Is this normal? If it is can I prevent it?


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James-12 is offline James-12 Post #1  January 14,2012, 7:32am
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So I've been on eH since around last Sept. and have had very little activity despite my efforts. One of the biggest reasons to this that I've noticed now is that probably 75% of the women that I am really interested in based on their profiles haven't logged in in 2+ weeks and even though I send something just in case it seems they don't log back in. Is there any way to stop these matches? Or at least make it so I can get matched with active people...

First post so hopefully I did this right.
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #2  January 14,2012, 8:10am
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Welcome to eHarmony Advice. You did this just fine.

There is no way to control getting matched only to active, paying members. If you are getting responses from 25% of your matches you are doing better than normal.

You should just send First Questions to every match that does not have any red flags or deal breakers in their profile. Then move on to your next match. If they respond good.
 
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shapeShifter79 is offline shapeShifter79 Post #3  January 14,2012, 8:38am
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James-12 wrote :
So I've been on eH since around last Sept. and have had very little activity despite my efforts. One of the biggest reasons to this that I've noticed now is that probably 75% of the women that I am really interested in based on their profiles haven't logged in in 2+ weeks and even though I send something just in case it seems they don't log back in. Is there any way to stop these matches? Or at least make it so I can get matched with active people...

First post so hopefully I did this right.
I'll disagree with Gr8Guy. As an educated adult male in his 30s who's in reasonably good shape, I saw closer to 50% of women responding. I eventually stopped initiating and let the women take on that role. A low response rate is normal for some. A high response rate is normal for others.

But I see an important distinction in your words. You say, 75% of the ladies you're interested in are inactive, not that 75% of ladies are inactive. Obviously, focus on those who are active. It's easy to imagine you have a great idea who these people are by their profiles and you can judge who's much better and much worse, but profiles are really like seeing women from a distance with rain rolling down it. Pics may be months old, or may miss some 'little' detail like bright yellow buck teeth. I think it's best to look for broad strokes--absolute dealbreakers like obesity, smoking, education, career, interests, etc. and then just get meeting with your 1-8 best candidates each month. Chemistry is insanely difficult to predict!
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Wiseman2 is offline Wiseman2 Post #4  January 14,2012, 9:44am
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Gr8guy is correct...The 75% you are seeing that haven't logging in in over two weeks may be nonpaying or dead profiles.

Make sure your settings with age, distance,lifestyle are fairly widely set, as well as your importance preferences. Set your self-descriptors reasonably wide as well....you can always close the left-field ones.

Tweak that part up a bit..it's usually the reason for stale matches being sent....it takes a couple days for the tweaked settings to kick in ...then hit the find new matches button.

Review your matches everyday and send the first questions to everyone who interests you...Do not sit and wait for them to initiate...Do not send icebreakers or smiles.

Respond to communication that interests you in a timely manner...........A little tweaking on the settings and your match rate should pick up....Good Luck..
James-12 wrote :
75% of the women that I am really interested in based on their profiles haven't logged in in 2+ weeks
 
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James-12 is offline James-12 Post #5  January 14,2012, 12:25pm
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Thanks for the feedback guys, the advice is appreciated!
 
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