Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #11  January 8,2012, 6:27pm
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I'm crippled by the fear That I've fallen too far to love

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lissa783 wrote :
I agree with the OP, I find it funny that over the last year and a half: number of dates- eh: 0 match: 1 okc: 6 Pretty sure I will be sticking with the free one since all the profiles had the same info in them written in pretty much the same way. A lot of the same people are on the free ones anyway.
My experience is exactly opposite yours. eHarmony - a bunch, Match - 4, OK Cupid - 0
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #12  January 9,2012, 2:10am
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First thing you need to do is not just sit there in stats mode. Agree with other posters that a profile review may give you insight as to how outsiders are perceiving it.

Second: do something about your settings...the whole world thing backfires....a computer program is matching you... not the eH love elves.... matching you with sure-thing hotties

Keep your personal descriptors realistic as well as the age distance, life style and beliefs settings....and their relative importance.

Third: Learn to use the site to it's and your advantage. This means it's not match, cupid, fish etc.
Do not use smiles or icebreakers. They are for nonpayers

Do not go straight to eH mail. Send the first questions to anyone who interests you. You can request eH mail anytime during the GC, but the site is set up for questions

Do not get hung-up tallying profile views or last log-in...they are meaningless data. Just check in at least once a day, review your matches, send questions to everyone who interests you and respond in a timely manner to communications.

When you shift your focus from odds and stats and the habit of how other sites work...using eH for what it is.... you may have more success....Good Luck...
nerds-unite wrote :
That is actually very insightful. I can't see my competition, but I'm probably up against a myriad of men with six-packs, military experience and mansions. In that regard, I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to compete.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #13  January 9,2012, 8:01am
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I second the idea to post your profile. OR, at minimum, read 5 or more of the ones for other guys that we have done recently.

Also, be sure to read the "online dating manual" sticky at the top of this section.

EH worked for me. And it worked for my bf. Who, incidently, doesn't have a 6 pack, military experience or a mansion. :}
 
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nv1983 is online now nv1983 Post #14  January 9,2012, 8:10am
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nerds-unite wrote :
That is actually very insightful. I can't see my competition, but I'm probably up against a myriad of men with six-packs, military experience and mansions. In that regard, I'm not entirely sure how I'm supposed to compete.
Well, I wouldn't assume you can't help yourself AT ALL. Don't count yourself out - you have nothing to lose by getting some advice from real women on these message boards.
 
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boschimsp is offline boschimsp — Advice Member-Moderator Post #15  January 9,2012, 8:12am
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I agree that posting your profile (and pictures if you feel comfortable) can only help. I'll also add that while I don't have any evidence to prove this, I think sometimes people can be pickier on online dating sites than they are in real life. I think to some people they assume that given the # of people on online dating sites/the matches they receive that if they just wait long enough the perfect person will come along who matches all their requirements. I think for better or worse sometimes advertisements for dating sites play into this. I also think that sometimes people have a tendency to all go after the most desirable matches. Just by having access to their profiles or being matches with them people can start to believe they have a shot, when in reality many of these people are not interested. Unfortunately I think it can have the trickle down effect where then because you are getting those highly appealing matches, all the more normal people seem like less by comparison.

I think the hard part about online dating is that you're always experiencing someone in sort of disjointed manner. Usually with offline introductions personality and looks come together at the same time and thus, an attractive personality can have the effect of making someone more appealing. Online it is a little bit harder, there is no denying that. That's why I think it's so important to get your profile in tip top shape and to choose pictures that are realistic, but show you in the most flattering light. You'd be surprised at how many photos I see where the man is not smiling and doesn't look inviting, is wearing something unflattering or too casual/etc. This is pretty much the opposite of what would happen in a real life introduction scenario where someone would hopefully be putting their best foot forward in terms of dress and approachability.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #16  January 9,2012, 11:23am
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I was going on the premise that he said he approached these women in real life and asked them out...

If they continue to keep speaking with him, and give their number...there is a 50% shot that they also find him attractive....(or else they would stop talking and walk away or not give their number)...

I put the number low for women who don't know how to say no or are too drunk to..LOL
 
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