Profile Review, 33/F

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generallyyou Post #1 December 31,2011, 3:58pm

Makin' diapers.

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Joined: Dec 2011

SoCal

Posts: 87

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Whatever it is I'm doing isn't working, so give it to me straight. Thanks everyone.

The one thing I am most passionate about:I am passionate about being kind and helping people as often as possible. I believe in karma of sorts, I firmly believe that the energy you put out is the energy you get back. I absolutely love listening to music and find it very inspirational.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:Honesty! Empathy is a very very close second.

The reason I have chosen honesty is because I believe when you are honest, most of the other good qualities I am looking for come with it. Reliability, loyalty, confidence, values, wisdom, etc.

I am thankful my children are happy, healthy, both physically and emotionally.
I am thankful to have a business that is growing every day.
I am thankful to have family nearby that is supportive and loving.

Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Raising and/or caring for children
Achieving personal goals

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I guess my eyes. My kids say I have sunflower eyes, that's pretty cool.

The things I can't live without are:

My kids
Caffeine
My sewing machine
Good food and wine
The internet

The first thing people notice about me:

I don't really know. Maybe my glasses? You tell me!

Some additional information I want you to know:

I am looking to add a little bit of excitement into my life. I am not really interested in pen pals, if and when it's feasible I'd like to meet up after a few back and forth emails. I really love to laugh, so a sense of humor is a must.

My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I like spending time with my kids or enjoying a nice glass of wine and listening to music or watching a good movie. I don't really know my area too well, but I love to go exploring.

The last book I read and enjoyed:

The last book I read was The Broker by John Grisham. I always loved his books, but it's hard to find time to sit and read. I had one free weekend and managed to read it all. It was a miracle, I tell you! I am also a big fan of horror, like Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I like to be kept on the edge of my seat.

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

Creative
Rational
Loyal
Hard Working

D_Lion Post #2 December 31,2011, 5:33pm

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,692

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My reactions are in blue text. Redhighlight I applied to your text is something which makes me especially likelyto close; green highlight is something which makes me especially inclined towrite.
Keep in mind that a large percentage of matches are abandoned profiles, ornon-paying members, and will not write or reply for that reason.
Matches who view and don't write, or closeyou, are the ones to be more concerned over - especially those who were activeduring a free weekend.

generallyyou wrote :

The one thing I am most passionate about:
I am passionate about being kind and helping people as often as possible. I believe in karma of sorts, I firmly believe that the energy you put out is the energy you get back. I absolutely love listening to music and find it very inspirational.

I like to see one thing (as asked.) One theme, and expand on that, rather than a list.

Althouth the "being kind" answer is not one I would close for, it is not something which inspires me to write, either. I like to see something more aspirational.

If you are going to make a statement like finding music inspirational, then say why or give examples.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Honesty! Empathy is a very very close second.

The reason I have chosen honesty is because I believe when you are honest, most of the other good qualities I am looking for come with it. Reliability, loyalty, confidence, values, wisdom, etc.

Although asking for "honesty" sounds like baggage, this is one of the better answers on this theme that I have seen.

I would still change it, since actual honest people know this is baggage, while dishonest people don't care what's in profiles.

The most influential person in my life has been:
I have had so many influential people in my life, both good and bad, it is impossible to pick one. I am grateful for them all for helping me get to where I am now.

Please answer the question. Not answering the question is lazy, stupid, or both. I put in the effort, please do the same.

Just pick someone (a professor or executive are my favorite, depending on her age.)

The three things which I am most thankful for:

I am thankful my children are happy, healthy, both physically and emotionally.
I am thankful to have a business that is growing every day.
I am thankful to have family nearby that is supportive and loving.

These are solid - better than average. I would add a specific to each. Perhaps something like this (in your own words, of course):

I am thankful my children are happy, healthy, both physically and emotionally - and seem to be budding chessmasters.
I am thankful to have a business that is growing every day - which allows me to ... / even though it ... / and I hope that ... Give it something personal.
I am thankful to have family nearby that is supportive and loving - and has a green thumb, since I couldn't grow weeds!

Your answers are generic as written. Make them funny or creative - little things get people to stop, read again, maybe laugh and therefore write.

Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Raising and/or caring for children
Achieving personal goals

Claiming humor but not showing it is one of the most common eye-rollers I see. Make us laugh.

If you want to claim goal-acheivement, show some aspirational attitudes in the profile.

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
I guess my eyes. My kids say I have sunflower eyes, that's pretty cool.

This is a failure to answer the question.

Not the most important aspect, but give it some thought.

The things I can't live without are:

My kids
Caffeine
My sewing machine
Good food and wine
The internet

Children, in this context, is too much (this will be assumed.)
Internet suggests poverty; if it is some specific aspect of the internet (you'd rather read one article in 30 newspapers than 30 articles in one newspaper), say that.

