DianaDG is offline DianaDG Post #1  January 4,2012, 11:27am
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I have been a member for about a week. Is it normal that I have not had anyone communicate with me yet? I'm not trying to rush things but I see that people have read my profile, and then nothing.....
 
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MicMan is offline MicMan Post #2  January 4,2012, 11:32am
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Yes. Have you tried communicating with anyone?
 
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tweet37 is offline tweet37 Post #3  January 4,2012, 11:46am
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DianaDG wrote :
I have been a member for about a week. Is it normal that I have not had anyone communicate with me yet? I'm not trying to rush things but I see that people have read my profile, and then nothing.....
Then there is either something wrong with your profile or your photos,....or both.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #4  January 4,2012, 11:54am
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You need to sendthe first questions to everyone who interests you, not sit back and count views, also...don't send icebreakers, smiles etc...they signal a nonpaying member....Some good tips are on this thread:http://advice.eharmony.com/boards/da...nitiative.html (Women with initiative)
 
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LostInCornfield is offline LostInCornfield Post #5  January 4,2012, 5:57pm
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This is just my completely unscientific statistical analysis, but 80-90% of eHarmony profiles are nonpaying members or people that signed up during a free communication weekend and then never returned.

EH doesn't bother to filter these profiles out.

When I was on there about once a week I'd go through and weed out the definite no's and then send the initial 5 questions to everybody else... even if their profile wasn't "perfectly written" as long as there wasn't some mega deal breaker. A lot of people just aren't very good at writing profiles.

Then if I was lucky like maybe two to four of those people would actually respond lol. Ten or twelve might at least view my profile and the rest went unnoticed because the person probably hadn't even logged in. After like a month of that I might have had a handful that made it to open communication and maybe one or two that lead to an Actual Date.

eHarmony is a numbers game.

And yeah as far as women initiating, I was 100% fine if a woman "initiated" communication with me and would often move those up to the front of the line. Just my opinion.
 
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Holiday_HH is offline Holiday_HH Post #6  January 4,2012, 6:05pm
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DianaDG wrote :
I have been a member for about a week. Is it normal that I have not had anyone communicate with me yet? I'm not trying to rush things but I see that people have read my profile, and then nothing.....
Do you have your photos on your profile?

I agree that you cannot be passive - you need to communicate with the people that you find interesting or slightly intriguing. As a new member myself, I find that the more you communicate the easier and more "natural" it feels. So I say "communicate, communicate, communicate"!!
 
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LostInCornfield is offline LostInCornfield Post #7  January 4,2012, 6:31pm
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Holiday_HH wrote :
I agree that you cannot be passive - you need to communicate with the people that you find interesting or slightly intriguing. As a new member myself, I find that the more you communicate the easier and more "natural" it feels. So I say "communicate, communicate, communicate"!!
It's almost like it's human nature to regress back into every high school dance where the guys are sitting on one side and the girls are sitting on the other side - both groups all nervous and shy - just waiting on someone to make the first move.

No, you paid for a dating site subscription to date people. So date people.

Be aggressive and communicate. Don't be afraid of rejection or people ignoring either. You kinda gotta have thick skin. And I absolutely agree that it gets easier and more natural feeling over time. It's kinda like cold calling and sales - most sales people operate knowing they may have to make 100 calls to get 10 sales... but in dating one of those could end up being "the one" so it's worth the hassle, right?
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #8  January 5,2012, 3:21pm
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tweet37 wrote :
Then there is either something wrong with your profile or your photos,....or both.
This is just not true!
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #9  January 5,2012, 3:30pm
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DianaDG wrote :
I have been a member for about a week. Is it normal that I have not had anyone communicate with me yet? I'm not trying to rush things but I see that people have read my profile, and then nothing.....
This is quite normal. There are many people who are non-paying members who can't communicate though they are still active and view profiles.

Every day you get new matches and so do your matches. Therefore they may have been on eHarmony for a lot longer than a week and are in communication with other matches and while they may like your profile they may feel that they have more matches in various stages of communication than they can handle and so don't initiate with you.

In order to maximize your success YOU should send First Questions to any match that does not have any red flags or deal breakers in their profile. When you initiate with one of your matches you are going to go to the top of his match list.

The suggestions of posting your profile here for review and making sure that you have good photos are good suggestions.
 
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DianaDG is offline DianaDG Post #10  January 7,2012, 8:54am
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Thanks so much for the wonderful feedback. I will try out the advice and let you all know how it goes.
I was looking for the info on how to get my profile reviewed but can't seem to find it. Help?
Thanks again!
 
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