Slightly disturbing situation...


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FairOne is offline FairOne Post #11  December 13,2011, 12:53pm
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Bethiegirl wrote :
This makes me wonder how many of my other matches are like that...great online, but weird in person. Or am I just as weird, and that's why I'm being matched with these people? (I have noticed that I'm matched with a really high percentage of engineers, which is fine. I'm ok with geeky and brilliant, as long as they are socially semi-normal!)

Has anyone else had this happen? Any advice?
I wouldn't worry about this too much. You're liable to meet some strange men on or offline, but just like you can tell that the guys you know IRL are strange, you'll be able to tell with the online guys soon enough after you meet..strange doesn't tend to hide for long
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #12  December 13,2011, 1:44pm
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Bethiegirl wrote :
This makes me wonder how many of my other matches are like that...great online, but weird in person. Or am I just as weird, and that's why I'm being matched with these people? (I have noticed that I'm matched with a really high percentage of engineers, which is fine. I'm ok with geeky and brilliant, as long as they are socially semi-normal!)
eH is matching you based on the personality quiz as well as location, etc. You are not incorrect in your assumption that you actually do have more than a little in common with your matches.

Edit: Another possibility is that they answered the questions based on what they'd prefer to be like, instead of who they actually are. That would mean their secret wish is to be more like you.
Last edited by harnomygirl; December 13,2011 at 1:59pm.
 
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Ingytravel is offline Ingytravel Post #13  December 13,2011, 2:40pm
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Bethiegirl wrote :
OK, I joined eHarmony about 3 weeks ago, and have been enjoying it so far. My matches are pretty decent for the most part. Here's the thing, though: I actually know some of my matches in "real life," and there is a reason they are single! They are some of the strangest, oddest, weirdest guys I've ever met. Of course, they look really good online. Nothing weird, no red flags, everything I could possibly want in a guy, etc. But I KNOW them, and I would never be interested in them.

This makes me wonder how many of my other matches are like that...great online, but weird in person. Or am I just as weird, and that's why I'm being matched with these people? (I have noticed that I'm matched with a really high percentage of engineers, which is fine. I'm ok with geeky and brilliant, as long as they are socially semi-normal!)

Has anyone else had this happen? Any advice?
This means that they 'know' you too....And who knows...they may feel the same about you...LOL (And keep in mind...you are single too!) What is 'odd or weird' to you could be perfect for someone else.

This is bound to happen in smaller towns...as well as some larger cities with a high percentage of singles....Just close them and move on..

The only thing I can say is that most everyone tries to put their best foot forward on a dating profile....Just like a resume...We are writing what is GOOD about ourselves....We don't talk about our own quirks...foul moods....sharp tongue....etc.

I got matched with many engineers as well...Have dated a few long term and even married one!...They...just like everyone else have good/quirky traits....You can certainly delete every single one if you choose....or....look at the profiles and decide if they have other qualities that interest you.

This world is thankfully full of all sorts of people...Sometimes we can forget we aren't perfect ourselves

Good luck!
Last edited by Ingytravel; December 13,2011 at 2:43pm.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #14  December 13,2011, 3:51pm
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Bethiegirl wrote :
OK, I joined eHarmony about 3 weeks ago, and have been enjoying it so far. My matches are pretty decent for the most part. Here's the thing, though: I actually know some of my matches in "real life," and there is a reason they are single! They are some of the strangest, oddest, weirdest guys I've ever met. Of course, they look really good online. Nothing weird, no red flags, everything I could possibly want in a guy, etc. But I KNOW them, and I would never be interested in them.

This makes me wonder how many of my other matches are like that...great online, but weird in person. Or am I just as weird, and that's why I'm being matched with these people? (I have noticed that I'm matched with a really high percentage of engineers, which is fine. I'm OK with geeky and brilliant, as long as they are socially semi-normal!)

Has anyone else had this happen? Any advice?
Hmm, I be an engineer Geeky , I am technically challenged Brilliant , no one has ever accused me of being brilliant at anything. Certainly none of my professors. The only person that ever thought that I was pretty smart was my mom, but that is what moms do

Not sure what you are asking if "anyone had this happen"? Yes, I have been matched to someone that I knew. Knew her from right here on the Advice boards. When we were matched we played the eHarmony game and went through the GC process, and at the end had a laugh about it.

Maybe you are asking if you are just as weird as you think your matches are. I am inclined to say that you probably are. You are matched based on the 29 Dimensions of Compatibility which are determined by how you have answered all those couple of hundred questions in the Personality Profile Questionnaire. If you have carefully considered each question and been honest in how it relates to you when you answered each question I believe that it does a pretty good job of describing your personality, intellect, values, etc. It is pretty hard to "game" the system unless someone has taken the Questionnaire before and saved the questions and answers, done an awful lot of research into psychology and personality and then figured out how the eHarmony system is going to match up the various 29 Dimensions to be matched to YOU. I have my doubts that even the psychologists who have created the eHarmony system would be able to do this.

So the bottom line is that the matches that you are getting and consider weird are likely no more weird than you are in your own way.

I don't know you and I don't know your matches, but I do know engineers. Odds are engineers are going to be first borns, introverts and thinkers. This does not make us weird.
 
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Wonderwoman402 is offline Wonderwoman402 Post #15  December 13,2011, 4:53pm
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Bethiegirl wrote :
This makes me wonder how many of my other matches are like that...great online, but weird in person?
I always keep in mind that ANYONE can "look good on paper." That is why I don't get excited about any match until we've met in person, and even then I'm cognizant that we're all on our best behavior on a first date.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #16  December 13,2011, 6:02pm
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This is going to happen especially if you live in a smaller town and have very narrow settings in items such as age and distance.
 
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Bethiegirl is offline Bethiegirl Post #17  December 26,2011, 4:06pm
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Gr8Guyn2008 wrote :
I don't know you and I don't know your matches, but I do know engineers. Odds are engineers are going to be first borns, introverts and thinkers. This does not make us weird.
I'm a first born, an introvert, and a thinker. Maybe I should have been an engineer!

Thanks for all the comments. Yeah, I'm probably just as "weird" as they are. After all, I did date an engineer for a while, and even though he was definitely what most people would call "weird", I liked him a lot. More than a lot. Heck, I probably would have married the guy if he'd asked...but he didn't.
 
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