Same as before, I'd spin it personal:
My sewing machine - hey the Wright Brothers depended on it too!
Good food and wine, laughter and a pile of dishes but those can wait ...

The first thing people notice about me:
I don't really know. Maybe my glasses? You tell me!

That's three unanswered questions.

Some additional information I want you to know:
I am looking to add a little bit of excitement into my life. I am not really interested in pen pals, if and when it's feasible I'd like to meet up after a few back and forth emails. I really love to laugh, so a sense of humor is a must.

Oh, this is a disaster!

You want excitement - and I am the poor stooge who is going to be used so you can get it?

We all know you don't want pen pals - that's why we paid our good money to a dating site. Why haven't you been meeting?

Stop telling me you want to laugh. We attract who we are: make me laugh.

I suggest binning this answer, and starting from scratch.

I typically spend my leisure time:
I like spending time with my kids or enjoying a nice glass of wine and listening to music or watching a good movie. I don't really know my area too well, but I love to go exploring.

Not good. Be specific. Food / wine is appealing to me, but give detail. What kind of food? What kind of music? When?

Instead of a list, create imagery.

The last book I read and enjoyed:
The last book I read was The Broker by John Grisham. I always loved his books, but it's hard to find time to sit and read. I had one free weekend and managed to read it all. It was a miracle, I tell you! I am also a big fan of horror, like Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I like to be kept on the edge of my seat.

Spare us the apolgia and negativity. Instead, pick a theme and explain or expand on it. Tell us why ... or, just make up a paragraph that is your own intro to a horror story (as if it was a quote from a book) - let your matches try to guess and then quiz you 'cause they can't figure it out.

My friends describe me as:

Creative
Rational
Loyal
Hard Working

Overall, this is better than average.

The good news is that the things I don't like are easy to fix, since they are mostly effort / time, and not intrinsic aspects of your values.

Other than the "honesty" bit, I find little that is a serious turn-off.

I think some effort - and finding your own voice - will result in a big improvement.

generallyyou Post #3 December 31,2011, 5:49pm

Makin' diapers.

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2011

SoCal

Posts: 87

See profile

Thanks, I think I'll have a glass of wine and rework this. It will help loosen me up a bit.

generallyyou Post #4 December 31,2011, 5:49pm

Makin' diapers.

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2011

SoCal

Posts: 87

See profile

Oh, what about the pics? I have them in my album.

shapeShifter79 Post #5 December 31,2011, 6:16pm

likes dancing!

Board Leader: Health & Wellness

Joined: Apr 2011

Posts: 2,499

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I'm 32, a single dad, and live in NorCal. Love the profile and the pics! I totally wish I lived closer.

wrote :

I like spending time with my kids or enjoying a nice glass
of wine and listening to music or watching a good movie. I don't really know my area too well, but I love to go exploring.

I suppose I'd like more details on the types of movies and music you enjoy. I mean, if you're staying home to watch thrillers / action / adventure / sci-fi / indie / foreign / western / or horror we'd be a match. If you're staying home to watch "Beaches" and "Pretty Woman".. well.. maybe NorCal isn't so bad after all! Although I do appreciate most music. I still think your pics and profile are at least a B+ and should be getting interest.

How are you playing the system? I hope you're winking or at least sending first questions to the one or two guys you like most out of your daily batch. If you're too passive, you might not even be showing up on many guys' radar screen!

Last edited by shapeShifter79; December 31,2011 at 6:20pm.

D_Lion Post #6 December 31,2011, 6:18pm

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,692

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I looked at five photos:

1: No smile and seems to be a mobile phone or computer camera? I would not use this one.

2: Same problems and staring off into space. This picture makes your chin big and cheeks huge. I'd get this off your profile now.

3: Boat. Too grainy and no smile. Hey, it's a Boat - be happy! A seperate problem is that no boating is in your profile; who owns the boat? If it's yours, I'd mention boating as a hobby; if it's your family's, caption the photo; if it's an ex-partner, get rid of the photo. (I think the graininess necessitates removing it anyway.)

4: Do you really need that floation device on dry land? Methinks not. (If you wear flotation all the time, get cartridge-activated.) The good news is you're smiling, and this is the first photo to come close to showing your figure. (Not nearly close enough, though.)

5: Car. Again no smile, and a bit squinty at the brows (sun.) This picture needs a double exposure or filter to pull off. Nice where the light hits your hair, though.

***

Overall, awful photos (that's a photography comment, not an appearance comment.)

My suggestions for a dating site:

- Photo one should be head and shoulders (not so high as the neck, and not so low as cleavage.) Look directly in the camera, and smile. Clear, crisp. Buy a camera if you have to, or bribe a friend. No distractions or clutter. It's worth a day to look good, change clothes, and look for settings.

