Nedrob is offline Nedrob Post #21  January 12,2012, 10:31am
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Thank you, all. I've been trying to post replies but they keep getting send to mods for approval and then they don't get posted. Mods, please check your inboxes or tell me what's offending you about my posts... thanks
 
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Goodvibrations is offline Goodvibrations Post #22  January 12,2012, 12:22pm
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Nedrob wrote :
Thanks, Goodvibrations, for the feedback. Actually, I took dance lessons for over a year, never graduating beyond the beginner level, before finally giving up. I'm not horrific but I don't have the body type or muscular control or something for it. I also have a workout routine but I don't stick to it. I personally find exercise dull and tedious and I don't get any of the psychological benefits most people talk about. Also, there's an angry part of me that wishes that girls would be attracted to nice guys and not muscular guys. However, I have made these changes to my profile:

My interests in classic style have led me to take up jewellery making, knitting and sewing to make what I can't find in stores. I like to dabble in new skills and knowledge including, but not limited to, languages, technology, magic and psychology. I see my mum and sister several times a week. I like to dance whenever and wherever, even if I dance like a white guy, and I'm often short a salsa dance partner. However, I also love to stay in to play a good board or video game with friends, watch a movie or cozy up and cuddle.

I like this revision. I imagine several of these will interest your matches and you managed to re-frame dancing into a positive light. Well played.

As an aside, you may want to carefully consider including psychology in the mix. As a Psychology major, I have firsthand experience. People are quick to assume that you psychoanalyze everything and everyone around you. Misconceptions abound.

I can relate to your comment about not getting the psychological satisfaction from working out. I don't exactly enjoy working out, either. However, it's just part of increasing your odds in dating.

I imagine it doesn't keep you up at night, but you might rest assured that not many women are out there actively turning down guys because they don't work out. Women care much less about physical attractiveness than men. Having said this, women do get to do the choosing in the dating world, and consciously or unconsciously we all try to get the best deal we can. If a couple of push-ups will help stack the deck a bit more in your favor, it might be something worth considering.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #23  January 12,2012, 2:30pm
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Nedrob wrote :
Okay, attacking the easier stuff before the harder stuff, I've reworked "How do you typically spend your leisure time?":

My interests in classic style have led me to take up jewellery making, knitting and sewing to make what I can't find in stores. I like to dabble in new skills and knowledge including, but not limited to, languages, technology, magic, psychology. I look forward to getting all dressed up and going for nights on the town; I often seem to be short a salsa dance partner. However, I also love to stay in to play a good game with friends (I recently built a respectable collection of board games), watch a movie or cozy up and cuddle.
This is great.

I know you're really into knitting, sewing, and jewelry making. I hate to say this, but must you mention these? Could you just leave these out of your profile and talk about them on a first date? To a match, you are pixels on a screen. I don't think I would risk dating you because you sound gay. Discovering that these were interests on a date? OK. Front and center on your profile? Not so much.
 
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Nedrob is offline Nedrob Post #24  January 12,2012, 3:30pm
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emma_hazards wrote :
I know you're really into knitting, sewing, and jewelry making. I hate to say this, but must you mention these? Could you just leave these out of your profile and talk about them on a first date? To a match, you are pixels on a screen. I don't think I would risk dating you because you sound gay. Discovering that these were interests on a date? OK. Front and center on your profile? Not so much.
Men who have knit:
King Edward VIII (Straight)
Charles Dickens (Straight)
Jacques Plante (Straight)
Russell Crowe (Straight)
Scott Baio (Straight)
Judd Nelson (Straight)
Irish fishermen (who invented knitting)

Remember that bit I wrote about matters of principle? This is one of those items where I'll get my back up. If a girl turns me down because I don't fit the 'traditional gender roles circa 1950,' I frankly think I'm better off without her. There I said it.
Last edited by Nedrob; January 12,2012 at 4:14pm.
 
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Nedrob is offline Nedrob Post #25  January 12,2012, 3:55pm
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I imagine it doesn't keep you up at night, but you might rest assured that not many women are out there actively turning down guys because they don't work out. Women care much less about physical attractiveness than men. Having said this, women do get to do the choosing in the dating world, and consciously or unconsciously we all try to get the best deal we can. If a couple of push-ups will help stack the deck a bit more in your favor, it might be something worth considering.
Actually, my experience is that built guys pick up more than not built guys. Some guys I know who pick up the most are dull, offensive and dim-witted, but they're built so girls seem to forgive everything else. In contrast, I get the boot even before I've opened my mouth most of the time. I wish girls weren't that superficial, but, then again, I'm as much of a sucker for a hot body as the next man so I can't really pretend to be any less superficial.

Good call on the psychology bit. I don't major in psych, but I took a course and I've spent a lot of time around psychologists and I can see how it can come across.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #26  January 13,2012, 12:27am
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Nedrob wrote :
Men who have knit:
King Edward VIII (Straight)
Charles Dickens (Straight)
Jacques Plante (Straight)
Russell Crowe (Straight)
Scott Baio (Straight)
Judd Nelson (Straight)
Irish fishermen (who invented knitting)

Remember that bit I wrote about matters of principle? This is one of those items where I'll get my back up. If a girl turns me down because I don't fit the 'traditional gender roles circa 1950,' I frankly think I'm better off without her. There I said it.
Was not questioning your team preference per se. I was simply pointing out the impression you're creating. Russell Crowe, for example, doesn't lead with his love of knitting when he does the talk show circuit. In fact, he doesn't even mention it. It's not a 1950's stereotype either. It's the rare man who knits in 2012. It's rarer still to come across a guy who boasts about his knitting and sewing skills.

Your profile, your choice, your results. Best of luck!
 
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Nedrob is offline Nedrob Post #27  January 14,2012, 8:43pm
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I have 3 unanswered questions on my profile: "Other than your appearance, what is the first thing that people notice about you?", "What is the ONE thing that people DON'T notice about you right away that you WISH they WOULD?" and "Is there any additional information..." which I deleted after their original contents were assessed as too arrogant, negative or creepy.

Ideally, I'd like to keep the point of my original answers, but are there any suggestions for what I should say and how I should word it?

Tanks
 
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Goodvibrations is offline Goodvibrations Post #28  January 14,2012, 10:31pm
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I imagine we can offer you ideas, Nedrob, but wouldn't it be better to come up with something on your own? You can always run the new answers by those of us on the forum. I think the main point I've heard from others is to focus on the positives and clean up anything that can be misconstrued. The rest is picking out the positives that you want to put out there.
 
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Nedrob is offline Nedrob Post #29  January 15,2012, 8:29pm
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I'll struggle away and try to think of something. I'm really not good at talking about myself except for self-analysing. I'm not a born salesman.

Anyway, I've uploaded some photos to my profile, some of which appear in my eH profile proper. I already know that none of them are great photos, but I just want to eliminate the deal breaking ones. I photograph awkwardly most of the time, so it's hard to get good ones of me...
 
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Nedrob is offline Nedrob Post #30  February 9,2012, 9:29pm
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I've updated the first post to my new profile. Comments appreciated. If this is supposed to go into a new thread instead of a resurrected thread, lemmie know.
 
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