calgal1117 is offline calgal1117 Post #1  July 22,2011, 2:40pm
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Perplexed!

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Joined: Jul 2011

Pasadena, CA

Posts: 2

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I'm a 35-year-old female and I recently switched to eHarmony from another dating site because I thought I'd find better quality matches here. However, despite getting HUNDREDS (yes, really) of matches in the last few weeks, I'm not getting many requests to communicate and few responses to my requests. On my other site I never lacked for emails and dates, so I'm not sure what's going on here. Am I doing something wrong, or it is just me?

Any advice/comments/suggestions?

Thanks!


The one thing I am most passionate about:
I love to bake and cook. Creating new recipes and designs for cakes and cookies fills my creative needs, and tastes good too! One of my goals is to open my own bakery. Also, spending time with the people I love, and enjoying my life.

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is
:
Someone who is kind and loving. A sense of humor helps too.

About Me
Basic Information

Occupation: Marketing
Age 35
Height 5' 7"
Wants Kids: Yes
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity African-American
Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never


In my own words
The most influential person in my life has been:

My siblings have taught me just about everything I ever needed to know. How to share, how to forgive, how to apologize, how to love unconditionally. I'm grateful and lucky to have them.

The three things which I am most thankful for:

* People who love me
* Laughing til I cry
* Rainy days

Three of my best life-skills are:

* Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
* Being a good friend and companion
* Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
Not sure really, I don't spend too much time thinking about it.

The things I can't live without are:

* laughter
* books
* passion
* family
* pillows

The first thing people notice about me:
That I'm usually pretty happy.

Some additional information I want you to know:
I don't want to spoil the surprise.

My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:

Music, movies, internet research - there's always some topic I need to know more about, reading (I love sci-fi and historical books), trying to be healthy - inside and out. My idea of a good time is making dinner then watching a DVD, or heading to the mountains or beach for a day trip, happy hour with friends, or trying something different. I'm also big on traveling to new places and re-visiting my my favorites such as Seattle, London, New York, Sonoma, and pretty much any beach.

The last book I read and enjoyed:
I love to read and I enjoy a variety of topics. The last book I read was a biography of Eleanor of Aquitaine. History is fascinating.


According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:


* Dependable
* Easy-Going
* Intelligent
* Generous
 
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annother is offline annother Post #2  July 22,2011, 4:30pm
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Alberta

Posts: 10,735

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calgal1117 wrote :
The one thing I am most passionate about:
I love to bake and cook. Creating new recipes and designs for cakes and cookies fills my creative needs, and tastes good too! One of my goals is to open my own bakery. Also, spending time with the people I love, and enjoying my life.
Keep this just to cooking and expand on it. Describe a favourite dish. Describe what it feels like to cook for someone you love.

wrote :

The most important thing I am looking for in a person is
:
Someone who is kind and loving. A sense of humor helps too.
This is pretty much standard. These are things everyone is looking for. Can you identify a skill, characteristic, or attribute that you imagine your ideal man having? You don't want anyone in general, you want someone in particular.

wrote :
About Me
Basic Information

Occupation: Marketing
Age 35
Height 5' 7"
Wants Kids: Yes
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity African-American
Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never


In my own words
The most influential person in my life has been:

My siblings have taught me just about everything I ever needed to know. How to share, how to forgive, how to apologize, how to love unconditionally. I'm grateful and lucky to have them.
Select one sibling or one real-life example to further illustrate this idea. As it is, you describe admirable qualities but not the tough experiences that led to them.

wrote :
The three things which I am most thankful for:

* People who love me
* Laughing til I cry
* Rainy days

Three of my best life-skills are:

* Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
* Being a good friend and companion
* Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things
This is all good.

wrote :
The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
Not sure really, I don't spend too much time thinking about it.
This is your opportunity to tell your reader something special about you. Think about it! Make your profile stand out from the rest.

wrote :
The things I can't live without are:

* laughter
* books
* passion
* family
* pillows
There is room to give more character to these choices. What kinds of book? Which sort of passion?

wrote :
The first thing people notice about me:
That I'm usually pretty happy.
Again, this is ok but unremarkable. Make me want to meet you.

wrote :
Some additional information I want you to know:
I don't want to spoil the surprise.

My interests
I typically spend my leisure time:

Music, movies, internet research - there's always some topic I need to know more about, reading (I love sci-fi and historical books), trying to be healthy - inside and out. My idea of a good time is making dinner then watching a DVD, or heading to the mountains or beach for a day trip, happy hour with friends, or trying something different. I'm also big on traveling to new places and re-visiting my my favorites such as Seattle, London, New York, Sonoma, and pretty much any beach.
At last! I think I'm beginning to imagine you. Some of this could come earlier.

wrote :
The last book I read and enjoyed:
I love to read and I enjoy a variety of topics. The last book I read was a biography of Eleanor of Aquitaine. History is fascinating.
What did you think of the book? Why?


wrote :
According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:


* Dependable
* Easy-Going
* Intelligent
* Generous
This is a good profile, but could be a great one. Don't be afraid to dig a little deeper and describe in more colourful detail.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #3  July 22,2011, 5:54pm
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Posts: 31,691

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My reactions are in blue text. Red highlight I applied to your text is something which makes me especially likely to close; green highlight is something which makes me especially inclined to write.

