Not sure if it's worth it for someone like me to join...


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SixFtTallWoman is offline SixFtTallWoman Post #1  December 26,2011, 7:20am
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Months ago I started creating my profile on here after a much-younger friend met and married someone she met through eHarmony. However, I'm hesitant to waste the money because I joined eHarmony once before, years ago, and I'm not sure it's going to work for me.

First of all, I'm a female in my fifties, but I do see that there are other people my age on eHarmony now, so I'm not uncomfortable with that.

However, when I joined eHarmony after my divorce in the early 00's-- and this was before the sappy TV commercials and before it was as well-known as it is now--I signed up for six months and received ZERO matches. None whatsoever. At the end of the six months, eHarmony asked if I wanted to renew and I said "of course not". They wanted to know WHY, and I said, "Well, duh, because you didn't ever send me any matches." They then replied that they'd review my profile, etc., and then they got back to me. It turned out the reason they claimed not to send me any matches was because I am too tall. Yes, I am abnormally tall for a female, six feet and one half inch to be exact, but there really isn't a damn thing I can do about that. They even went so far as to say that only 3% of the men on the planet would be interested in dating a woman who wasn't at least half an inch shorter than they are. Then--incredibly--they asked again if I wanted to renew and SUGGESTED I CHANGE MY PROFILE. And lie about my height???? Of course, I did not.

So now I'm wondering--is this type of height restriction still in effect on eHarmony? Will I still not be considered for any matches because eHarmony feels I am some kind of freak show because I am "too tall" a woman according to their research? I've noticed the site looks different than it did back then, the profile questions are somewhat different, and I was wondering if the world of eHarmony has perhaps changed. Obviously, I do not want to waste any money joining if this prejudice is still part of the dynamic here.

Just wondering if anyone on the inside knows anything about this. Thanks.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #2  December 26,2011, 10:01am
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Guess they never heard of Elle MacPherson?.....put 5'12"....let them chew on that one...Good Luck
 
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moonette is offline moonette Post #3  December 26,2011, 10:04am
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Call customer service and ask.

Most of my matches over 50 say that they're well over 6' tall.
 
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SixFtTallWoman is offline SixFtTallWoman Post #4  December 26,2011, 10:33am
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moonette wrote :
Call customer service and ask.

Most of my matches over 50 say that they're well over 6' tall.
Good suggestion about customer service. Thanks.

LOL, though, on most of your matches saying they're well over 6' tall. I'm assuming you mean men. Trust me, the majority of men will lie about their height. It's a source of amusement to me and other taller women I know. Some guy will stand there, top of his head at my nose level and swear that I must be taller than I say I am because HE'S 6 feet tall, while in reality the guy is about 5'8". Now I don't CARE if the guy is 5'8" but why lie about height? It's something that's pretty easy to confirm!
 
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moonette is offline moonette Post #5  December 26,2011, 10:40am
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Half my matches say they are 6'2" or 6'3", a few have said they are 6'5" or 6'8". I haven't yet met a match who exaggerated his height if he's over 6' tho I've heard that's common.
 
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SixFtTallWoman is offline SixFtTallWoman Post #6  December 26,2011, 11:00am
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moonette wrote :
Half my matches say they are 6'2" or 6'3", a few have said they are 6'5" or 6'8". I haven't yet met a match who exaggerated his height if he's over 6' tho I've heard that's common.
Ha, sound as if they could be related to me.

As I said, it's not about what I want, but about the fact that last time out the system itself didn't want to match me up with anyone who was not a few inches taller.

I think it should be up to the man to decide whether or not he can deal with a taller woman, not eHarmony.
 
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Buck is offline Buck Post #7  December 26,2011, 11:02am
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I can't speak to the matching details you were told.

I can say that when I was active a couple years back, I looked forward to meeting taller ladies, but there didn't seem to be very many - only two come to mind. Could I possibly be the only man with this preference? Unlikely.

That said, I doubt there's been such a dramatic change in your dating pool that you'd notice a significant increase in the number of your matches.

Good luck whatever you decide!
 
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SixFtTallWoman is offline SixFtTallWoman Post #8  December 26,2011, 11:17am
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Buck wrote :
I can't speak to the matching details you were told.

I can say that when I was active a couple years back, I looked forward to meeting taller ladies, but there didn't seem to be very many - only two come to mind. Could I possibly be the only man with this preference? Unlikely.

That said, I doubt there's been such a dramatic change in your dating pool that you'd notice a significant increase in the number of your matches.

