyes, long thick, healthy flowing locks (hair), and firm cute butt cheeks and long, curvaceous legs don't hurt! But not all mandatory! He he. And that's my short list, which is actually not all-inclusive. Only the first 18 are the "Most Important" to me - anything extra is whipped cream on the juicy-sweet strawberry!

The most influential person in my life has been:

Abraham Lincoln. His ability to fail, fail, fail...and keep persevering until he succeeded. And ultimately died staying true to his beliefs - which were greater than himself - and worth more to millions of others than his own life.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

  • My family. They have ALWAYS been there for me, and ALWAYS will. The same goes for me for them.
  • My health. I have always been blessed with really good health (no allergies/vision problems, asthma, etc).
  • My career. It's the most challenging I've ever had, allows me to keep moving up, and do good things for people that I can be proud of.
Three of my best life-skills are:


  • Achieving personal goals
  • Entertaining in my home
  • Maintaining a network of close friends
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:



Women have told me that "I don't think I'll EVER be able to figure you out." That I'm complicated and complex, an enigma. Actually, I'm very simple. You just have to get to know me better! The effort's worth it!

The things I can't live without are:

  • My Family - they are the dearest to me!
  • Swimming - I'm a Pisces, so naturally, a fish!
  • Running - especially along the coastline - oxygen!
  • The Law - it drives and guides me simultaneously.
  • Other people - I love being around others.
The first thing people notice about me:



My huge smile that I often can't control. My willingness to spark up a conversation with a complete stranger. My automatic firm handshake. Some friends call me "The Catalyst."

Some additional information I want you to know:


I've spent most of my life wanting to mend, heal, and love the 'bad' girl, the 'troubled' girl. Which has finally directed me to the other side of that juncture - to give all that love instead to someone who really deserves it - strike that; to give it to someone that it would be much more fruitful and sensible giving it to...yes, that's it! - to the 'good' girl, the girl who doesn't need any fixing, but is just right the way she is. The girl who I know I should be with, the one I've always wanted to be with.

I typically spend my leisure time:


Swimming, running, cooking/eating a good meal out, cozying up with an intimate partner, reading law books, music.

The last book I read and enjoyed:


All my law books to make sure I pass the July 2012 Bar Exam!!! And the 'Last Lecture,' which was a young dying professors' last testimonial to give all his wisdom before he left this Earth. A whole lot of everyday lessons and etiquette to not only treat everyone better, but to truly appreciate and make the most of every single day we have above ground - for ourselves! A lesson in gratitude in applicable fashion!

According to my friends:


My friends describe me as:
  • Ambitious
  • Optimistic
  • Passionate
  • Thoughtful
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  January 15,2012, 9:42pm
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I stopped when I reached your "short list". Are you serious? That is a HUGE turn off for any woman to read, even if she hits every one of those markers. I'd even say it is juicy-sweet disgusting.
 
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mejonny is offline mejonny Post #3  January 15,2012, 9:58pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
I stopped when I reached your "short list". Are you serious? That is a HUGE turn off for any woman to read, even if she hits every one of those markers. I'd even say it is juicy-sweet disgusting.

Ok..ok. That's why I asked - I can see how it can come off right away as overly demanding, and unrealistic. Overly cocky and even boorish. I'm changing it. Will keep it simple and real.
 
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mejonny is offline mejonny Post #4  January 15,2012, 10:18pm
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mejonny wrote :
Ok..ok. That's why I asked - I can see how it can come off right away as overly demanding, and unrealistic. Overly cocky and even boorish. I'm changing it. Will keep it simple and real.
Is this better? I think so. "I like a woman who is sure of herself and knows who she is, knows how to communicate and express herself, isn't afraid to tell me when I'm wrong, who is strong, wise beyond her years, intelligent, witty, and honest/faithful/loyal. Who can teach me many new things and keep me on my toes!"

Thanks for the advice and at least I revised that first answer. Let me know what you think of my new answer. Or not. But thanks anyways!
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #5  January 15,2012, 10:22pm
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I think your short list is pretty darn funny, but I agree it'll turn people off. It depends on your matches, but I don't have anything that forward on my profile and I haven't had the luck I've wanted.

You definitely come across as confident, maybe even a little too cocky... I do like your "thing that people don't notice about you" but I'm not sure if calling yourself an enigma = date me.

I do like "The Catalyst" too... I definitely get ambitious and passionate out of your profile, just maybe dial those back by a bit... I'm also a dude and not in your prime audience, but after seeing how the wolves here have torn apart lesser profiles, I'll be curious to see what feedback this thread provides. Entertainment either way.
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #6  January 15,2012, 10:24pm
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Definitely a better answer. It does ring a wee bit cliche, however.
 
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eharmonyjc is offline eharmonyjc Post #7  January 15,2012, 10:31pm
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mejonny wrote :
Ok..ok. That's why I asked - I can see how it can come off right away as overly demanding, and unrealistic. Overly cocky and even boorish. I'm changing it. Will keep it simple and real.
And creepy.
 
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mejonny is offline mejonny Post #8  January 15,2012, 10:40pm
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AndieIsMe wrote :
Definitely a better answer. It does ring a wee bit cliche, however.
So - I did get a date set up with a decent gal (thus far - I won't know for sure until I meet her!!!) for next Sat. around my town. And that was before I made any changes - so maybe she's one of the few bold ones and didn't mind my forwardness and brashness - perhaps she even likes that about me! Ok, so she's a few years older than I, and I prefer around 28-32 years old or so, but I like her wittiness so far so I'm giving it a go! It'll be my first return email, and first date after being a member for 1 week. I'm going to think of something less cliche as Walken pointed out, and make more of the changes/reversions Quick Study advised - then post soon after I think of something clever, non-offensive, but still my voice. Let's see if the wolves bite! Thanks, Walken and Quick Study!
 
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mejonny is offline mejonny Post #9  January 15,2012, 10:42pm
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eharmonyjc wrote :
And creepy.
Touche.
 
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mejonny is offline mejonny Post #10  January 15,2012, 11:12pm
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Here are some changes - I put some more thought into it, but maybe still on the same beaten track?

What is the most important quality that you are looking for in another person?

I like to be "pleasantly surprised." By a woman who blows me away with her quick-wit, unyielding honesty and isn't afraid what I'll think, isn't afraid to stand up and tell me when I'm wrong, and who is tough enough and strong enough to be herself and not change for anyone.

What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?

Women meet me and find that I'm "down-to-earth," "straight-up," "sincere" and "caring." Some of them think that it's a front, or wonder if I'm going to change and be "not caring" later on. Or wonder if I "care" at all! Like it's some kind of trick or farce - it's not. I shouldn't get dinged for being sincere and that is their (some of them) shortcoming in doubting me. Not mine. With me, what you see is what you get!

Is there any additional information you would like your matches to know about you?

Some friends have told me that "I'm too nice" and that "I wear my heart on my shoulder." Well, I've become more selective in who I give my heart to, and I've learned not to give it up too fast and too easily...but I'm also not going to change my core being and essence of me - I'm a loving, compassionate guy, and I'm not changing that for anyone!
 
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