Keep in mind that a large percentage of matches are abandoned profiles, or non-paying members, and will not write or reply for that reason.

Matches who view and don't write, or close you, are the ones to be more concerned over - especially those who were active during a free weekend.

calgal1117 wrote :
The one thing I am most passionate about:
I love to bake and cook. Creating new recipes and designs for cakes and cookies fills my creative needs, and tastes good too! One of my goals is to open my own bakery. Also, spending time with the people I love, and enjoying my life.


To me, cooking is an appealing hobby, but typically belongs elsewhere in a profile. That you want to start a business changes that, and it definitaly is right to be here.

Note, that this means your profile really needs to display business savvy as an overall tone, not starry-eyed ignorance, from this point forward.

As a personal reaction, although I also like to cook, a mouse could carry the amount of sweets I consume in a year. I would like to see this (and my partners) have a more balanced diet. (Again, the business aspect makes this okay, though.)


The most important thing I am looking for in a person is:
Someone who is kind and loving. A sense of humor helps too.


I'd like to see something specific.

But, since most people's demands put them right into the "close" category, this is fine as-is.



Occupation: Marketing
Age 35
Height 5' 7"
Wants Kids: Yes
Kids at Home: No
Ethnicity African-American
Religion: Christian
Drinks: About once a week
Smokes: Never


The most influential person in my life has been:
My siblings have taught me just about everything I ever needed to know. How to share, how to forgive, how to apologize, how to love unconditionally. I'm grateful and lucky to have them.


Bland and not really adding anything. I don't care much for this question, so it's fine for me.


The three things which I am most thankful for:

* People who love me
* Laughing til I cry
* Rainy days

Three of my best life-skills are:

* Continuing to expand my knowledge and awareness
* Being a good friend and companion
* Finding pleasure and contentment in simple things

The one thing I wish MORE people would notice about me:
Not sure really, I don't spend too much time thinking about it.


Ignoring the question ...

In this case, you are calling attention to an overall sparse aspect to your profile.

Especially in your case, it's best to answer all the questions (or you seem lazy, which is a compatibility problem - and not a way to make a business succeed.)


The things I can't live without are:

* laughter
* books
* passion
* family
* pillows

The first thing people notice about me:
That I'm usually pretty happy.

Some additional information I want you to know:
I don't want to spoil the surprise.


Another ignored question.


I typically spend my leisure time:
Music, movies, internet research - there's always some topic I need to know more about, reading (I love sci-fi and historical books), trying to be healthy - inside and out. My idea of a good time is making dinner then watching a DVD, or heading to the mountains or beach for a day trip, happy hour with friends, or trying something different. I'm also big on traveling to new places and re-visiting my my favorites such as Seattle, London, New York, Sonoma, and pretty much any beach.


I would like to see more detail, here.

There isn't much that helps me see how I could fit into your life.

Also, you are listing a lot of travel - enough that I expect not to be compatible (though I would not close for that, I'd still communicate and explore in detail.)


The last book I read and enjoyed:
I love to read and I enjoy a variety of topics. The last book I read was a biography of Eleanor of Aquitaine. History is fascinating.


Add something. Tell your matches why you liked this book ...


According to my friends:
My friends describe me as:

* Dependable
* Easy-Going
* Intelligent
* Generous

Overall, your one-line answers sound lazy and disinterested.

It's like you don't care, you expect men to fall out of the sky onto you, and you're going out a lot because you're not able to discriminate and attract quality partners. (This is a big read flag.)

Other than that, your profile is quite benign. I close 75% of my matches, but I don't see any obvious concerns (other than the sparseness.)

I'd personally prefer more insight into the business - but it is also fine to save this for in person meetings, so it's fine to omit.
 
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ami1uwant is offline ami1uwant Post #4  July 22,2011, 9:54pm
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Joined: Feb 2008

Seattle, WA

Posts: 4,640

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Io agree with others here...you should make those corrections suggested.

Why you haven't had much luck..this profile is part and your. Pics do matter as well.

To say when ou aren't having the same luck and meeting rate I need to know more detail of how your past meeting came about.
 
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calgal1117 is offline calgal1117 Post #5  July 22,2011, 10:01pm
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Perplexed!

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Joined: Jul 2011

Pasadena, CA

Posts: 2

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Thanks for the feedback. I'll definitely consider these comments as I revise my profile.
 
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KikiAZ is offline KikiAZ Post #6  July 23,2011, 2:48pm
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posting from the 6th largest city in America

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Joined: Apr 2011

Posts: 1,649

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The cooking is great and the last paragraph works, otherwise it is merely pleasant but a bit bland. More like: my favorite color is blue and I like kittens. Not enough detail...

Cooking and baking....are you the Queen of BBQ? currently working on making the perfect vanilla custard? Do you like Garth or JayZ or Madonna or Metallica? Are you a pc or mac? Are you a vegan surfer hippy chick or a line dancing southern girl in cowboy boots?

Maybe I am feeling romantic today, but you (probably) aren't just advertising for a date or a call or an email...you are advertising for YOUR MAN. Open up a bit.

Best-K
 
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