Is my eHarmony experience normal, or am I expecting too much?

What about me?

I do get what you are saying above, and I feel the same way. I feel that I have a good profile (which I have done a LOT of work on) and decent photos and all that. And, I still have very little success online. It's frustrating. What the heck are people looking for, anyway?! I don't know why online dating is so hard for some people - seemingly nice, normal, generally attractive people - and why it seems so easy for others. That's also frustrating.

Even when I feel that I am doing everything "right", if I am not happy with my results, I figure there has got to be something that I am not seeing, or not doing. So I try to be open to what others might suggest that has worked for them. It might not work for me, but I am willing to at least consider it.

Maverick if it helps, if we lived near each other and we were matched, I would totally go out with you. I remember your profile and I liked it a lot

Mitchell, I often wonder what people are looking for also. I often feel like I am almost the "total package" in terms of what many guys SAY they want, although what they say they want and what they actually go for are often very different. I don't go after the most attractive/fit guys or anything like that, I know better. But it still seems a lot of them, at least online, are after some holy grail of a woman, or the "chupacabra" like Patty Stanger says.

MAV....can I call you that> :}
Mitchell has been gone a while and probably doesn't know we already scoped out your profile and that it was pretty good. That you have a good job and are pretty too. Don't get so defensive!

We remind LOTS of people who are having the same problem over and over again (all the guys I date are jerks! Women all treat me like a doormat! etc) that they are the common denominator.

When an individual encounters the same problem over time and space, the chances are good that the individual is effecting the result. Because not all guys are jerks and not all women treat guys like doormats, etc.

Hi Maverick! Didn't mean to offend. I certainly could have been more sensitive in the way I gave my feedback. When someone starts off by stating that they are having lousy results...but no thanks, I don't want your unsolicited advice, they get the 30-sec "do-something" opinion, not the thoughtful, time-consuming, "here is a list of tips to consider" version.

Many things play into anyone's success. mitchell175 did a very nice job of offering some helpful tips.

I do remember your profile now. I thought you would make someone a great match. I loved your sense of humor, and I thought you were really cute. I agree that everyone has standards that they are unwilling to compromise. I certainly can't argue with yours because I share them and many others.

Two suggestions I will add to mitchell's:

One cannot always judge attractiveness by photos. I have gone out with a couple of guys where I was on the fence about their looks. Some were much better looking in person. Ditto for me. Every guy's jaws drops to the floor when he first sees me in person, and he spends the night grinning from ear to ear and telling me that my pictures do not begin to do me justice.

So take a chance if you're on the fence about someone's looks.

Also guys...some guys at least...do a lot, and I mean a lot of asking. I think that's why they date more. Are you asking out enough women in enough settings? You don't have to answer. Just food for thought.

Best of luck!