Good luck whatever you decide!
Well, since the last "dating pool" on here was ZERO, just ONE would be a significant increase in the number of matches! Hehehe.
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #9  December 26,2011, 4:52pm
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SixFtTallWoman wrote :
...I am abnormally tall for a female, six feet and one half inch to be exact...only 3% of the men on the planet would be interested in dating a woman who wasn't at least half an inch shorter than they are...

Will I still not be considered for any matches because eHarmony feels I am some kind of freak show because I am "too tall" a woman according to their research? ...Obviously, I do not want to waste any money joining if this prejudice is still part of the dynamic here...
Yes, you are tall, but you are not “freakishly” tall. I have a bunch of close female friends who are in the 6’ to 6’ 3” range. A good friend of mine who is 6’ 1” just moved in with her boyfriend whom she met on eH.

First question to ask yourself: Would you be open to dating someone shorter? If you would be, make sure that you set your height preference to 1 (lowest preference setting). This will also max the number of matches you get. Many men have no issue dating a taller woman.

I have the reverse problem. I am 5’ 9” and prefer to date guys who are taller than me. During a rash (over 30+ matches) of guys who were 5’1” and 5’ 2,” I called customer service several times, and each time, they trotted out a story of a 6’ 1” woman who married her 5’ 2” match. I slid my preference to 7 (most important) and have since only received matches 5’ 9” to 6’ 7”. YMMV, but the mode among my matches has since been 6’ 3”. Tall men are online in numbers, but bear in mind, that just as in real life, they are the minority, and even more so the higher a cutoff you want. As you slide your preference to make this of greater importance, your pool will shrink dramatically.

I would encourage you to be quite open on other parameters. Customer service can help you make sure that these are as broad as possible (while still acceptable to you).

My suggestions to your other concerns:

  1. Create a profile with photos, and wait a few weeks to see how things go before coughing up payment. You won’t be able to communicate or see photos until you pay, but you’ll get a feel for the types of matches you’ll get. If you decide it’s worth paying, maybe try a 3 month subscription instead of 6 months. I don’t think 1 month is enough time to figure out whether a site will truly work for you. You’ve barely figured out how best to use the site at that point. 3 or 6 months gives you a better shot. (I had a 3-month subscription, and just renewed.)
  2. Explore other sites as well. Different sites work better for different people based on your relationship goals, age, location etc. You mention that you are in your 50’s. Besides the more mainstream dating sites, there are specialty sites, including some for older daters that you might want to take a look at as well.
  3. There are also tons of dating events and mixers geared to tall people. Typically, men have to be 6’1 or 6’ 2” or taller. Women need to be over 6’. Explore these as well.

You can post your profile and photos for review. You’ll get some great advice and feedback from others here. Often there are things that you might not realize are turn-offs, especially if you haven’t dated in a while.

Best of luck! Enjoy the adventure, wherever it takes you!
 
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emma_hazards is offline emma_hazards Post #10  December 26,2011, 5:07pm
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SixFtTallWoman wrote :
LOL, though, on most of your matches saying they're well over 6' tall. I'm assuming you mean men. Trust me, the majority of men will lie about their height. It's a source of amusement to me and other taller women I know. Some guy will stand there, top of his head at my nose level and swear that I must be taller than I say I am because HE'S 6 feet tall, while in reality the guy is about 5'8". Now I don't CARE if the guy is 5'8" but why lie about height? It's something that's pretty easy to confirm!
Agree with Moonette. Men over 6’ have no need to lie...and don’t, at least not in my experience! My brothers are 6’3” and 6’ 5”, and I have a love affair with very high heels. If you are anywhere between 5’ 8” and 6’ 8” I can estimate your height within a ˝”.

All bets are off though when a man is 6’ or under. Eyeballing their photos to estimate their height has worked for me so far. I have dated 2 matches who listed their height as 5’ 11”. They were when we met. One match claimed to be 5’ 10” and was when we met. I have seen photos for two matches where the guys claimed to be 6’ and clearly were not. I closed those matches. Dishonesty is the biggest deal-breaker in my book. I have dated a couple of guys shorter than me in real life, but never someone who deliberately lied to me to try to get me to date him.

…and yes, it’s incredibly annoying when a guy claims that I don’t know my own height because he is 5’ 9” or 5’ 10”. We both clearly know my height! Often I’ll just drop it after a few denials on his part because the silly charade clearly means far more to him than his own credibility.
 
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