nv1983 is online now nv1983 Post #1  January 8,2012, 12:16am
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I've been communicating with some matches on eharm and one thing that I have noticed with a couple of my matches is how little effort they put into their answers to the 3 open ended questions/open communication phase. One of my matches barely put a sentence into each of her answers to the 3 questions, and they read like lines out of an Ernest Hemingway novel. The other I got to open comm with and I sent her an email asking her about some personal details - where she's from, what places she liked to travel to - and she barely responded with a two sentence email. She did ask me some questions though, so that's a plus, but still...

I'm contemplating just closing them out because of their clear lack of effort, but I'm wondering if I'm being too harsh. Does anybody here close out because the other party just seems like they're going through the motions?
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #2  January 8,2012, 2:58am
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eH is to introduce you to people,develop some rapport and then meet in person. Keep in mind it is a dating site not a pen-pal / creative writing site.

These women may be annoyed at all the questions and drawn-out emails... and prefer to date men in person...

Once you get to OC (since GC gets the questions out of the way)... Start suggesting a meet up /date, etc......Good Luck...
nv1983 wrote :
The other I got to open comm with and I sent her an email asking her about some personal details - where she's from, what places she liked to travel to - and she barely responded with a two sentence email. She did ask me some questions though, so that's a plus, but still...
 
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maffif is online now maffif Post #3  January 8,2012, 7:19am
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Wiseman2 wrote :
eH is to introduce you to people,develop some rapport and then meet in person. Keep in mind it is a dating site not a pen-pal / creative writing site.

These women may be annoyed at all the questions and drawn-out emails... and prefer to date men in person...

Once you get to OC (since GC gets the questions out of the way)... Start suggesting a meet up /date, etc......Good Luck...
Agree with this! It is about meeting someone. And remember just becuase they are great in an email doesn't mean they will be great in person. And the opposite holds true, just because they aren't great in an email or GC doesn't mean they won't be great in person. You just need to meet.

I have met guys who looked great in a profile and in email but, did nothing for me in person. I have met guys who I wasn't too sure about but decided to meet anyway and they were great. You just never know until you meet.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #4  January 8,2012, 7:54am
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Are you looking for a date or to fill a creative writing position?

Personally, there are questions I simply won't respond to except with a snide remark. Your initial e-mail really should not contain more than one question, two at the very most. I've personally closed out matches that required a ten page dissertation to respond to or I've simply told them that we can talk about all that face to face. There is absolutely no point whatsoever in spending hours on end writing to each other and in exchanging personal information with an endless stream of strangers where the instant you meet, it will be all over. The point of the site is to introduce you. The point from there is to meet asap in real life and see if there is any actual real life connection. Pixels on the screen are not real and a waste of time 99% of the time.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #5  January 8,2012, 8:35am
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Call/meet her ASAP. If she's interested in you then she'll agree to one or both. I use to over write to a match, but woke up and started requesting a phone call/meet up within the second email. Although, in the future it'd be within the context of the first email, although perhaps after last night I won't have to deal with that...
 
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nv1983 is online now nv1983 Post #6  January 8,2012, 9:49am
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I usually ask out my matches within the first couple emails, so it's not like I'm asking for a pen pal or anything. It just gives me the impression that they're just going through the motions and not all that interested to begin with, but I suppose I have nothing to lose by just asking them out. I have, however, had some matches say "but, I barely know you" when I ask them out early, but maybe they just weren't that into meeting up to begin with.
 
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MileHighArtist is offline MileHighArtist Post #7  January 8,2012, 9:57am
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nv1983 wrote :
I usually ask out my matches within the first couple emails, so it's not like I'm asking for a pen pal or anything. It just gives me the impression that they're just going through the motions and not all that interested to begin with, but I suppose I have nothing to lose by just asking them out. I have, however, had some matches say "but, I barely know you" when I ask them out early, but maybe they just weren't that into meeting up to begin with.
That's why I normally go for a phone call first, and then a afternoon/evening meet up for the first time. I can understand why some women may be wary of meeting a stranger they've only had contact with through the internet.
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #8  January 8,2012, 10:37am
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MileHighArtist wrote :
That's why I normally go for a phone call first, and then a afternoon/evening meet up for the first time. I can understand why some women may be wary of meeting a stranger they've only had contact with through the internet.
If anyone is this wary of meeting a stranger from the internet, what the heck are they doing using an internet dating site? If they are hesitant to meet, they are hesitant to meet YOU.
Get to the meeting, the rest is just an introduction platform.
 
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PG-13 is offline PG-13 Post #9  January 8,2012, 12:08pm
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Some matches are gung ho to meet (and prefer meeting to a phone conversation either) but there are 2 Ive had from my original set of matches 4 months ago that I am still exchanging emails with every so often that are in no real hurry to meet at all... So from experience (which you can read about my misadventure in the dating forum), if its a match that you are really interested in, I'd make sure you arent going too fast... Some matches just need a really slow, drawn out email heavy approach and if you rush it, you can scare them off... It all depends
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #10  January 8,2012, 2:13pm
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seriously? you are careful not to scare women off?

If they're like this at the emailing point, what do you think their attitude to sex will be?

I would close anyone who wants to drag out emailing. They are not normal.
 
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