Should I put I am looking for a serious relationship in my about me?


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Cali42 is offline Cali42 Post #1  July 21,2011, 12:04pm
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In the section to post more about me a friend suggested that I put something like “ While I want to take my time to get to know someone; I am looking for a serious relationship, and see myself getting married in the next 5years.”

BTW, I am a woman 42.

I am just generally having a hard time deciding on what I should put in that section. I appreciate all suggestions!
 
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SteveManchesterEngland is offline SteveManchesterEngland Post #2  July 21,2011, 1:29pm
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I'm scratching my head when I read it. I just sounds boring and off putting.

The profile is supposed to sell you to the reader.

"While I want to take my time to get to know someone; I am looking for a serious relationship"
- what is the point/purpose of this comment?


", and see myself getting married in the next 5years.”
- what is the point/purpose of including this comment?


I think these comments were because you couldn't think of anything.


Do you have anything interesting in your life or past you'd like to tell the reader? Did you rescue a family from a burning building in your youth or spend 4 years travelling the world before you settled down in your current job? Something unique and interesting about you???? anything that could spark interest and a conversation.

If I couldn't think of anything I'd put something witty or amusing in there.
 
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maffif is online now maffif Post #3  July 21,2011, 1:48pm
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Cali42 wrote :
In the section to post more about me a friend suggested that I put something like “ While I want to take my time to get to know someone; I am looking for a serious relationship, and see myself getting married in the next 5years.”

BTW, I am a woman 42.

I am just generally having a hard time deciding on what I should put in that section. I appreciate all suggestions!
I don't see a problem with this. I have something like that in my profile, not the married part but looking for a relationship. I did this because I have been out with a few guys who weren't looking for a committed relationship. I was hoping this would keep anyone who was just wanting to date casually from contacting me.

I have other information about me in that section, too.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #4  July 21,2011, 2:06pm
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One thing's for sure it will do some weeding for you.
A guy can't be on the fence because he now knows where you stand..
If you think it will work, go for it.
 
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nightling is offline nightling Post #5  July 21,2011, 2:35pm
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Maybe a less off-putting way to say it is to say you are looking for someone who is also seeking a lifelong partner or something like that.

I definitely would not put a timeline in the profile.
 
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Diana_P is offline Diana_P Post #6  July 21,2011, 3:35pm
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Cali42 wrote :
In the section to post more about me a friend suggested that I put something like “ While I want to take my time to get to know someone; I am looking for a serious relationship, and see myself getting married in the next 5years.”

BTW, I am a woman 42.

I am just generally having a hard time deciding on what I should put in that section. I appreciate all suggestions!
The only problem with this is that most guys don’t know they are looking for a serious relationship until they meet the right girl then it’s time to get rid of all the dirty magazines, friends with benefits and find religion. LOL!

Apart from a few hopeless romantics most guys want to sow their wild oats for as long as they can. They don’t give up the chase for good times and easy sex until they find that one girl that just buckles their proposing knee almost from the instant she says hello. You could be that one girl.

I understand not wanting to waste your time with horn dogs, but eliminating them is like getting rid of pretty much the whole male population.

Here’s what you might consider instead. Give them a challenge. Guys like worthy challenges because it raises your stock price in their mind. The harder they have to work for you the more you are worth provided there is interest to begin with.

Take this and turn it into something you feel comfortable with: “I’m a bit old fashioned and I like to take things slow, but I am a very passionate person. I enjoy making a romantic dinner, walks in the moonlight and making love on the beach. I’m seeking someone interested in a serious relationship to share my passions, build a future and grow old and gray together. Are you that guy?”

This way you let them know that there will be sex but not to contact you if they aren’t looking for something long term. You get the picture. Good luck!
 
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3GIG is offline 3GIG Post #7  July 21,2011, 3:51pm

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Cali42 wrote :
In the section to post more about me a friend suggested that I put something like “ While I want to take my time to get to know someone; I am looking for a serious relationship, and see myself getting married in the next 5years.”

BTW, I am a woman 42.

I am just generally having a hard time deciding on what I should put in that section. I appreciate all suggestions!
eHarmony brands itself as a relationship site (not a dating site). Guys in their late thirties into the forties are on eH to look for a serious relationship too.

Instead, write something quirky or fun about you in that section. Then you can pick an essay question (or write your own essay question) for matches to address their readiness or hesistancy to settle down to marriage within the next five years.
Last edited by 3GIG; July 21,2011 at 3:53pm.
 
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maffif is online now maffif Post #8  July 21,2011, 3:56pm
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[quote=3GIG;1389386]eHarmony brands itself as a relationship site (not a dating site). Guys in their late thirties into the forties are on eH to look for a serious relationship too.

One of the reasons I joined EH was for the very reason you stated, but I have found out that just isn't true. I have dated some from EH who are not looking for a serious relationship or have no idea what they want.
 
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TheThinker is offline TheThinker Post #9  July 21,2011, 4:15pm
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nightling wrote :
Maybe a less off-putting way to say it is to say you are looking for someone who is also seeking a lifelong partner or something like that.
I would not say this...not if my intent was to be "married."
The term "partner" to me implies that she's not necessarily looking to make it legal.

(Regarding her time line..5 years is perfectly reasonable...and, with the right match, attainable also.)
Last edited by TheThinker; July 21,2011 at 4:17pm.
 
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D_Lion is online now D_Lion Post #10  July 21,2011, 4:20pm
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Cali42 wrote :
In the section to post more about me a friend suggested that I put something like “ While I want to take my time to get to know someone; I am looking for a serious relationship, and see myself getting married in the next 5years.”

BTW, I am a woman 42.

This is not a good idea.

If you want a committed relationship leading to marriage, then the right way to go about it is to make sure you convey yourself as a healthy, capable, fun person who will make a good spouse.

Telling me what you want mainly makes me move on

A profile is for describing who you are.

I just assume that everyone will marry when the time and partner is right.


wrote :
take my time to get to know someone



Means: "I lack experience at healthy relationships and am unable to attract good partners. I also have emotional / developmental problems with intimacy."

Don't write that in your profile.


wrote :
serious

All of my relationships are serious. What's your point?


wrote :
see myself

With whom do you "see yourself?"

A Kennedy scion would never describe themself as "I see myself getting a degree." Your profile shouldn't either.

***

This section of your profile is for a non-essential fact that didn't fit anywhere else. You might include some detail about your family's holiday gathering, your school (if still in school), some hobbies, a vacation which has been planned, or an unusual skill ...
 
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