Only matched with people within a few years of my age!


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OdeliaNesbit is offline OdeliaNesbit Post #1  December 28,2011, 4:30pm
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When I meet people in real life, they are usually between 5 and 15 years older than I am (19). The reaction to me of anybody younger than that is either confusion, dislike, or simle lack of interest, the most common of the three, and it is reciprocated. I don't know exactly why: perhaps it is my iterests, the places I like to go to (no 19-year-olds at the opera), or simply habit.
And it is not that I mind meeting people my age: I know that we might click. But I would like my searches to show people of 25-35 as well - the age range I initially selcted.
This isn't happening, despite the fact that I called CustomerSupport. What else can I do?
 
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moonette is offline moonette Post #2  December 28,2011, 4:39pm
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Age is a mutual match, meaning those folks 25-35 have to be willing to be matched with 19 year olds.

I know several 19 year olds who do opera and I see more at the theater. You can meet them in the theater auditorium and lobby during the intermissions.
Last edited by moonette; December 28,2011 at 4:42pm.
 
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OdeliaNesbit is offline OdeliaNesbit Post #3  December 28,2011, 4:51pm
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I didn't mean to be snobby. I've met 14-year-olds who went to university and were very interesting to talk to: it is just not a common case.
What I mean is, age shouldn't be a restriction. I have friends of all ages - from 5 to 75, and I think that's the way it's supposed to be. If we were limited to people of our generation, we would miss out on a lot of learning.
As for my age preferences, it also has to do with the way I was raised. In my country, huge age gaps are commonplace: for example, my father is 25 years older than my mother.
Last edited by OdeliaNesbit; December 28,2011 at 4:54pm.
 
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eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #4  December 28,2011, 4:53pm
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EH isn't a site where you can do "searches" like you can on other sites. It's generally geared towards those seeking serious long term relationships. Most of those folks in the age range you mentioned aren't going to be interested in a long term relationship with a 19 year old, no matter how mature you think may be. I know when I was that age the only older guys who were interested in dating me were interested for the wrong reasons.

I would think a site like match.com or OKcupid where you can search based on criteria you input and see all the options might be better than one like eH where you not only put in your preferences, but you have to match your matches preferences too to even see each other. You can even do keyword searches like "opera" on those sites to find people with similar interests to you, regardless of age.
 
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OdeliaNesbit is offline OdeliaNesbit Post #5  December 28,2011, 4:59pm
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Does this mean that I've wasted my money on EH, and there is nothing else to do but move to match.com?
 
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lissa783 is offline lissa783 Post #6  December 28,2011, 5:02pm
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OdeliaNesbit wrote :
Does this mean that I've wasted my money on EH, and there is nothing else to do but move to match.com?
No, because it gives you new matches every day you have to wait and see who you get matched with. You may want to expand your search area if you are not getting the matches you want.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #7  December 28,2011, 7:20pm
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Generally speaking 19 is not the age that is prevalent on eHarmony or any dating site. Most 19 year old are meeting people to date through school, bars / clubs, etc. and are not using dating sites.

Again, generally speaking there is a huge difference between where a 19 year old is at in life versus where a 25 year old is at.

Because of these things your dating pool on an online dating site is likely going to be rather limited.
 
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eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #8  December 28,2011, 10:01pm
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OdeliaNesbit wrote :
Does this mean that I've wasted my money on EH, and there is nothing else to do but move to match.com?
Not necessarily. Keep using it so you get your money's worth at least. I'm a proponent of using more than one site at once. I personally use one pay site and one free site at a time. Also, try to be open minded about the matches they are sending to you, since they're probably sending them to you for a reason. You don't need to have every hobby match up with someone else, so maybe concentrate on communicating with guys who say they're open to trying new things and experiences?
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #9  December 28,2011, 10:13pm
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OdeliaNesbit wrote :
I didn't mean to be snobby. I've met 14-year-olds who went to university and were very interesting to talk to: it is just not a common case.
What I mean is, age shouldn't be a restriction. I have friends of all ages - from 5 to 75, and I think that's the way it's supposed to be. If we were limited to people of our generation, we would miss out on a lot of learning.
As for my age preferences, it also has to do with the way I was raised. In my country, huge age gaps are commonplace: for example, my father is 25 years older than my mother.

You may have that feeling on age....but your matches dont.

There is a big difference between 19 and 25 in terms of maturity and responsibility.

A man in their late 20s or early 30s will have nothing to do with a woman who is 20 or younger....its not socially acceptable.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #10  December 28,2011, 10:15pm
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OdeliaNesbit wrote :
Does this mean that I've wasted my money on EH, and there is nothing else to do but move to match.com?


At your age the better options to use are match or OKcupid...eharmony is more for those in their late 20s and older who hasnt had the luck in finding that person.

Eharmony is also more geared toward people who are looking for something serious and long term...not something casual and fun.
 
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