Icebreakers... whats the point?


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PrettyNerdy is offline PrettyNerdy Post #1  October 24,2011, 5:15am
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Seems like I'm getting icebreakers from quite a few guys... But they never initiate GC. Whats the point? Is it just a "look at me" button? I feel like if they took the time to seen a smile, or whatever, wouldnt it have been even better to initiate? Or are they waiting for ME to initiate... Heck, I dont know.

Should I put in my additional details section that I dont respond to icebreakers? Cause in all honesty, I never do... It would save them the time of sitting there waiting for me to initiate. Or would that be rude to indicate I dont respond to IB?
 
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nick222 is offline nick222 Post #2  October 24,2011, 5:32am
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Usually if somebody sends you an icebreaker without attempting GC or OC, it means they're a non-subscriber, and that's the only way they can communicate. (If you even want to call it communicating.) Women do it, too.
 
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Gr8Guyn2008 is offline Gr8Guyn2008 Post #3  October 24,2011, 5:53am
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PrettyNerdy wrote :
Seems like I'm getting icebreakers from quite a few guys... But they never initiate GC. Whats the point? Is it just a "look at me" button? I feel like if they took the time to seen a smile, or whatever, wouldn't it have been even better to initiate? Or are they waiting for ME to initiate... Heck, I don't know.

Should I put in my additional details section that I don't respond to icebreakers? Cause in all honesty, I never do... It would save them the time of sitting there waiting for me to initiate. Or would that be rude to indicate I don't respond to IB?
As Nick said someone who sends IceBreakers is most likely to be a non-paying member. This would certainly be true for guys as many girls still believe that the guy HAS to initiate. That subject has been addressed many times already so I won't go into the absurdity of that here.

No it would not be rude to state in your profile that you don't respond to IceBreakers. I have seen this stated in quite a few profiles. I don't think it will have any effect on your experience. I doubt that it would drive away any guys that were going to send you First Questions. I also doubt that it is going to keep any of the guys that are non-paying members from sending you an IceBreaker.

FWIW I do respond to IceBreakers and have never had ANY match that sent an IceBreaker ever respond to my First Questions.
 
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harnomygirl is offline harnomygirl Post #4  October 24,2011, 6:05am
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They are non-paying members. Updating your profile is a good idea. They might be interested enough to buy a subscription just so they can communicate with you.
 
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ScottK is offline ScottK Post #5  October 24,2011, 6:28am
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As you have suggested, there is no GOOD point in sending Icebreakers.

The only people that do are:
1) Shy people.
2) Brand new members that don't know that they should send first questions instead.
3) Females who are torn between the old idea they shouldn't initiate first contact, but yet are really interested in a guy.
4) Non-paying members.


As a guy, I rarely get Icebreakers sent to me, since I initiate contact right away or Close. The gals typically don't have time to send a valid Icebreaker to me.

(I say "valid", because the "Smile" Icebreaker is too close to the Photo button, and you will get lots of people pressing the "Smile" Icebreaker by mistake, when they really intended to just look at your Photos)
 
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BabyYoda is offline BabyYoda Post #6  October 24,2011, 6:53am
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PrettyNerdy wrote :
Seems like I'm getting icebreakers from quite a few guys... But they never initiate GC. Whats the point? Is it just a "look at me" button? I feel like if they took the time to seen a smile, or whatever, wouldnt it have been even better to initiate? Or are they waiting for ME to initiate... Heck, I dont know.

Should I put in my additional details section that I dont respond to icebreakers? Cause in all honesty, I never do... It would save them the time of sitting there waiting for me to initiate. Or would that be rude to indicate I dont respond to IB?
I don't understand why responding to icebreakers is an issue for you? Granted, it isn't the same as sending GC questions or requesting email communication, but it also doesn't mean that a person is a non subscriber or disinterested in communicating with you either.

If you choose not to respond to IBs, then I understand. However, if you expect people to always initiate communication, then you could possibly miss out on some quality matches. I was recently sent an IB and I responded by sending GC questions(ftr, I don't care for GC, but decided to go ahead and go through the process). I finished GC with said woman and now at the OC stage. Another woman sent GC questions and we just began the OC stage as well. So, the moral of the story is that your success on eH is contingent upon how much time and effort you are willing to invest in the process as well as how open you are to accepting all possibilities on eH.

B.Y.
 
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PrettyNerdy is offline PrettyNerdy Post #7  October 24,2011, 7:05am
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Thanks for the responses guys. Good to know other women put this in their profile. I'm pretty old fashioned and only looking for the same, which means the man leads and initiates. Everyone has their preference so I am entitled to mine. Honestly I wouldnt want to go forward with any guy who wasnt assertive enough to start GC. Some women like shy, quiet guys, I'm not one of them. Especially since I'm a shy, quiet girl myself. I need that counter balanced somehow!

Now how do I word my dislike of IBs without sounding like a total witch???
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #8  October 24,2011, 7:27am
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Someone sending you an icebreaker IS initiating contact with you. You choosing to ignore it is a bit of a mistake.

Reason I say that is that you are in a younger demographic where people joining EH are used to sites like Match and OKCupid. Icebreakers on those sites are popular. New users are not exactly familiar with EH "culture". So you may be passing up some pretty good matches by refusing to respond.

As for wanting a guy who leads, once you get past the icebreaker/question/e-mail confusion on EH, it's really easy to tell by the guy's actions whether he is the type to lead or follow. Either he is asking you out and planning the date or he is dragging his feet asking you to plan the date. That's when you have enough data about the guy to weed him out without making the mistake of tossing the baby out with the bathwater.
 
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PrettyNerdy is offline PrettyNerdy Post #9  October 24,2011, 8:20am
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DancingFool wrote :
Someone sending you an icebreaker IS initiating contact with you. You choosing to ignore it is a bit of a mistake.

Reason I say that is that you are in a younger demographic where people joining EH are used to sites like Match and OKCupid. Icebreakers on those sites are popular. New users are not exactly familiar with EH "culture". So you may be passing up some pretty good matches by refusing to respond.

As for wanting a guy who leads, once you get past the icebreaker/question/e-mail confusion on EH, it's really easy to tell by the guy's actions whether he is the type to lead or follow. Either he is asking you out and planning the date or he is dragging his feet asking you to plan the date. That's when you have enough data about the guy to weed him out without making the mistake of tossing the baby out with the bathwater.
When you put it that way, you definitely have a point! And anyone who references throwing out the baby with the bathwater is alright with me... =P
Last edited by PrettyNerdy; October 24,2011 at 9:11am.
 
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DancingFool is offline DancingFool Post #10  October 24,2011, 9:32am
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PrettyNerdy wrote :
When you put it that way, you definitely have a point! And anyone who references throwing out the baby with the bathwater is alright with me... =P
LOL... I'm very much like you in that I have virtually zero patience or desire to deal with the shy/timid types.

However, I've also learned that when it comes to online introductions, it's hard to judge someone correctly unless you actually communicate with them. For instance, my ex from some time ago was the ultimate dominant, outgoing, guy's guy. However, I initiated those first questions to him. It's from there that he took the lead and ran with it asking me to talk and meet on his second e-mail. On the other hand, some very shy guys will initiate just because they feel safe behind the computer screen and the shy part comes out when it comes time to actually plan a real date.

Basically, I found that all those profiles and questions can be really deceiving (unintentionally so), so it's best to keep your mind wide open and talk to people unless there is some huge glaring red flag or deal breaker in their profile.
 
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