Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #11  December 31,2011, 4:22pm
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dmac75 wrote :
OK, here is the edited version. It probably could still use some tweaks, and I hope its better than before...thanks again to you all.

Happy New Year

The one thing I am most passionate about:
I have two passions in life, Photography and White Water Kayaking. I started photography in High School, its (it's)been my career for almost 20 years and has taken me all over the country, allowed me to see things and meet people I never thought I would get the chance to.
While I don't get to do it as much as I used to, I try and go at least once a month White Water Kayaking. While it can be relaxing, it can also be an extreme challenge.
I don't expect my match to have to share my love for kayaking, it would be nice and I can teach you, but, if you're just up for coming up to camp or hang with friends at the cabin, thats(that's) ok too.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Adventure! We get one go on this ride. Lets (Let's)go to a movie premier in Hollywood for the weekend, drive to the NC mountains with no real destination and see where we end up, take a zip line canopy tour, or even head down to Key West for a laid back day in the sun. We have a business trip to Vegas in January, several coworkers and I are planning to do the "Skyjump" off Stratosphere.

Basic Information
Occupation:
Photographer/CameraTech Rep
Age 36
Height 5' 9"
Wants Kids: No
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity White, non-Hispanic
Religion: Spiritual, but not religious
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never

In my own words
The most influential person in my life has been:
My Dad. He never got a college degree, but ended up working alongside research scientists and engineers in Bio Medical (not capitalized). He taught me that the difficult roads are ones we need to travel. We moved around a lot across the country when I was a kid since his job transferred us almost every 5-6 years. I never went to one school for very long. However (take out however) this taught me how to adapt to different people, and (no comma)cultures pretty quick.(quickly). All of that and 2 kids, and my parents are still married after 44 years. I think this has been a huge factor in making me who I am.

The three things which I am most thankful for:
• Family
• I have a career that I fully enjoy
• Friends that have helped me in rough times through the years.

Three of my best life-skills are:
• Using humor to make friends laugh
• Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things
• Finding new adventures and unique experiences

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
Yes, I am a techie kind of person. BUT I (comma then small b) can't stand video games or living life in a virtual world (stop pretending your in Special Forces and go take a walk or something). I prefer to actually talk on the phone instead of texting.

The things I can't live without are:
• Family
• My Dog Harley
• Yelp!- I'm a big foodie- from sushi-to steak house and everything between
• iPhone (for searching Yelp!)
• A REAL camera, not the iPhone

The first thing people notice about me:
I have a witty sense of humor and I tend to throw out a one liner or make an obscure movie reference line even though it may fall flat. I am not afraid to talk to a large crowd, strangely, its (it's) the smaller crowds I get nervous in. (in which I get nervous)

Some additional information I want you to know:
My job keeps me traveling a good bit, so I get to spend a lot of time in Nashville, TN listening to good live country (and rock) music, eating great Cuban food in Miami, FL and holding my own BBQ competition when going though the Carolinas and Georgia (still partial to Memphis BBQ though). I am an "outdoorsy" person, and can start a campfire without lighter fluid, but no,I am not a tree hugger (not that there is anything wrong with that).
My friends call me the "beer snob" but I will be the first to call (they call, not to call) when they are out of town and looking for a good restaurant,

My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:
Hanging out with friends, cooking for them or finding a new restaurant none of us have ever been to. You often find me heading out in a pouring rain (the pouring rain) to hit a swollen river in the mountains. In town, I am often at live music (listening to live music) at the Alamo, Brickhouse or just watching some sports (Go Braves) and talking with friends at Taco Mac

The last book I read and enjoyed:
David Baldacci- "Zero Day". It was about an Army CID agent working a case in a West Virginia mining town. I also get into the Dan Brown mystery thrillers and various political biographies.

According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:
• Perceptive
• Easy-Going
• Intelligent
• Hard Working

You still need to check your grammar and punctuation as there are quite a few errors. (I highlighted some of them) Read through it very carefully as spell check will not catch bad sentence structure.

I think the way you are wording the kayaking doesn't come across well. It makes it sound like, "this is my hobby and either I will teach you or you will come on a trip and watch me or stay at the cabin while I leave you behind"

Keep it to one passion as the question asks. It makes it seems as if you can't follow that simple instruction

Just mention that you love to kayak...The rest you can figure out once you are actually in a relationship with someone.

You make the travel thing sound like you are some rich dude that will fly a woman on his jet to Key West "for the day" (as you wrote)...or have fancy Hollywood friends that you receive invitations to premiers that you attend.

If this isn't your intention, then you need to word it as you love spontaneous day trips to drive somewhere, or explore a new hiking trail. Keep it realistic.....

As well as add in something more deep than just 'adventure' that you are looking for in a woman. I mean, you don't just want some buddy to go drink beer and eat bbq with as they watch you kayak, right?

Take out the 'we' and put 'I' for the part about your upcoming work trip to Vegas.

*I haven't read the reason, if you answered this before on the boards, why you do not want any children, but at 36, this is going to lessen the pool for you greatly. Many women will already have kids as well as possibly want to have them.

Change the line about having a witty sense of humor...This is redundant. Describe the 'type' of humor if you want...dry, sarcastic, goofy, etc.

Change the part about 'finding a new restaurant that none of us have gone to'...Again, this is redundant.

Take out the entire part about video games and pretending to be special forces. It sounds negative and whiny.

Add in something about how you would love to learn from a woman or share together.

As an example, "Would love to explore new hiking trails together" or, "There is nothing better than a rainy Sunday relaxing on the couch together listening to music or trying to solve the crossword puzzle"..

The point is to not have a resume, but to make it where a woman can just see themselves fitting into your life, as well as you being excited about fitting into theirs.
Last edited by Ingytravel; December 31,2011 at 4:29pm.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #12  January 2,2012, 2:12pm
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I think it all sounds pretty good...including the white water stuff. I liked the food/music/dad additions. But I noticed the grammar errors too! (smile)
 
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