Slightly disturbing situation...


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Bethiegirl is offline Bethiegirl Post #1  December 12,2011, 4:33pm
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OK, I joined eHarmony about 3 weeks ago, and have been enjoying it so far. My matches are pretty decent for the most part. Here's the thing, though: I actually know some of my matches in "real life," and there is a reason they are single! They are some of the strangest, oddest, weirdest guys I've ever met. Of course, they look really good online. Nothing weird, no red flags, everything I could possibly want in a guy, etc. But I KNOW them, and I would never be interested in them.

This makes me wonder how many of my other matches are like that...great online, but weird in person. Or am I just as weird, and that's why I'm being matched with these people? (I have noticed that I'm matched with a really high percentage of engineers, which is fine. I'm ok with geeky and brilliant, as long as they are socially semi-normal!)

Has anyone else had this happen? Any advice?
 
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AndieIsMe is offline AndieIsMe — Advice Member-Moderator Post #2  December 12,2011, 4:48pm
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I would just close them if you already know you wouldn't be interested in dating them.

I have been matched with men I already know. Usually I will close them because I know I'm not interested or I know they wouldn't be interested in me. You can usually tell from in person interactions if things could ever progress beyond acquaintances or co-workers.

Are these men you know through work? If so, that could be why you are matched. Not because you happen to work together, but because you are both working in the same or similar field.

Don't worry about them and their profiles, unless they are saying they are single when they aren't (which is a TOS violation) or list some other TOS violation like contact info, etc.
 
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Nanette is offline Nanette Post #3  December 12,2011, 4:48pm
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Bethiegirl wrote :
OK, I joined eHarmony about 3 weeks ago, and have been enjoying it so far. My matches are pretty decent for the most part. Here's the thing, though: I actually know some of my matches in "real life," and there is a reason they are single! They are some of the strangest, oddest, weirdest guys I've ever met. Of course, they look really good online. Nothing weird, no red flags, everything I could possibly want in a guy, etc. But I KNOW them, and I would never be interested in them.

This makes me wonder how many of my other matches are like that...great online, but weird in person. Or am I just as weird, and that's why I'm being matched with these people? (I have noticed that I'm matched with a really high percentage of engineers, which is fine. I'm ok with geeky and brilliant, as long as they are socially semi-normal!)

Has anyone else had this happen? Any advice?
lol you missed the thread. it does happen.

to answer your question, i've always felt that online dating levels the playing field, plus it opens up new opportunities that they wouldnt have access to otherwise. i personally dont do it anymore and would rather find someone "in their element"
 
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tangochef is offline tangochef Post #4  December 12,2011, 5:29pm
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I sure have had a few weird encounters. I think it is par for the course.
 
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LastCookieInTheJar is offline LastCookieInTheJar Post #5  December 12,2011, 5:51pm
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Couple questions.
How many matches are we talking about that you actually know "in real life"?
Two? Three? More?
Also, define "strangest, oddest, weirdest".
Do you have to see these people on a regular basis?
 
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Dropdeadredtx is offline Dropdeadredtx Post #6  December 12,2011, 6:06pm
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I guess that is one of the advantages of living in one of the largest cities in the US - I have never been matched with anyone on any site that I knew IRL, except for once - immediately after my ex and I split up and I moved out, he came up in my suggested matches on Yahoo Personals.
 
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Bethiegirl is offline Bethiegirl Post #7  December 12,2011, 6:33pm
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LastCookieInTheJar wrote :
Couple questions.
How many matches are we talking about that you actually know "in real life"?
Two? Three? More?
Also, define "strangest, oddest, weirdest".
Do you have to see these people on a regular basis?
One that I've known for about 15 years, and another couple who are casual acquaintances (I would recognize them if I saw them around town, but we've never spent a lot of time together...primarily because of their oddities!). There have been a couple more that I recognized because of mutual friends, but I'm not sure how odd they are. I'm currently communicating with one of them...I've been told he's weird (not dangerous, just different), but I'm going to make my own decision about that.

As far as strangest, oddest, weirdest, I mean people who have a hard time functioning socially. Conversations are short and awkward. They don't have friends. Even people who have known them for a long time admit that these people are...unique.

I do not see most of these people on a regular basis. The one that I've known for a while is likely to appear at a few various events throughout the year that I attend. The others I rarely run into. Being matched with these folks on eHarmony won't cause any awkwardness in "real life," thank goodness! It just seemed a little disturbing that I'm being paired with these guys...it would seem that I'm not alone in this situation, though!
 
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eharmonyjc is online now eharmonyjc Post #8  December 12,2011, 7:42pm
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I think you would find out pretty quickly if they ended up being odd in person too. Hell, you could probably even find out through a phone conversation. Unfortunately that "weeding out" process is par for the course with online dating.
 
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Wiseman2 is online now Wiseman2 Post #9  December 13,2011, 2:54am
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They are within your age and distance parameters and they are single.
eH doesn't hand pick these guys for you it, so why take it personally? It just matches people up based on age, distance and a bunch of other settings and preferences....Good Luck...
Bethiegirl wrote :
It just seemed a little disturbing that I'm being paired with these guys..
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #10  December 13,2011, 8:48am
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The advice is simple, find the close button and click on it.

They're all there for the same reason as you.... to find someone special.
 
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