- Photo two should be full body, not cut off, not hidden, no burqa-style clothing - I want to see the figure, to figure if it makes sense to meet.

- More than two, show the hobbies / candid / alternative styles.

***

Not showing your figure is likely to lead many men to assume you're overweight. The pudgy cheek pictures, combined with the lack of even one clear, full length photo, are a problem. I'd try to get something up tomorrow.

generallyyou Post #7 December 31,2011, 7:42pm

Makin' diapers.

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2011

SoCal

Posts: 87

See profile

shapeShifter79 wrote :

I'm 32, a single dad, and live in NorCal. Love the profile and the pics! I totally wish I lived closer.

Ok I will add more detail. I am always sending first questions, if I am interested I go for it. I'm not shy, I try not to do passive dating, that is for the youngins.

generallyyou Post #8 December 31,2011, 7:47pm

Makin' diapers.

Quick Study

Joined: Dec 2011

SoCal

Posts: 87

See profile

D_Lion wrote :

Not showing your figure is likely to lead many men to assume you're overweight. The pudgy cheek pictures, combined with the lack of even one clear, full length photo, are a problem. I'd try to get something up tomorrow.

I have a round face, don't know what to tell you. I added two pictures of me doing things I enjoy: hanging out in the family boat and going camping (in this case canoeing) with my kids. They were the only two pictures I had of me doing anything. I'm the mom, therefore I'm the picture taker. I did take some photos tonight of me full length (or the best I could get). We'll see if that helps, thanks for your input.

D_Lion Post #9 December 31,2011, 8:05pm

- Ladies want to wring my neck - you have been warned!

Sage

Joined: Aug 2008

Posts: 31,692

See profile

And smile, please!

ami1uwant Post #10 January 2,2012, 10:36am

Virtuoso

Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,640

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generallyyou wrote :

Whatever it is I'm doing isn't working, so give it to me straight. Thanks everyone.

The one thing I am most passionate about:I am passionate about being kind and helping people as often as possible. I believe in karma of sorts, I firmly believe that the energy you put out is the energy you get back. I absolutely love listening to music and find it very inspirational.

You need to focus on one topic and talk about it. Passionate about is why you chose your career? Is there an interest/hobby you lova doing? Is there some interest you will never give up? Is there a cause you believe in and fight for or volunteer for?

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:Honesty! Empathy is a very very close second.

The reason I have chosen honesty is because I believe when you are honest, most of the other good qualities I am looking for come with it. Reliability, loyalty, confidence, values, wisdom, etc.

If I had a dollar for every profile I saw that said honesty... You did explain why which I give you credit for because its not so cliche.

The most influential person in my life has been:

I have had so many influential people in my life, both good and bad, it is impossible to pick one. I am grateful for them all for helping me get to where I am now.

A nonanswer....you cant dodge the questions. Just pick one and talk about why

The three things which I am most thankful for:

I am thankful my children are happy, healthy, both physically and emotionally.
I am thankful to have a business that is growing every day.
I am thankful to have family nearby that is supportive and loving.

Three of my best life-skills are:

Using humor to make friends laugh
Raising and/or caring for children
Achieving personal goals

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:

I guess my eyes. My kids say I have sunflower eyes, that's pretty cool.

This is good....very different and unique

The things I can't live without are:

My kids
Caffeine
My sewing machine
Good food and wine
The internet

The first thing people notice about me:

I don't really know. Maybe my glasses? You tell me!

You need to talk about what you like to do for fun. As a guy why would I want to date you....what would we do for fun. do I have any common hobbies or interests as you? Do we like the same movies, read the same books,etc ?

Some additional information I want you to know:

I am looking to add a little bit of excitement into my life. I am not really interested in pen pals, if and when it's feasible I'd like to meet up after a few back and forth emails. I really love to laugh, so a sense of humor is a must.

This is bad...it says you are dull and boring and want someone to come and save or rescue you....a big red flag with many men. If you love to laugh you need to demonstrate your sense of humnore in your profile.

My interests

I typically spend my leisure time:

I like spending time with my kids or enjoying a nice glass of wine and listening to music or watching a good movie. I don't really know my area too well, but I love to go exploring.

Same as I said above...you are looking to be rescued or guided. Someone who stays in the house all the time and never goes out. Dont you go out anywhere with your kids like to a park? Why dont you know the area to well?

The last book I read and enjoyed:

The last book I read was The Broker by John Grisham. I always loved his books, but it's hard to find time to sit and read. I had one free weekend and managed to read it all. It was a miracle, I tell you! I am also a big fan of horror, like Stephen King and Dean Koontz. I like to be kept on the edge of my seat.

According to my friends:

My friends describe me as:

Creative
Rational
Loyal
Hard Working

see above in blue...

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